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Repeating Apologies

Chapter XIII

Austin POV
Shay was being all lovey dovey lately because of the song, I guess it worked then. Just for the wrong person. I wasnt into all the emotion he was giving me and bless him he was trying, I just put a smile on and went along. Is this how the rest of my life will be? I guess I cant keep obsessing over someone that used to love me. I can't be forever hopeful.
I can at-least try to win him over, I mean its not fair on Jack but, no. Its not fair on him. I've been doing the same with Shay, trying to spare feelings. I would say Alan is in the same problem as me but hes not. He doesnt love me anymore and I think thats it. I took too long and I have only myself to blame.
"We're gonna be late babe" Shay called to me from the living room, after I had written that song he seemed to of forgotten everything, in fact everything seemed perfect to him. I should be happy, that i've got Shay but I just couldnt escape the sinking feeling, that everything I loved just disapeared. I didnt love Shay as much as I used to and I hated myself for that. I guess I had the chance. I still remember that night we spent together, from the bar to the alleyway to his place. I smiled at that memory but I was soon brought back to earth and reality hit me.
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"My sister says that the french restaurant down the road is nice, i think we should go soon" Shayley suggested as we walked into the studio. I nodded my head, and forced a smile, it didnt strike me as something to look forward. We walked into the main room, Shay stopped straight in his tracks and I bumped into him not looking where I was going. "What the hell" I let out, It was practically the first thing i've said all morning.
"Jack?" Shay questioned, he was staring straight at the guy sat near Alan. Alan looked as confused as I did and Jacks face reddened.
"Uh, hey Shay" He replied shakily.
"You guys know each other?" Alan asked slowly, he looked around the room, everyone was confused apart from Shay and Jack. Jack seemed embarrassed.
"Yeah, um. We met through my sister Laney" Jack confessed.
Laney. Laney Halls?
"Jaxs girlfriend?" i butted in, I looked to Shay whose face turned bright red. Jack nodded his head. My eyes kept flicking from Jack and to Shay. Shay knew that I knew exactly who it was but Alan not so much. Shay looked nervous as he swallowed the lump in his throat, like he had butterflies.
"So, this is the guy?" I asked Shay. He nodded his head without a look of guilt on his face, I guess he has no reason, he always has to be around Alan so.
"Am I missing something?" Alan asked, Jack looked uncomfortable. "Me-and Shay, hooked up a while ago"
Shay looked shocked and kind of mad. "A while ago? Just hooked up? It was like last week and better than just a hook up! You never even called me back!" Shay growled.
Called him back?
"What do you mean, call back?" I asked shakily, he was planning to carry on seeing him afterwards?
"Oh- nothing" Shay retracted
"No Shay, what did you mean?" I pushed. Clearly Shay wasnt going to reply
"He wanted me to call him so we could keep seeing each other, we tried it last year but I wasnt up to it." Jack confessed. At least someone said something but I can't believe Shay wanted to actually keep seeing him behind my back. It broke my heart, more than it was already broken. I wasnt planning on seeing Alan, that was a one time thing, like he said his was.
"You said it was a one time thing!" I confronted Shay, his face was red, he looked equally mad and upset. "You cheated on me last year too?"
Instead of replying to me or even trying to apologize he just looked at me in the eye, turned around and started walking out of the door. I couldnt believe he cheated on me last year. Last year I did nothing wrong, nothing bad.
"Why are you walking away?! Talk to me!" I demanded walking after him. He wasnt getting out of it this easy.
"Shay!" I called again. "What are you doing?"
He finally turned around.
"We're done Austin, Its not the same between us and theres no repairing this. Im gonna need you to move the stuff out of the apartment, it is mine after-all." He said spitefully.
Do relationships end that quickly? I may not of loved him as much as I did but it really hurt me. To just be dumped like that. This week was full of rejection. Did literally no one want to be with me? Or at least be around me?
Alan and the rest of the guys came out to see what happened, I was staring off into Shays direction when I felt Phils hand rest on my shoulder. "Im sorry man, none of us saw that coming"
I swallowed the lump in my throat and held back tears. "Looks like im homeless.." I let out. I had no idea what I was going to do. I mean, I could move to my dads but thats in another state. "I might have to move back to my dads"
"Dude thats ages away" Tino argued "You can't"
"Ive got no where else to go, the apartment is Shays"
"Stay at mine" a quiet voice said, I turned my head and Alan was staring at me, with a warm smile. "We've got a spare room, Im sure Aaron won't mind"
"Thanks" I replied. I guess its better than no where. I know I know, this is pretty much something i've wanted for ages, to live with Alan but it doesnt sound good anymore. He's with Jack and we're kind of on awkward terms.
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I unlocked the door to my old home, it felt weird knowing that I wouldnt live here anymore, that everything is just gone. Thankfully Shay was out and I was alone. I dont think I wanted to see him. All that upset I had earlier turned to anger. I actually think I hated him. I bet Jax encouraged him. Just in spite of me. After rounding up all of my things and putting them into my suitcase I realized just how little things I have. I didnt realize how much of it was Shays.
All of that was old memories now, memories which I will soon forget out of hate. I walked out the door, locked it and then placed my key through the letter box. I was done with this place and I didnt want to return.
I put my case in my Jeep, took one last look at the place and drove off without a second thought. I dont know what was going to happen to the band, surely Shay wouldnt still be around.
I got to Alans and I knocked on the door with my one suitcase in the other hand, waiting to be let in so I could live my life awkwardly around the guy I love. He answered the door with a smile on his face and I couldnt help but smile. It was infectious. "Thanks again Alan" I whispered.
"No problem" He replied with a soft smile. He showed me to the spare room that they once used for storage and I unpacked my clothes and every other thing I owned. Wow I really didnt have that much stuff. It didnt take long to get everything sorted and in place. For the rest of the day I helped with the housework, I mean its the least I could do. Whilst Aaron was just doing normal jobs I noticed he sings a lot to kind of encourage himself to work. His voice was amazing. Like, godly.
"Do you play bass by any chance?" I did notice that he had a bass guitar lying around in the living room so I couldnt help but ponder.
He smiled "Yeah a bit"
"Sweet" I replied. Could he replace Shay? Like, his vocals would match our sound so well. Im already thinking about Shays replacement. Ha, I really really did hate him it seemed.
Jack and Alan were in his room and I didnt want to guess what they were doing so i just focused my mind on something else. Like the housework, songs and all the other things.
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"I- dont care, if your beautiful lips, exist out there, cause im wonderless, why the best cant make it in hollywood, no more." I began to sing. I loved the song wonderless. It just, spoke to me. It was one of my favourite to sing for fun. Aaron soon recognized the tune and smiled and began to sing along with me.
"Its like a long drag taken, before the smoke hits the white sky, like the birds at night. And its fake just like the movies, oh yeahh" we dragged out the end simultaneously. Aaron carried on with the rest of the music, it really motivated us to carry on with the rest of the apartment, there was a lot of stuff to move from where it had been previously.
"I think i'm gonna like you living here" aaron laughed "Alan never sings with me"
I smiled "You've got a great voice by the way dude"
He smiled in reply, like no one has never told him it before. Surely they had? At-least im sure Alan has. "You know any breaking benjamin?" I asked hopefully
"Of course dude" he stood for a second thinking of what song he wanted to sing
"I see nothing in your eyes and the more I see the less I like" He smiled as he started to sing. Okay so I see how weird this might seem but actually it was kind of normal for me and im guessing the same as him. We were just the kind of people that liked to sing when doing something to like, encourage ourselves, have a bit of fun.
"So sacrifice yourself, and let me have whats left. I know that I can find the fire in your eyes, im going all the way, get away, please." He carried on as I nodded my head. I liked to put my own twist into some songs by singing them heavier than they should be.
"You take the breath right out of me. You left a whole where my heart should be, you got to fight just make it through" I sang "Cause I will be the death of you" I growled.
"Im waiting! Im praying! realize, start hating" Aaron sang with a huge grin on his face. "We make a good team dude" he said afterward, we kinda did.
Jack and Alan then walked out of the room, "Will you guys shut the fuck up" Alan grumbled whilst Jack just laughed at his mardy ways. "You guys sound good together" he complimented. I really didnt feel like being nice to Jack solely because he was with Alan but when had Jack ever done something wrong to me? He probably didnt know that Shay was with me at the time. I had no reason to be mad at him.
"Thanks" I said slowly. He smiled at me and then kissed Alan goodbye and disappeared out of the door. I hated how happy he made Alan, I hated how perfect he was. I mean, of course I was happy that Alan was happy but it just got to me that its not because of me.
Alan walked over to the kitchen all perky with a smile on his face, he jumped up onto the kitchen counter and sat munching on some strawberries left out in the fruit bowl. "so, hows the cleaning going?" he giggled to himself. Aaron just shook his head, "It would go smoother if you'd help"
He pulled a face as if to say he was thinking about it mockingly. "or I could just sit here". Aaron rolled his eyes at his response where as I just laughed at the two squabbling.

Notes

Comments

Oh good that Austin is safe! I'm so glad that you're back to writing this story :)

Chaos'sWolf Chaos'sWolf
5/12/15

I seriously just read both the prequel and the sequel today and this is amazing.... I really want you to update

SnypperBVB16 SnypperBVB16
4/25/15

What happened to this story!? I'm still anxious for more!!

Chaos'sWolf Chaos'sWolf
4/3/15

YAAAAAAAS A SEQUEL!!! I'm addicted and gosh dang it, I need more!!

Chaos'sWolf Chaos'sWolf
1/5/15

@sir langdon my fish
Omg thank you so so so much! It means so much to me!

Vincent Vincent
1/5/15