Repeating Apologies

Alan POV
Now or never. Jack was either going to show or not. I slowly opened the heavy door to the pub, it was packed. I had never seen so many people in this pub before, there was a crowd around the stage area, i walked over to the bar to at least get a drink then made my way over to see what was going on. There was a guy on the stage, playing guitar and singing, Ed Sheeran songs I think. The voice was angelic, once I got closer I realized who it was, and he noticed me.
It was Jack for sure. He smiled at me and his gorgeous brown eyes twinkled in my direction. I couldnt help but smile back, I know we have literally only just met but, there was some kind of connection there, something I knew straight away.
Once he had finished the song he stood up said thank you to everyone and walked off stage. So many people wanted to talk to him afterwards to tell him how amazing he did but he came straight to me. "I was hoping you'd show up" He smiled at me, "Why wouldnt i?" I grinned back at him. He gestured at a table for us to sit at, so we walked over and sat down.
We talked all night, I dont know what time it was when i got home but it was a good night. We didn't hook up or anything, I mean yeah, there was some flirty banter and we exchanged numbers. This guy was literally amazing, I thought all hope was gone for me of finding anyone so amazing but I guess not. Once I finally got in I had to be quiet, Aaron was in bed and I didnt want to wake him.
I took my shoes and shirt off and then my jeans, and threw myself on my bed and smiled. It was a genuine smile, I havent had one in a while. Once all was quiet I closed my eyes and I could only hear my breathing slowing down as I drifted off into comfortable sleep. But then my phone started to vibrate. I didnt open my eyes, I just ignored it. But then it rang again, I had to answer it now, if they call twice they must need something, but who would be calling at this time? Its like 2am.
I picked up my cracked phone and saw Austins face appear on my screen. I was reminded how beautiful he was, he gorgeous smile and his lustful eyes staring at me. But... what did he want? He left without saying a word to me, the last time we saw each other was the time we had sex and all the things Shay said to me about him.. why was he calling me? Regretfully I answered but I said nothing.
"A-Alan?" He croaked, sounded like he had been crying, but that couldnt possibly happen, Austin doesnt cry, he always manages to keep it in. I mumbled a reply, I dont think it was english but yknow, it was a reply.
"Did I wake you? Im so sorry" he continued. "I-I just wanted to hear your voice" I didnt know what to reply to that. Why did he want to hear my voice at 2am?
"Why?" I questioned him, I heard him sigh in relief after I had spoke
"I just- I miss you Alan"
"Its 2am"
"I couldnt sleep, i'm sorry"
"I was awake anyway, just got in actually"
".. in from where?"
"oh- i- I was out with a friend.."
"Oh, okay, sure."
"Austin?"
"Yeah?"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was spontaneous. I didnt want to tell anyone"
"Why did you go though? I've heard some rumours"
"I need to clear my head is all. Whats been said?"
"Shay said that-"
"Don't listen to him."
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Have you called him?"
He didnt reply. I'll take that as a no. There was silence on the line.
"Austin I need to know, what this is. What we have, like, what are we?" He was still silent. I wanted to know what he'd call this, if I wanted to start investing into someone else I needed to know where I stood with him. "Austin?"
"I dont know Alan"
".. well, let me know" I was going to hang up but he replied before I could.
"I'll never not love you, you know"
"Don't do this Austin. Think of Shay"
He took a breath "..yeah. I'll let you sleep now... night kitten" and he hung up.
Why did he have to call me that? Of all things, he knew kitten got to me the most. I dont know what his game was and I dont know what he was intending to do, but it just made me mad. I wanted to know what we were.
I was just as bad as he was, im still playing this game too and i dont know if i wanted out or not.
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"We should go out tonight, just us two. To Antonios.." Jack smiled suggestively. He wanted to take me out to Antonios. Antonios is the best Italian restaurant around here, hella expensive. I smiled back at him "You spoil me rotten" i joked.
"Why shouldnt I?" he replied quickly, he was being flirty and god damn it was nice. To just go through this whole flirty stage again. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and put his head close to mine. "I'll pick you up at 8"
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8pm. We got to Antonios, dressed all fancy to fit in. He looked good in a suit and apparently so did I. He smiled at me as he pulled out a chair for me to sit out, he was being a proper gentleman.
"So Alan" He smiled softly.
"Yes?"
"I've been thinking, about us"
"There's an us?" I grinned, messing with him. He playfully kicked my leg under the table and rolled his eyes "Anyway, I- I wanted to just, yknow. I wanted it to be more than this"
"I dont know what you mean Mr Fowler"
"Yknow" His cheeks were getting flushed but i wasnt finished messing around with him yet. I raised my eyebrows at him and he sighed.
"Do I have to say it?"
I nodded my head.
"Alan Ashby, will you.. be my boyfriend?" He asked shakily whilst his face was bright red, I giggled at him and nodded my head without thought. "Of course I will" His smile then lit up the room, it was infectious.
"You're such a gentleman Jack"
He stuck his head in the air and smiled confidently.
"I know boy, I know"
We laughed it off and when we got back to his place, well. You can guess.
This guy was well endowed and very talented. I felt lucky to say the least, he treated me like everyone should treat their partner, we were happy together.
Band practise hadnt been going on because Austin wasnt here and they didnt want me and Shay in a room together without Austin being able to disarm Shay, but that was fine by me, i got to spend more time with Jack.
I was at home just talking to Aaron about music as we always do and the doorbell went, I was expecting Jack to come round today to meet Aaron but not this early. I opened the door with a smile and stood there with a panicked face was Austin. He towered over me as usual and smiled at me when we made eye contact. Ah shit. Jack was going to be over soon and I cant help but think it'd be awkward with both of them here. "Uh hey" I spoke.
"Hey, sorry, is this bad timing?" He asked cautiously, i shook my head "No, come in" I didnt want to be rude, its not like me to say to someone that its bad timing and that they cant come in.
"When did you get back?" I asked as we were walking towards the sofa, we sat down and he cleared his throat.
"I want you Alan."
I was taken aback, what? My emotion was coming across on my face, I looked to Aaron, wondering if he knew anything about this but he was as shocked as me. I looked back to Austin and he was desperately looking into my eyes.
"W-WHat?"
"You told me to make a choice, thats why I went away. I needed to be away from everyone, to really do some soul searching. Its you Alan, its always been you." He smiled at me, he was still scared, I think he was scared of whatever reaction I would have. But how was I supposed to react? As if things couldnt get any worse, the doorbell went.
I looked at Austin and stood up and walked over to the door. My hands were shaking. I opened the door and without a thought Jack took me into an embrace, he kissed me passionately, I needed to say something. I didnt want to turn around and see Austins reaction but I knew i'd have to see it eventually.
Jack walked fully into the room and he noticed Austin sat on the sofa, "Whos this babe?" he asked me polietly. Mine and Austins eyes were locked on each other, "uh- he's my -uh friend" I managed to spit out. He looked heart broken, I really didnt want to look at his broken face anymore.
Jack walked over to him and put his hand out to shake Austins, he was so innocent, not really knowing who he was or what our history was. Austin stood up, and like a giant stood over Jack, any other day and he might of seemed quite intimidating, but not today. Today he was broken, clearly. He shook his hand and looked over to me, then Aaron, then me again. "I should go"
Nothing was stopping him, he stormed out of the apartment before I could say a word.
Im such an idiot.

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