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We'll Fall Together (Austin Carlile)

Chapter three

"So all you have is what's in your gun?" Austin questioned. Sadie nodded and let out a sigh.

"Yep," she said. "If only I hadn't left my God damn suitcase.." She sighed again. "We have to go back."

"What?" Austin asked. "Tonight?"

"I don't know, maybe," Sadie answered. "I don't know if we should go back tonight, or even tomorrow."

"I feel like you don't want to go back," Austin told her. "We don't have to go back."

"I don't," she admitted. "But I feel like we have to."

"We do not have to go back, Sadie," Austin said. "If it scares you --"

"I'm not scared!" Sadie interrupted. Ah, yes, because shouting at Austin that you're not scared in the middle of the sentence that isn't necessarily implying that you are scared, automatically proves that you're not scared.

"Then what are you?" Austin looked down at the blonde, his eyebrows raised, awaiting her response. She let out a breath of defeat. "I know you're scared, Sadie. You haven't stopped shaking since we got back."

"I'm not shaking," Sadie said, now looking down at her trembling hands. Okay, maybe she was scared. It's not like she wanted to be scared. No one wants to be scared. It really sucks - letting your life be ruled by fear. It's a waste. It's a burden. It's like you want to be free and do things you shouldn't, but these hands, these large, disgusting hands, grab you. They grab you and they don't let you go. Their fingers grow and wrap around you like vines. You try to free yourself, but you know it's too strong.

"Right," Austin replied. "You're trembling. Look at you."

"I'm fine, Austin."

"You look like you just saw a ghost," Austin told her. "We're not going back if you're that shook up."

"But --"

"Sadie."

"What?"

"We're not going back."

"Fine," Sadie snapped. "What do we do now?"

"I was thinking we'd just wait and drive down in the morning," Austin suggested. "After today, I think a good night's rest would be good for you -- for the both of us." He tried to give her a reassuring smile, only to have Sadie shrug in response.

"Yeah," Sadie agreed. "Well, make yourself at home. I'm going to go pick this glass out of my face."

----

Once Sadie emerged from the bathroom, she was changed into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. Her bathroom was connected to her bedroom, so it had given her the chance to snag some clothes without Austin possibly, very unlikely, though, seeing her nude. Or in a towel, rather. She had taken a quick shower. Much thanks to the paranoia that creeped up on her and forced her to only shampoo her hair before she got out. Her face stung from antiseptic, and, thankfully, she had stopped shaking so God damn much.

"You feeling any better?" Austin peaked his head out of the kitchen, causing Sadie to jump in surprise. "Shit, I'm sorry - didn't mean to scare you."

"Well you did," Sadie huffed. She felt her hands began to shake again. "And what makes you think I wasn't feeling good before?" She had joined him in the kitchen, who had whipped up a pizza, Sadie guessed, given the aroma of tomato sauce filling the air. She hopped up onto the counter, lightly hitting her heels on the wooden cabinets.

"Well," Austin began. "You were shaking like fucking crazy earlier." He looked down at Sadie's fidgeting hands. She felt his stare and that made her shift uncomfortably. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Anyway, you're not shaking now. Well, not as much." He glanced at the timer on the oven, then back to Sadie. "You don't look as pale, either."

"Really?" Sadie asked. "My foundation is at least two shades darker than my natural skin color, and I'm not wearing it right now." She shook her head. "But, no, I was fine earlier, and I'm fine now."
"Stop lying, Sadie," Austin said. "For the last time, I know you were scared, and it's not a bad thing. If one of those things was in my face, and I was chased by armed guards, I'd be scared, too. It's a natural human emotion to be afraid. It's what makes us - well, us."

"Are you scared?"

Austin looked at Sadie. His lips were a flat line and his head was slightly titled to the right; he looked confused. "Of what? This?"

"Yeah," Sadie nodded. "This."

"I don't know," Austin shrugged. "I mean, yeah, I'm a little worried, but scared? I haven't figured that out yet." He cleared his throat. "If that uh - if that makes sense?"

"It makes sense," Sadie told him. "I felt that way, too. Until I had a close encounter with a zombie, and got chased by men with guns. Now I'm scared." Sadie thought for a moment. "But at this moment, I'm not scared. I'm definitely scared, generally speaking. But at this moment, no."

"Why is that?"

Because Sadie had always felt safe with Austin. Maybe it was height, or maybe his biceps, but something else had always given her a comforting feeling when she was with him. Although she hadn't seen him in months, the feeling didn't hesitate to set in when she saw him again. She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Are you still mad at me?" He asked, his eyes directed at Sadie, begging her to say no.
She furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

"Like, earlier. You got upset, and then you changed the subject," Austin explained. "Like it was nothing."

"I wasn't upset."

"You were upset."

"You don't know how I feel, Austin," Sadie said.

"Well then how do you feel?" He asked.

"Can you not do this tonight?" Sadie spat. It came out more harsh than intended, really, she never liked being rude to people, or coming across as mean. But she felt like her chest was being crushed with anxiety, and the questions spewing out of Austin's mouth only seemed to add onto the weight. "I just - I feel like shit, okay?" She sighed, running a hand through her damp hair. "I'm scared shitless, Austin. I can barely breathe."

"I--"

"And you asking me all these questions about how I feel," Sadie continued. "and then you telling me how I feel, I just don't like it. I don't like this situation we're in. I don't like any of this."
"I don't think anybody does," Austin commented, a small frown tugging at his lips. Sadie mimicked his expression.

"I get that," Sadie said. "But this - I'm just.. I don't know." She shook her head. "Never mind. Are you making pizza?"

"What?" Austin pressed. "You just what?"

"I'm upset. I'm so upset."

"Because?"

Sadie tugged at the ends of her hair, twisting the wet strands around her finger. "You stopped talking to me," she mumbled sheepishly.

"I already said I was sorry, Sadie," Austin stated dreadfully. "I know I hurt you for doing that, for such a stupid reason, too." He ran his hands through his hair. Sadie noticed his face was now clean, all the specs of blood cleared. He only had a bit of stubble, and there were bags under his eyes. They were barely visible, but they were there. He probably washed himself up in the kitchen, being she only had one bathroom in her small house, and she was occupying it. "I'm just - I'm so fucking sorry."

The oven let off a loud and long beeeeeeeeeep, signaling whatever Austin had put in the oven (hopefully pizza) was finished. He clenched his jaw in frustration, but proceeded to walk to the oven and take the pizza out, anyways.

"Like I was saying," Austin said, turning around to face Sadie, this time on the other side of the kitchen. "I'm really sorry - like, bottom of my heart, I'd-do-anything-for-you-to-forgive-me sorry."
Sadie gave him a small smile. "Well, I might consider forgiving you if you got me a slice of pizza."

"Got it," Austin replied, offering Sadie one of his famous grins, seeing Sadie's happier persona fade back.

But, much to their dismay, from now on most nights weren't going to end like this - with smiles and pizza.