An Alternate Ending

“Casey, do you want to end up with Oli?” Lynn asked me, my mind couldn’t quite decipher what I was being asked. Nothing was making sense to me anymore.

“I honestly don’t know” I mumbled. She looked at me and nodded.

“What do you feel when you see him?” She questioned. I shrugged, not really sure how I felt anymore. “Come here then” She grabbed my arm and dragged me from the kitchen area, through the bunks and out into the living room area. We were greeted by Oli and Matt playing Xbox together very loudly. Oli was laughing hysterically as Matt was whinging about Oli cheating at Fifa.

“What are we doing?” I asked as we just stood there awkwardly. Lynn just nodded towards Oli.

“What do you feel?” She whispered. I didn’t know really, even just looking at him. After a minute of looking at him he looked up and smiled at us. That was all I needed.

“Like butterflies are stabbing my insides out” I mumbled. She nudged me and pulled me off the bus completely. We walked into the cool air that surrounded the outskirts on Tennessee.

“And that’s how you know that he is the love of your life Case” She smirked at me.

“How did you figure that one out?” I rasied an eyebrow at her. She was obviously right but how did she come to terms with that?

“Well, if they don’t make you feel like you’re going to throw up everytime you look at them then they’re not right. The person you fall madly in love with has got to make you mad, and not just angry. Like insane kinda mad. If they don’t make you crazy then they’re not right for you. There is no real definition of love, everyone feels it a little different but for the most part people don’t know it’s real until they have it taken away. You’ve had it ripped away a few times now. And you’re still here, butterflies and sweaty palms at just a small smile. If that’s not love then I have no idea what is. I’d kill for a love like that” She smiled at me. I thought hard about what she was saying. I guess in some way she’s totally right.

“Life isn’t gonna be right when I go home and you stay here” I grumble. She grinned, knowing what I meant.

“I honestly don’t know how to deal with the fact you’ll be going home in three weeks” She laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever became such good friends with someone on a tour than I have with you” She gushed.

We decided to go back on the bus and sit with the guys, trying to see how Oli would react. “Hey guys” I said to them as I sat down next to my brother.

“Hi” Oli spoke up. Lynn sat down next to Oli.

“Give me that” I said to Matt and took the controller off him. It was now me against Oli, and that could only end badly.

“Oh great, now I’m gonna get beat by a girl” Oli whined loudly.

“It’s okay, I won’t taunt you too much” I grinned at myself.

After a quick match I won. Of course. I used to play Fifa all the time with my brother, and other football games growing up. It was pretty much in my DNA. “This is literally not even fair. You guys have something in your DNA that makes you good at this kinda shit” Oli threw the controller down onto the floor.

“It’s called being rad at life Oli” I cocked my head to the side.

“There’s more to life than Xbox” He huffed.

“You wouldn’t be saying that if we were playing a Sega game” Matt chimed in.

“Exactly, if this were sonic you’d be making us kiss your arse” I rolled my eyes.

“Lynn I apologise for how sad my friends are” Oli tried to act like we were being weird.

“It’s okay, I completely understand” Lynn laughed. “Anyway, you did suck at that game” She raised her eyebrows at him.

I nodded in agreement. “I barely even tried” I laughed.

“You guys are vile together, should not have paired you up for a friendship” Oli said getting up dramatically and walking away into the bunk area.

I moved into Oli’s previous space. “Things seem a lot better between you two then” Matt whispered. I looked at him and nodded.

“He apologised for being an arsehole, I haven’t fully forgiven him for it but I’m not as angry anymore” I explained to Matt. He nodded his head in understanding, he wasn’t always so sure I should be so forgiven but it’s just easier to keep the peace while on this tour.

“Some of your pictures have been amazing this tour. I’m so proud of you” He gushed. I always loved impressing him. He is my twin after all!

“I’m glad you’re enjoying the pictures. I don’t really know what to do with myself at times. I just kinda go with the flow” I laughed. “I’m gonna start taking more pictures of us just hanging out, chilling and stuff. I really wanna have more of a document that we’re just enjoying the simple things in life.

“Go get your camera now then” Lynn nodded towards the bunk area.

“Good idea actually” I said, standing up and walking over to the bunk area. I opened the door and walked in. Oli was standing at his bunk playing with his phone.

I tried to slide past him but he turned around as I was just behind him. “Shit didn’t see you there” He mumbled. We were both stuck in the middle looking at each other.

“It’s fine, don’t sweat it” I laughed nervously.

We were just kinda stuck there, looking at each other. Tension building up between us. “I should move right?” He asked, looking down at me intensely. I nodded. “But I can’t” He said softly.

“Why?” I asked, confusion lacing my voice. He just began leaning in, I thought he was going to kiss me so I closed my eyes and waited for it. Not caring how it ended. The kiss didn’t come and I opened my eyes up again to see him reaching up into the bunk above mine. He pulled out a phone charger and I felt the embarassment grow in my face. I swiftly threw myself into my bunk and picked up my camera.

I climbed back out and Oli was in his own bunk thankfully. I began walking away when I heard Oli softly say, “And you said it wouldn’t be that easy to kiss you...”

I continued walking out into the livingroom area and found Matt and Lynn chatting away. “What took you so long?” Lynn winked at me.

“Couldn’t find my lense bag” I lied. They wouldn’t buy it but I couldn’t just outright say that I just had an awkward encounter with Oli where I thought he was going to kiss me but he didn’t and it’s just kinda awkward.

“Oh, well at least you got your camera now” Lynn smiled at me. I nodded and set the camera up. She leaned in to hug Matt and have a picture taken. I took it and smiled at how nice it was.

“I like that” I said and showed them.

“Awe, we look cute” Lynn gushed. Matt blushed a little bit. He wasn’t very good with compliments.

I took one of the three of us together. It turned out very nice. Another one I took was of Lynn kissing my cheek, she looked so nice.

“What you guys doing?” Oli asked, walking into the living room again.

“We’re taking pictures” Lynn almost squealed. I love how excited she got when taking pictures.

“Oh, cool” He laughed.

“Come join in” Lynn gestured for him to come over. I shot a few of him and Lynn, then him and Matt. Lynn pulled me down on top of her and Oli, I snapped one of those group pile on type of shots. It looked really cute. I felt Oli’s hands pull me more on to his lap and steady me. It was really cute that he wante to be close to me. I took a couple selfies of me and him together.

“I like these” Oli announced. I looked at Lynn for some help with the situation.

“Shit, sorry I gotta dash for sound check” Lynn bounced up off of the couch. “See you later” She blew a kiss at me. I pretended to catch it.

“Yeah I gotta go speak to Lee” Matt excused himself and left me and Oli sitting awkwardly, me still on his lap.
About thirty seconds passed before I finally decided to slid off of his lap. I turned to face him slightly, hoping it wouldn’t be that awkward. “Well, this is...-”

“Awkward” He finished. I looked at him and burst out laughing. He followed suit, but not over doing it. The silence fell between us pretty quickly after it started.

“So...” I started. He looked at me and puffed his cheeks out.

“I don’t know” He laughed, blowing the air out of his cheeks. The signature Oli grin was plastered over his face, making my stomach do little flips.

“Why is this so awkward?” I huffed, feeling frustrated with everything.

“Maybe because you don’t want it to be. You would rather hate me and not have any feeling towards me, but instead you’re not sure what you want” He explained. “You just don’t want to completely let go do you” He sat up properly and looked into my eyes.

I stared back, unsure of how to take it. “You could be right, but I doubt it” I smirked at him. “It’s so much more fun hating you” I cocked my head to the side. I stood up and walked off the bus towards the venue. After a few minutes of wading throw fans I got inside the venue and walked down the corridoor towards the dressing rooms.

Suddenly I felt a grip on my arm, I was turned around and pushed up against the wall. “You don’t hate me though” He grinned down at me. I looked up, shocked that he followed me just to continue this. “You can’t ever hate me” He smirked.

“How would you know?” I said sternly. He ran his hand down the side of my cheek.

“If you hated me, you wouldn’t be standing here, letting me have this affect on you. You wouldn’t have prepared yourself for me to kiss you earlier either. And if you do hate me, then you love the feeling it gives you. You crave it” He said so cockily, as if he knew everything.

“Maybe I’m just confused” I shrugged. He smirked and shook his head.

“No, you know exactly how this is going to end Casey, and I’ll be waiting for you to grow up, then come and get it” I looked at him, unsure if I should just throw away all the hate I had for him and just kiss him, or keep acting like an immature child and accept he loves me.

And it’s not difficult to work out which choice I made. I reached up quickly and grabbed him by the hair, pulling his lips down onto mines. He was stiff at first, obvioulsy shocked by the sudden action. But he knew what he was doing. He pulled away and dragged me further down the hall and pushed through a door. I looked at the sign and it said ‘Utility Closet’. It was good enough for me. I pushed the door shut behind me and Oli pushed me up against the door. I felt him twist the lock next to me.

His lips re-attached themselves to mine, making me unable to breathe. Possibly from the lack of room, light and air in my lungs. Everything was happening way too fast for me. I had no idea what was going on. Oli kissed my lips harashly, maybe from the amount of tension between us or possibly from the fact that this was all a huge turn on for us. I always wanted a relationship where sexual encounters were just so random. Sometimes you just need someone and any random time. And this is how that felt.

He ran his hand through my hair and rested it behind my neck, making it difficult for me to move away from the kiss. His other hand was on my waist, holding me close to him. He started trailing kisses down my neck, giving me goosebumps everywhere. I have never missed anything as much as the feeling he gave me when he kissed me.

His hand trailed down my side and to my thighs, where he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waits. My bare thighs clung tightly to his waist. I was finally at his level, I couldn’t see his eyes from the darkness within the closet but I knew he was staring at me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him softly. Licking his lips slowly, hoping he would open his and let our tongues meet.

Suddenly the door was beginning opened, or someone was trying to open it but it was locked. We got such a fright Oli dropped me down onto my feet and I gasped really loudly, then began laughing.

I unlocked the door and sheepishly opened it, revealing a janitor waiting to get into the closet to get something. He didn’t say anything, just let us walk and past him with the most embarrassed look on our faces. We hung our heads as we both walked away, towards the dressing room. Not a word was shared between us, out of embarrassment and confusion.

Notes