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Too Young To Live This Way

Not like the others

--Alan POV--
I texted my Mom at lunch, asking if I could go to Tinos, and got the usual sort of answer. 'Of course sweetie, have a good time! I'm so glad you're making more friends, better than them other ones. God bless you! x'
It's a little bit sickening, but my Mom is like that. She's really religious, and seems to think having faith makes her a better Mom. It kinda does, in the sense that she has always supported me and stuff, but I just know that if I come out everything will change. And what's wrong with my friends anyway? Almost all my friends would probably have similar reactions to her I guess, and i'm starting to see that they only liked me because I got into fights, I was rude, I was a rebel. They don't actually like me for me, and I can see that they're not real friends. Talking of real friends, I wait patiently for Austin, Tino, Shay and Phil now. I got out of class early, because some kid fainted and had to be taken to the nurses office.
I lean against the wall in front of the school, watching people walk past, listening to music. I watch people walk past, occasionally glancing down awkwardly when people look at me. One dude with blonde-brown hair stops and says he likes my tshirt, which is a really ancient Iron Maiden shirt. I nod politely back, and continue to wait.
''Hey dude! Ashby!" Yells a voice from behind me, someone coming out of the school. It's Justin Trotta, one of my 'friends'. ''Where were you at lunch man? It was lonely!" I can tell he doesn't mean it was lonely like he missed me, he means it was lonely as in there weren't many people, so they looked unpopular. That's the end of the world.
''Oh, I was just hanging with Austin.'' I slip back into the slightly-too-loud aggressive speaking tone we always use with each other, worlds apart from the kind voices of normal people.
''Who's that?'' Justin laughs, and I have another realisation. Austin, who has been so kind to me, to everyone, isn't even on Justin radar.
''Dude, he literally blew up the science lab in front of you? The one who joined this school year with all the tattoos?'' I explain.
''Oh him.'' Justin frowns. ''Don't you think he's a bit weird... like, some people are saying he's gay Alan. You shouldn't hang around with him.'' This irritates me, yes, he's weird. Yes, he's gay. Neither of those are a bad thing, or a reason to stay away from someone. And why are people talking about Austin badly anyway?
''Who cares? He's cool. I'll do whatever i want.'' I snap, struggling not yell at him. Justin just laughs, obnoxiously loud.
''See you haven't lost it Al!" He yells, clapping me on the shoulder. When i ask what, he just replies ''The icy douche-bag vibe.'' with a smile, before bouncing away. I glare freely at his back, and become aware of a presence next to me.
''Hey Alan.'' It's Tino, looking slightly confused.
''Oh hey Tino.'' I sigh, turning to face him.
''Who's that? I thought he was your friend, right? He didn't seem very nice.'' Tino frowns, glancing after Justin.
''Oh... no, he isn't.'' I sigh, watching the receding figure of my 'best friend'. ''He's not very nice at all.''
''You know, you're alright Alan. I used to think you were a bit... full of yourself, but you're alright. You're cool.'' Tino says bluntly, slapping me on the back. Before I can reply, Austin and Shayley walk up, and I spot Phil hurrying towards us from the side of the school.
''Hey Al.'' Austin says, brushing his fingers against my elbow. ''Hey Tino.'' He nods greeting.
Tinos house is large, and comfortable looking. None of his family are home, so he lets us in and points us down the stairs behind a little door off the kitchen. Fortunately, mine and Phil's houses are on route to Tinos, so we picked up our guitars on the way. Shayley had his bass in school for some music lesson thing, so we clatter down the narrow stairway to a room which is clearly owned by a drummer. There's a full drumkit, with a few spare cymbals and snares and pedals scattered around. He must have at least three kits in here, but two in pieces around the room. There are a few snapped drumsticks chucked in a corner, and bunch of posters pasted on the walls. I notice a triple bass pedal carefully placed on a shelf, and see a double bass pedal tucked under the bass drum on the composed kit. Tino pulls open a cupboard door, and Shayley and Phil grab amps out of the cupboard. I can tell that they've clearly been here before, as they don't seem at all amazed by the musical beauty that Austin and I are in awe of.
''So I don't know if you two wanna... listen for a bit or something. We've actually already got a few songs, but we could do with the other guitarist, and vocals are always awesome'' Shayley announces. Alan and I exchange a glance, excited, nervous and slightly under pressure, we sit down on a little sofa in the corner. Yep, they've definitely done this before.
I almost jump out of my skin when Tino crashes the cymbals. I didn't think they were ready to start, but Tino is smashing an intro. Then the bass kicks in and the sofa vibrates below me. Phil smiles, and starts headbanging as he plays a clearly well-practised riff. My jaw drops, they're really really good at what they're doing. Austin reaches over, and squeezes my hand, and we watch and listen.
--Austin POV--
Alan squeezes my hand one more time, then drops it, and jumps up to hi-five Phil and Shayley, as Tino smashes out an ear-splitting drum solo in the corner. I try to yell how amazing it was, but I don't think anyone has a hope in hell of hearing me. Shayley looks at me curiously, not understanding what i'm trying to say, not hearing. He waves at Tino, yelling something. Tino crashes one last time, and we can hear Shay yelling ''Shut up!"
''That was amazing!" I say, grinning all over my face and trying not to bounce up and down.
''You guys fucking rock!'' Alan cheers, grabbing his guitar and looping it over his neck. ''You've gotta teach me that...''
''Of course...'' Phil replies, and the two of them drift off into a little guitarry bubble, as Phil runs Alan though the riff.
''So Austin.'' Shay says, clapping me on the shoulder. ''You ready to scream?''
''I guess?'' I smile, and Tino jumps up from his seat.
''Me and Tino and Phil have got a few lyrics for the thing we just played you. We think it'll be called 'Seven Thousand Miles For What'.'' Shayley announces, as Tino hands me a small, raggedy book. I open it, and read a few pages of lyrics. ''So i'll signal when you come in, you'll be able to tell roughly what timing it should be.'' I blink nervously. It's exciting, but kind of surprising that they want me to scream right away. I knew Alan would wanna get started right away, but I don't think i'm any way good enough.
''I'll try my best.'' I state firmly, squashing my feelings of self-effacing thoughts.
''Let's go!" Tino shouts, crashing once on the ride cymbal.
They play two notes as far as I can tell, then Shayley is nodding at me and all the nervous thoughts are vanishing. Any worries I had disappear and I open my mouth and scream the best I know how. Okay, my style isn't the same as anyone I can find, so that must mean it's a bit wrong or something, but I do my best. I know I mess up a lot on timing, but I guess it sounds okay. The words they've written are interesting, and I try to actually take in the words and put emotion into them instead of just saying them.
''Since when did you become so cold, and such a lifeless piece of work? I can't take the sound of you anymore... or the thought of you. Don't worry take what you need, I left you and your dying breed. But before we forget, when the lights burn out, don't come home crying to me. I will, surrender myself, for the better health of someone who really cares. Why would you throw it away so fast? It's gotta get better then this, too hard for too long. I'm holding on, try to go but it just don't feel right... this light, your eyes, I'm too easy. I should've known better by now, but you look so... damn good''
I end up accidentally screaming the last line by myself, as i'd been looking at the lyrics and not Shayley's conducting. They've drawn some help arrows and lines so I sort of see when to pause and rest and breathe and stuff.
--Alan POV--
I concentrate very hard, and try to do the right thing. Obviously, it's not perfect, it's out of time, my guitaring isn't perfectly in sync with the drums and bass and lead guitar, but all of it get's pulled together by Austin. He is a way better screamer than he gives himself credit for. I notice that he hasn't copied anyone else's style, he seems to come up with a new thing. Shayley lifts a hand in a symbol we understand to mean 'stop', but Austin was looking at the little songbook, and keeps going.
''Should've known better by now but you look so... damn go-'' He coughs to a halt, glancing sheepishly at us. ''Sorry that was bad, i'm a little out of practise, it ended up a bit more 'yell-ish' and a bit less growly.'' He brushes his hair off his face, blushing. He doesn't seem to notice that we're all staring at him in awe.
''No, no.'' Phil says. ''I mean, the 'yelling' as you called it... sounded cool.''
''Yeah it sounded different, cool.'' Shayley nods.
''Unique." Tino adds his two cents, chucking his sticks up and catching them. Austin looks over at me, and I can tell by his hopeful smile that he really wants me to like it. And I do. I nod and smile, that's all I can do, otherwise i'm going to kiss him, and neither of us want that in front of the others. Well... I don't, but he might.
Much later on, we decide to meet again the same time next week. We all wanted to meet sooner, but with one thing and another we didn't have time.
''Seeya later.'' Tino yells, as the four of us leave his house. I turn to say goodbye, and he shuts the door in my face with a grin. I smirk, and catch up with Austin and Shayley. Phil has started walking up a different street, just round the corner from Tinos' place. We start walking, and in the dark, Austin subtly takes hold of my hand. Shayley can't see, the other side of me couldn't see if there was someone there, so it's okay.
''I guess i'm kinda the third wheel right now huh.'' Shayley says after a minute of awkward silence.
''W-What?'' Austin stutters as I drop his hand like a hot fish. (A/N sorry to interrupt but hot damn tuna fish good metaphor you twat)
''You two... what's going on?'' Shayley asks, a smirk clear in his voice.
''Um...'' Austin glances at me frantically, and I sigh. Before I can say anything, Shayley is talking again.
''It's okay if you're dating. It's cool, we don't want you to feel embarrassed or that you have to hide it around us. We're your friends, band-mates too I guess.'' Shayley proclaims.
''Oh... well thanks Shay.'' I smile, I guess this is okay. I trust that Shayley won't spread it, he's too good a person.
''So... does that mean i'm right? You guys are dating?'' Shayley stops walking and turns to look at me and Austin. Austin glances at me again, before we both nod.
''Yeah, yeah we are.'' Austin mumbles, blinking nervously.
''Since like two weeks after Aus moved here.'' I add, not sure what to say.
''Cool!" Shayley says, he laughs, then starts to walk again, hoisting his bass guitar up on his shoulder. ''Cool.''

Notes

sorry I haven't updated
my dad is divorcing his wife and I've been busy sorry
ty for 2000 views! :)))

Comments

Hey I'm sorry about your dad :( but great chapter!

@Cashby in my soul
Haha OKAYY

Aha thank you @AustlanTheSquidgy, it's just me writing and I kinda went Christmas and did completely nothing else :') sorry about that...

Omfg, This is so good <3 This is one of my favorite Cashby stories. c: Nobody ever updated on this page anymore ;n; Glad you did though!

Aha thanks. I will update soon- I've just been super over Christmas :)

@Say all that you hav to say