You Can't Escape

Today is Friday. That mean’s Doctor Carpel is coming in today. Carpel, or as we like to call him dipshit, comes in once a week to talk to us about our “problems.” Everyone is separated into groups of ten to go in at scheduled times to have some form of group therapy. In my group are myself, the Fuentes brother, Aaron, and Tony as well as four other people we don’t talk too much. Also in our group was a man I didn’t recognize. He was older, and he looked crazy. You could tell that he belonged here.
We were all in the recreation room, which was closed to everyone when dipshit was here. We all gathered around dragging chairs towards the middle of the room so we could sit in a large, uncomfortable circle. Kevin escorted dipshit in. “Here you are, Doctor. If any of them give you any trouble you just let me or another worker know and we’ll take care of it.” He smiled at the doctor. Then scanned the circle looking at all of us directly with his icy eyes that made me cringe. “Very well. Thank you Kevin.” He nodded and left the room.
“Alright everyone take a seat. Since we are doing new groups this week lets first go around and tell everyone your name and briefly why you’re here. You don’t have to go into detail yet, just a quick statement.” He looked around the room at us waiting for us to say something but no one did. What does he think we were going to jump up and down with excitement? He’s so stupid. “Okay. Would you please start?” He looks at the girl to the right of him. She couldn’t have been much younger than me, but she looked terrified when he asked her to speak. “My name is Kylie, and I’m here because I killed my best friend.” Well damn that’s away to start a group chat.
He smiled at her and then looked over at Aaron who was next to her. “My name is Aaron and I am here because apparently I’m crazy. “ He brushed it off when the Doctor spoke up. “You know it’s not a bad thing to be here. You are getting help you need were all in this together.” I rolled my eyes when he said that load of shit. Mike was next but he could spit out what he was in for so Vic spoke up. “I’m Vic, Mike’s older brother and were both in here because we tried to kill ourselves.” The doctor nodded. I looked at the brothers in shock. I never knew how they got themselves in here, but I never would of expected that the energetic, loving Fuentes boys would of tried to kill themselves. I was next and dipshit looked at me knowing he was going to have a hard time. “Daniella?” He said. “That’s my name don’t wear it out!” “Oh Daniella why do you have to be so difficult. Why can’t you just talk? Were all here to help” “I don’t talk to people I don’t know that well. Never did. Never will. I guess you can say I have trust issues.” I folded my arms across my chest and slouched in my chair a little staring at him, daring him to try me again. “I’m sorry about the Daniella, but you need to learn to trust the people in here.” “Oh I trust most of the people in here. There’s just one person in particular that’s kind of sketchy to me and that’s the guy trying to solve the world’s problems.” He looked taken aback. “I’m just trying to help.” I rolled my eyes and made a disapproving noise towards him.
“Okay Tony would you please take your turn.” He said looking exhausted and I felt accomplished for the day. “Well, my name is Tony, and I am in here because, I cut.” He looked sad. I knew it was hard for him to talk about it so I put my hand on his and gave him a reassuring smile. I almost felt bad for being a smart ass when people were actually trying to get better in here, but I didn’t do anything to be in here. So I’m not going to talk about my non-existent problems. Two other people went next their reasons were your normal depression and crazy blah blah blah. Next up was the old man. He looked at the doctor with a calm expression and dipshit looked at him waiting for him to say something. The old man left out a horrid laugh that made him sound like her hasn’t had anything to drink to years. “Why you asking me my name? I’ve been here longer than you have. If you don’t know my name by now you’re crazier than I am.” “Yes but not everyone in the room knows your name. Maybe they’d like to here it?” “I highly doubt these young folk are going to care about some crazy old bastards name. They just want to get out of here and live their lives again.” The doctor was about to say something but changed his mind and asked the last person for their name and reason. “Okay great. Would anyone like to go into detail now about how they got here?” Tony raised his hand. “I’ll go.” He said and dipshit smiled and nodded at him to start. “Um, well. I grew up with my mom, and my father. Everything was great when I was younger. Then when my sister was born, I got kind of pushed to the side. Don’t get me wrong I love my little sister, but having her around made my life a little harder.” He paused for a minute. “When I got to middle school. I had lots friends and people were fairly decent to me, but I just never felt like myself. I felt like I was lying to my self.” He paused again. Staring at the floor. He took a moment. “So I changed. I felt much more comfortable after that, but then the kids at school stopped talking to me. I was ignored, left out. I was an outsider.” Tony stopped talking once again and my heart broke for him. He was a great guy and I hate that he had to go through that. I guess I could relate. Nobody at school ever talks to me either.
“The thing that I could never wrap around my head was how my clothing and the music I listen to could make so many people turn against me. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it… it wasn’t just the kids at school either my father would make fun of me. He hated my music and he would talk trash about me to the rest of the family and his friends…I was about 17 when I started cutting. It wasn’t bad it was just if I got mad or upset I would take a pair of scissors or a bent up paper clip and slide it across my skin, just leaving a scratch. No blood, just barely a mark and I was fine…but then it got worse.” Tony had tears forming in his eyes. I grabbed his hand again and squeezed it, he took his eyes off the floor long enough to look over at me and put a small smile on his tear stained face. “It really got bad when my father started drinking, he was abusive to my mother and I…the last words she ever said to me were ‘I love you mi hijo. Always stay strong and take care of your sister.’ Then the bastard killed her that night. I should of known something was off when she told me that. I could of saved her.” For the first time dipshit spoke up. “You can’t blame yourself Tony for what your father did to her. Even if you had done something he still might of killed her anyway. Not everything is in your control, and yes it was a horrible thing that happened, you have to learn to move on and not blame yourself.” Tony was trying desperately to stop crying but it wasn’t working so well. I hated seeing him like this, but what was I suppose to do. “It’s hard to not blame yourself when my father constantly told me that I was the reason she died. He told me I was a disgrace to the family and that I was nothing but a worthless emo.” Tony said barely audible. “Where is your father now Tony. Did they ever arrest him?” Tony shook his head. “After my mom died from falling in the kitchen and breaking her head open on the corner of the counter.” He put air quotes around falling. “He didn’t live long enough for the police to figure it out.” “What happened to your father Tony?” We all looked at him with widened eyes. Tony put his head in his hands and shook his head. “Tony what happen?” Carpel asked again. “No.” Tony said sternly. “Tony. Tell us what happened you can’t keep this bottled up.” Carpel said raising his voice. I put my arm around Tony trying to calm him a little “He doesn’t want to talk about it!” I yelled at dipshit. “Stay out of it Daniella, he needs to!” He yelled at me. “No he doesn’t! Not right now!” Tony yelled out. “Fine! I killed him. I killed the fucking asshole!” I took my arm off him and sat back and stared at him in shock. I couldn’t even look around to see if I was the only one that was surprised. Tony sniffled. “He went after my sister, and I was protecting her. The police had been called. She called them. I got her out of the room, and she called them…they couldn’t get there fast enough and then he tried to kill me. He had me pinned to the floor, had a knife in the air above me and he looked at me with pure disgust. He said to me that he was sending my emo faggot ass to hell…and at that moment I was ready to die. I didn’t want to live anymore. I knew my time was up and I felt like a worthless piece of shit anyway.” He pauses. “Then my sister, my 13 year old sister ran in the kitchen and shoved my father off of me. At that point something just told me to get up and fight. I realized that this little girl needed me and I had to get both of us out of the mess we were in. So I stood up and grabbed the knife. He came up to me and laughed in my face, said what are you going to do stab me? He had grabbed my shirt and was pulling at it so that our faces were about an inch away from each other. Then he told me that I didn’t have the guts to kill him and that I wasn’t going to amount to anything in life. He said I wasn’t a hero; I was a failure and was always going to be one. He lifted his fist in the air ready to punch me but I was faster than him. The police ruled it was self-defense and my sister and I moved in with our grandparents on our mom’s side.” The doctor smiled a bit. “Now see Tony doesn’t that make you feel better letting that out.” Tony didn’t say anything.
“What brought you here?” He asked after a moment. “I was still self harming and it had gotten really bad. My sister looks up to me and I need to prove to her that I can get better and that no matter how bad things are everything gets better…so I checked myself in…I’m doing this for her, and for my mom. I’m staying strong.” The doctor smiled. “Does anyone want to say anything to Tony?” Nobody said anything. “Okay this group is out of time today but next week we will be starting off with someone else so think about want you want to say and we’ll go from there. Thank you Tony for sharing and I hope the rest of you will follow in his steps” He looked at me when he said that. I once again rolled my eyes at him.
We got up and started leaving the room. I followed Tony out and when we were in the hallway away from anyone else I grabbed his arm. He turned around and I pulled him into a hug. He cried into my shoulder for a little while until we pulled apart. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” I told him. “Don’t be, but Thank you for being there for me.” “Your welcome. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.” He nodded. “Same. I know you have problems with your Dad and you have your little brother and sister, I guess were in similar situations.” I breathed out heavily. “Yeah I guess we are.” We hugged again and then went our separate ways.

Notes

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