I huffed as I unpacked yet another box of band merchandise. Ever since Camila gave me a job at Hot Topic, all I’ve done was unpack things. It was an interesting change in lifestyle. I didn’t mind it all that much, but I missed singing on stage with the rest of my band. From what I’ve heard on social media, they were doing pretty good.
I had barely been on my Twitter account lately, mostly because every time I seemed to go on, I would be bombarded with tweets asking where I was and what I was doing. Heck, I was even scared to check my phone. Brian had called me at least sixty times in the week that I’ve been gone and Alex had called even more than that. I swore to myself after listening to his first voicemail that I wouldn’t listen to another. I broke down in tears just hearing how broken he felt. I wanted to get back to him, but at the same time, if I did things would be different. The last thing I want is for Alex to get hate for dating a girl whose nudes were all over the internet. Plus, he’d get even more hate for what was going to happen with me.
“Hey, Kay!”
“Yeah, Camila?” I asked the feisty hispanic girl in front of me.
“Look good tomorrow. There’s going to be a band signing,” she grinned.
“What band?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she teased.
“Ugh. Whatever. I’m heading home,” I sighed.
“Alright. See you tomorrow.”
“See ya.”
I walked the two blocks to my apartment and I flopped down on my box spring mattress. I stared mindlessly at the ceiling and waited for unconsciousness to take over.

---

I walked into work from the side entrance, wearing my favourite Falling In Reverse t-shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. I had pulled my now natural blonde hair into a high ponytail. I didn’t bother wearing a sweater to hide my scars because most of the people who entered the store had them too.
“Kay! You’re here just in time! I need you to manage the line,” Camila told me.
“What li- ohhh,” I said, seeing the line of at least a hundred kids outside of the store.
“That was my reaction. Just make sure that none of them pull any crap with the band. I’ll be in the back, I have a new order of band merch that needs to be accounted for,” she sighed, leaving me to manage a mass of teens.
I walked to the middle of the store where a long table had been set up. I noticed five very familiar faces sitting there. Falling in Reverse.
“Hello. My names, Kayla. I’m going to be in charge of this thing apparently. Is it okay if I start letting the fans in one at a time?” I asked Ronnie.
“Yeah. That’ll be fine. Do...do I know you by any chance?” he asked me.
“No. I think I’d remember meeting you,” I lied.
“Oh.”
I gave him a small smile and walked out to the entrance.
“Okay!” I shouted to the line of people, “I’m going to let you in ONE at a time. You are allowed to take ONE picture with the band and you’re allowed to get TWO things signed. You don’t have unlimited time with them because there are so many of you. Try to limit your time to three minutes.”
I took a deep breath and looked to the first person in line- a girl around fourteen with big, brown eyes and black hair.
“Alright, sweetheart, go on in,” I smiled.
She thanked me a scuttled into the store.
I repeated a similar routine for the next two hours. It was tiring work and a few times I had to pry some band sluts away from the guys.
The last person had left the store and leaned my back against a wall.
“You look wiped,” Ryan said.
“It’s tough dealing with your fangirls,” I laughed.
“Sorry. Hey, are you sure we don’t know you?” he asked.
“Positive. I don’t live your type of lifestyle.”
“Well, I suppo-wait a second...Kayla...Kay?”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” I said, swallowing hard.
“Cut the crap. I know it’s you. Everybody’s been wondering where you went. What exactly happened?”
“Let’s see. My nudes leaked, Brian found out about Alex and I, oh, and I was being insulted by a bajillion fangirls. I needed to leave. I didn’t think I’d run into you guys.”
“We’re doing Warped at Blossom tomorrow. You should come,” Ryan said.
“That wouldn’t be a good idea. I haven’t talked with Alex or Brian for a week and I left on pretty bad footing with them.”
“Oh, are you and Alex not together anymore?”
“No,” I said, a blush rising to my cheeks, “Like I said, I left on bad footing.”
“Well, you don’t look much like your old self, I highly doubt that they would notice you. Come on, please. It would mean a lot to me if you were to come see the Falling in Reverse set.”
“You really want me to go, don’t you?”
“Yeah…”
“Why?”
“Oh, um, because…,” he stuttered, “Okay, here it goes...Kay, I really like you. When I say like, I mean really really like. I sorta had a crush on you since we first met. I got a bit jealous when I found out you had slept with Alex and it made me realized how much I wanted to be with you. So, now that Alex is no longer in the picture, I just wanted to know if you would like to go out with me?”
I bit my lips and tears welled in my eyes.
“You don’t like me do you?” he asked, heartbroken.
“No, Ryan, it’s not that. It’s just that I can’t be with you.”
“Why not?”
“I only found out a few days ago, but...I’m pregnant.”
“You-you’re what? How? With who?”
“I’m pregnant. As for the how bit, I didn’t think I would need to chat with you about how the birds and the bees worked.”
“Sorry. That was a really stupid question, but still...who’s the dad?”
“Alex is.”
“Have you told him?”
“God no! He probably really hates me right now. Plus, what would everyone think when the girl Alex slept with, whose nudes were leaked, ended up pregnant? So many would think I was a slut or whore or I that I was only using Alex to get my band popular. He can’t know.”
“Who else have you told?”
“No one. I’ve only told you,” I whispered.
“Kay, just so you know, you being pregnant doesn’t really change much for me. I still want to be with you regardless of whether you’re pregnant or not. I’m still here for you.”
“Are you serious?” I asked.
“One-hundred percent.”
I mulled over his proposal in my head and was so torn.
“You know what? I think...I think I’d like to take you up on your offer,” I smiled.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“You...um...you can meet me at the bus at eleven. I can’t wait to see you there,” he beamed.
He planted a light kiss on my lips and a felt a small spark. It wasn’t as big of a spark as I got from kissing Alex, but it was a spark, and that was all that really mattered.

Notes