Austin kissed me. Austin fucking Carlile kissed me. He kissed me, me ... Alan the faggot freak. Does it mean that he likes me ? No... There's no way in Hell he's got some kinds of feelings towards me. I'm not good enough for him anyway. I sighed as I dragged myself out of bed . I'm hanging out with Justin today. I missed his silly face and his stupid jokes. He's been pretty distant lately, I have no idea why.


*********************************************************************************************************


" Fuck you ! and fuck this game ! "

Justin and I have been playing video games for the past hours and of course I'm winning

" Don't take the piss, Trotta. I'm just better than you" I smirked as I punched his arm playfully
" Yeah, whatever" he mumbled , sounding pissed
I scooted closer to him and pulled him into a bear hug

" I missed you" I whispered into the crook of his neck
" I missed you too "
" Then why have you been so distant lately ? Have I done something wrong ? " I asked as he pulled away from our embrace
" You don't need me anymore, you have Austin now "

I frowned. What is he talking about, of course I need him. Justin is not just a friend to me, I love him to pieces, he's like a brother to me. I own him everything.

" Don't say that ever again " I grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him slightly
" I fucking need you, Justin. You hear me ? " I put two fingers under his chin, making him look at me " You hear me ? I need you"

This is when he totally lose it. He burst out crying. The sight being so vulnerable broke my heart

" Ssh... Everything's gonna be okay. I promise. " I murmured in attempt to sooth him
" I'm so s-s-scared. " he managed to get out between his sobs
" I don't w-want to lose you"
" I will never let you go " I hugged him again and kissed the top of his head.
I rubbed circles on his back, whispering sweet nothings into his ear until he finally calms down

" Justin talk to me, please. What's wrong ? " He took a deep shaky breath before explaining himself

" I'm just... yeah.. I'm scared of losing you. Since Austin showed up, you've been ignoring me."
" I'm so sorry about that, I've never noticed ..."
" Of course you haven't, you don't care enough about me to notice anything " He spat at me bitterly before leaving alone with thousands of unanswered questions fuzzing in my head

Notes

This is the worse chapter I've ever written.. sorry about that :c