Forever Eternal

I woke up with a throbbing sensation in my head. I inwardly groaned as my eyes opened and were abused by bright light. I turned over in the bunk to come face to face with a sleeping Alex. I ignored the intense headache as my eyes bulged out of their sockets. I looked down at myself and nearly screamed. The only thing covering me up was a thin blanket.

I quietly rummaged around in the bunk to find my clothes. I managed to find them and squirm into them without waking Alex. I took one last glance at his sleeping figure and got out of the bunk. I tip-toed out into the lounge and a shriek caught in my throat as I saw Jack sitting on the couch, eating a bowl off Cookie Crisps.

“Woah. What are you doing here?” Jack asked, his mouth full of cereal.

“Don’t ask. I’m leaving anyways,” I mumbled as I hurried off of the bus.

I hissed as my bare feet touched the hot asphalt and my immediate thought was to go back to the bus for my shoes, but I didn’t. I was terrified to go back on the bus where a prying Jack Barakat was just dying to get the scoop about what happened last night.
I scrunched my eyes closed for a minute to sooth my killer headache, but to also try to wrap my head around what events transpired last night. I remember going out with Alex for drinks and getting shit-faced drunk, but after that things turned blurry. I didn’t really have much of an issue piecing together the clues, though. I woke up to Alex naked, and from what I saw, he didn’t have anything on himself.

“Way to be a fucking slut, Kay,” I growled to myself.

I found my was back to my bus and got on as silently as possible, hoping that no one was up.

“Where have you been?” Cloe asked from the couch.

I swear I have the worst possible luck.

“I was out,” I muttered.

“I can tell. Same clothes as yesterday and messy hair….OH MY GOD DID YOU FINALLY LOSE YOUR V-CARD?!” she squealed.

“Ow….I’m hungover, can you please quiet down?” I moaned.

“Oh….sorry….So, who was it?” she asked.

“What the hell was with the screaming?” Derek groaned as he walked into the lounge, followed by a sleep-deprived-looking Drew and Ben.

“Kay lost her virginity,” Cleo smirked.

“What?” Ben choked out.

“Are you fucking serious?” Drew laughed.

“Yes, I had sex. It’s no big deal…can we please drop it?” I mumbled.

“You gotta at least tell us who it was with,” Ben said.

“Alex Gaskarth,” I whispered.

“Gaskarth? I thought you hated his guts!” Derek said.

“I was drunk, okay? Cut me some slack.”

“Was he good?” Drew asked.

“I don’t know, like I said, I was drunk,” I muttered.

“Of course he was good, just look at her. She has that after-sex glow to her,” Cleo said.

I blushed and attempted to hide my face behind my hair.

“So, are you going to date?” Cleo asked.

“I don’t know….”

“Come on, Kay, give him a chance. From what I’ve seen he’s a pretty nice guy.”

“I’ll discuss it with him later, okay?”

“You have to spill all the details to me. Promise?” she said, offering me her pinkie finger.

“Promise,” I grinned, hooking my pinkie around hers.
*******************************************************
Alex’s P.O.V.

I grunted as I opened my eyes. I felt like someone was pounding a hammer on the inside of my skull. I immediately reached for the bottle of Ibuprofen that I kept in my bunk and swallowed two pills. I tore the sheets off of me and noticed that I wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. My eyes landed on a used condom by the foot of the bunk. My heart stopped and a feeling of ‘I-fucked-up’ washed over me.

I pulled on a pair of jeans, not even bothering with underwear, and crawled out of my bunk.

I grabbed a Monster from the fridge and took a sip before I noticed Jack munching on his everyday cereal.

“Morning,” I said.

“Morning. Hey, do you know why Kay was on the bus?” he asked.

“Shit!” I cursed out loud, the entirety of last night coming back to me.

“Dude…you didn’t, did you?” Jack asked.

“I think so,” I groaned, flopping down on the couch.

“Why? How? I thought you two hated each other.”

“I did….”

“Did, meaning past tense? What changed?”

“You have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?” I told him.

“Alright,” he agreed, eying me suspiciously.

“When I went over to her bus yesterday to apologize, I found her in the bathroom. She was cutting herself-a lot. I always thought she was this tough-as-nails chick with an anger issue. I didn’t realize that she…that she-“

“That she was what? Depressed? Hurting? Vulnerable?”

“All of those, I guess. I felt really bad and she made me promise not to tell anyone, a promise that I’m breaking right now. Anyway, I offered to take her out for drinks and we went after our set ended. I guess I got a little too drunk…”

“No dip. What are you going to say to Kay? Hell, what are you going to tell Lisa?”

“I have no fucking clue, man. A breakup with Lisa was kind of inevitable, but I didn’t want it to happen like this. I’ve already cheated on her before.”

“Do you even like Kay?”

“I don’t know. She makes me so pissed off sometimes because she’s so stubborn and never seems to laugh at anything. At the same time, she’s really independent, talented and she can be really sweet.”

“When have you seen her being sweet?” Jack asked.

“When she visited while The Summer Set and us were on tour, I went outside for a breather and saw her talking to this teenage girl. She was crying and Kay gave her a hug and whispered something to her. I don’t know, I thought it was kind of sweet.”

“Okay…so you obviously like her, but you’re still going to have to tell her that you have a girlfriend. She’s not going to take it very well.”

“I know. I’ll tell her after her set, I guess,” I sighed.

“You my friend,” Jack said, patting me on the back, “have really screwed up.”

“Don’t I know it…”
********************************************************
I smiled as I watched Kay performing on stage. I had never heard her sing before, but damn did she have a voice. She was getting so lost in the music and I wished I was there getting lost with her.

“Thank you guys so much for coming out and supporting us. We love you all,” Kay said to the audience.

The crowd cheered and Forever Eternal left the stage.

I walked around to the back and saw Kay wearing a long sleeved, black dress with a tutu like bottom with blood-red fishnets and a pair of black combat boots. I never used to understand why she dressed like she did, but now I could understand and I wished I didn’t.

“Alex!” Kay beamed as she spotted me.

I flashed a smile her way and she came up to me, hugging me around my waist.

“Hey,” she smiled, leaning and planting a small kiss on my lips.

“Hey, Kay, there’s something I need to tell you,” I sighed.

“What?” she asked, confusion clouding her crystal blue eyes.

“About last night….”

“I wasn’t good, was I?” she whispered.

“What?” I asked, shocked.

“You didn’t like it. I’m sorry, that was my first time…and I kinda didn’t know exactly what to do,” she apologized.

She was a virgin. Was. I took her virginity from her.

‘Way to go, Alex, you are now a grade-A level douchebag,’ I thought to myself.

“You were great! It’s not that at all! I swear! It’s just that…I was drunk and I do like you, Kay, but I should’ve told you that I have a girlfriend.”

“What?”
**********************************************************************
Kay’s P.O.V.

“What?” I choked.

“I should have told you, I’m so sorry,” he apologized.

Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I looked up at him before I blew up.

“I should’ve realized you were the douchebag I thought you were! Is it fun for you to be a dick? Huh? I told you one of my darkest secrets and you go and do this to me? I hate you!” I cried.

Alex reached out to touch me, but I slapped his hand away.

“Stay away from me,” I growled.

I turned on my heels and ran back to my bus.

I was so stupid. I should’ve known that this would’ve happened to me. I should’ve known that I was going to be used. I could feel a wave of depression getting ready to crash down on me harder than it had it a long time.

I locked myself in the back lounge and found the razor I had taped under the table. I began marring my flesh, making deeper cuts than I had ever made before. The room began to spin, but I ignored it and continued with my destructive activity. Black spots appeared in my very faulty vision and the spots turned into blotches, and then my sight and consciousness went completely black.

Notes