Forever Eternal

I My phone went off and I cringed as ‘Save Me’ by Queen blasted into my ears. “Ugh…Who is it?” I groaned into my phone. “It’s Alex. Did I wake you?” “If you waited about thirty more seconds you would have, but it’s okay. What’s up?” “I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out on an actual date tonight.” “I’d really love to, Alex, but Brian won’t let me go out. If he even heard that I was out with you, he would kill you,” I sighed as I rolled over in the bunk. “Tell him you’re going to go hang out with Cloe. I’m sure he’d believe that.” “Alright, I’ll see what I can do. Where are we planning to go anyway?” “It’s a surprise,” he chuckled. “Alright. I’ll meet you outside of my bus in an hour, okay?” “Okay. I can’t wait.” I hung up and walked into the lounge where Brian was practicing ‘When We Were Young’ with John. “Hey, Brian. I was wondering if Cloe and I could hang out tonight.” “Alright, but you have to be back before eleven. Deal?” he sighed. “Deal. I’m just gonna go change.” I headed into the bathroom after grabbing some clothes. I changed into a black baby doll dress with a red skull pattern, threw on a pair of black tights, a red sweater and my black ankle boots. I freshened up my makeup and ran my fingers through my hair. “Where are you going dressed like that?” John asked as I walked past him. “Cleo said she was going to maybe have Justin Hills, Chris Motionless, and Allan Ashby over. I’m trying to get over the whole Alex thing, so…” “You’re moving a bit fast, don’t you think?” “No, I don’t. I’ll see you later,” I snapped. I stepped off the bus and snuck over to my bus. Cleo was hanging outside with Kellin and Alex, and she looked slightly confused. “I tried to tell him to leave, but he said that you told him to meet you here,” Cleo said. “I did. If Brian asks, just tell him I was with you tonight.” “Wait-what?!” “We’re going out for dinner, we’ll be back before eleven-promise,” Alex reassured. “You two better realize how pissed Brian will be if he finds out.” “Just please don’t tell!” I begged her. “You know I won’t, but I still don’t think you’re making a good decision here.” “I can’t just continue to let Brian rule my life. I know he feels the need to be overprotective right now, but I just want to live my life.” “Whatever. Go have fun,” she sighed. “Thank you,” I smiled. Alex grabbed my hand and we strolled out of the venue. “You know, I’ve never actually been in Houston before,” I told Alex as my eyes scanned the night lights. “Really?” “Really. I’ve done some traveling before, but not a lot. I stayed home most of the time.” “Well, it’s a good thing you’re on Warped then, huh?” “I suppose so. It’s weird, though, too.” “How so?” “I don’t know. I get up on stage and all of these people are looking up to me as their role model. You look at people like Vic or Andy Biersack and everyone knows just about everything about their lives. It’s kind of inevitable for that to happen when you have that much fame, but I don’t want that at all. I don’t want any of my fans looking at me and realizing I’m not someone to look up to.” We both stopped the discussion momentarily as we reached a food stand. Alex ordered a cheeseburger and I bought a Diet Coke and a small bag of chips. We found a bench and sat down on it and began to munch on our food. “Why do you think you aren’t someone to look up to?” Alex asked after swallowing a bite of his burger. “Because I do a lot of stupid crap,” I answered vaguely. “You’ll get over the cutting. Vic did, so can you.” I looked guiltily down at my half eaten bag of chips. If only he knew how screwed up I was. “I suppose. You know, you know a lot about me, but I hardly know anything about you,” I said, changing the subject. “What do you want to know? I’m an open book.” “I don’t know. Normal things I guess. Any siblings? Where are you from? Things like that.” “I have a few step-siblings, I had a step-brother who was closer to my age, but he passed away years ago. I was born in England, but moved to Baltimore when I was seven…and I…uh…have panic attacks sometimes.” I blinked a few times in response. “See, you’re not the only one with problems. We all have them, we just need to learn how to deal with them.” “You’re amazing, you know that,” I sighed. “Really? I’m flattered,” he chuckled. My heart fluttered in my chest as I listened to his laugh. It was so natural and real. I stared at him, perhaps a bit too long. “You’re looking at me funny,” he said, amusement cloaking his voice. “Was I? Sorry…” “It’s fine. What were you thinking about?” “Your laugh. I wish I had one like it,” I said. “I’m sure your laugh is adorable,” he smiled. “I don’t know to be honest. I can’t remember the last time a really laughed,” I reflected. “I can fix that,” Alex grinned mischievously. Before I could react, Alex’s fingers were tickling my sides. “Alex! Stop….I…can’t breathe!” I sputtered out in between fits of laughter. He finally stopped and I took the chance to gather my breath. “See,” he said as I looked up at him, “adorable.” My heart sped up as I stared into his warm, brown eyes. I felt, rather than observed, myself getting closer to him. “Maybe we should-“ I whispered, but before I could finish my thought, his lips placed themselves on mine. I straddled his waist and tangled my fingers in his hair. His hands settled on my waist and pulled me closer to him. I felt that yearning feeling build in my stomach and wished we had our own private area, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. I pulled myself away from him and breathed in deeply. I looked down at Alex and smiled at him. “I love your smile,” Alex whispered. I blushed and nuzzled into Alex’s neck. His fingers twirled my hair absentmindedly and I basked in how right it felt. “I suppose we should be heading back,” he sighed. “What if I don’t want to?” I asked. “We could stay here, but then your brother would kill me.” “You’re probably right. I just want to be able to spend some alone time with you.” “We will, but we have to wait until your brother doesn’t hate my guts.” “It’s not fair, though. It wasn’t your fault,” I muttered. “It sort of was. I took your virginity and I barely even remember that night.” “Well I don’t really remember it either. I like to think that I’m able to have a clean slate. In my mind I still have my virginity and that’s what matters.” “I hope that I’m still going to be the one you give it to,” Alex mumbled. “I hope so too,” I smiled, getting off of him and stretching. I checked my phone and noticed that I had five texts. Cleo: Where are you?! Brian: It’s eleven. Get back now! Cleo: Brian’s freaking out! Finish whatever the hell you’re doing! Cleo: Brian’s came over and he knows you’re not with me. Cleo: I didn’t tell him anything, but get back quick. “Shit! Alex, we have to get back!” “What? Why?” “It’s past eleven and Brian knows I’m not with Cleo.” “Alright. I’ll walk you back to the venue, but we’ll enter at different times. Jack was going to party tonight, so just say that you were with him and I’ll fill him in, okay?” “Okay.” We hurried back to the venue and once we reached the parking lot I gave Alex a quick peck on the lips. “And that’s supposed to hold me over?” he laughed. “It’ll have to. See you tomorrow?” “I hope so.” I nodded and ran back to Brian’s bus. “Where have you been?” Brian yelled as I got onto the bus. “I went out with Jack-not in that way. We just went out of the venue. I’ve never been to Houston before and I wanted to see the city. I’m sorry I’m late, I just got distracted.” I could see in Brian’s eyes that he wasn’t sure whether or not he believed me, but that was better than him knowing I was lying. “Fine. Just go to bed.” “Good night, Brian,” I said. “G’night.” I crawled into the bunk Jess and I shared, and checked my phone. I had a text from Alex. Alex: Is everything okay? Me: Everythings fine. He thinks I explored Houston with Jack. Alex: Good. You should probably get to sleep. Good night, angel. I couldn’t help but to smile reading his last text. I’ve been called a lot of things, but an angel was never one of them. Maybe that among other things would start to change.

Notes