Forever Eternal

“All of it,” I told him.

“Oh…um…”

He fussed with his hair and his eyes darted to the ground.

“Alex, what are you doing here?” I asked.

“I wanted to see how you were doing. You scared everyone half to death, you know. You didn’t see how broken your brother looked after I had to tell him that you tried killing yourself. Do you get a kick out of making people hurt? Hell, you should have seen Cloe! Did you have any idea how difficult it was for me to watch you slowly dying?!”

I sunk back into my bed, trying to block out his words.

“Oh, so you’re saying this is all my fault?” I spat.

“No, but you need to take some responsibility! I understand that I was a douchebag, but that isn’t a good enough reason for you to kill yourself!”

“I didn’t mean for it to get that far…” I muttered, looking down at my lap.

“What?”

“I just wanted to cut. I know it’s not a good way for me to deal with problems, but that’s what I did. I went deeper than usual and…I guess I got carried away. I didn’t mean to scare you guys. I’m sorry.”

“I know, but you need to stop cutting. It’s not doing you any good and it’s scaring the rest of us.”

“I can’t make any promises, though.”

“I understand, but please just try,” Alex said, placing his palm on my cheek.

I pulled my face away from his touch.

“I can’t,” I sighed.

“But, Lisa and I-“

“Are done. I know that, but from what I’ve heard, you’ve cheated on Lisa before. You loved her, and you think you love me. I don’t want to be the next Lisa, Alex. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Plus, my brother would kill you if he even saw you here. I think it would be best if you left me alone.”

“But, Kay-“

“Leave,” I croaked, “I don’t want you around me anymore.”

Alex had a pleading look in his eyes, but I didn’t waver. He slowly got up from the chair and left the room.

“Brian, I’m fine. I promise,” I lied.

“The hell you are! You tried taking your life today! I’m not letting you out of my sight. You’ll be bunking with Jess.”

I groaned as Brian left me to gather my stuff. As soon as I was packed up, I carried my two bags off of the bus and began walking over to Brian’s bus.

“Kay! Wait up!” someone called from behind me.

I whipped my head around and saw Ryan running towards me. I stood patiently until he reached me, a bit sweaty and out of breath.

“Hey, Ryan. What’s up?” I asked, but already knowing what he was going to bring up.

“I heard that you were at the hospital. Were you?”

“I was,” I mumbled, looking down.

“I also heard that you…um…tried killing yourself.”

“That’s not really true,” I said, watching as a look of relief passed over his face, “but I did almost die.”

“What happened?” he asked.

I rolled up my sleeves to show him my bandaged arms.

“I went a little overboard, I guess,” I smiled, sadly.

Ryan enveloped me in a hug.

“If you ever need to talk, Kay, you can come to me. I’m here for you,” he whispered in my ear.

“Thanks Ryan,” I said, pulling away from the hug, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

I pecked him on the cheek and walked away.

“Kay, get up! You’re set is in an hour!” Jess said, shaking me awake.

I scrambled out of bed and quickly changed into a long sleeved, black shirt, a purple and black checked skirt, black knee-high socks and my purple high-top converse. I applied a thick layer of eyeliner and darted off of the bus.

“Where the hell have you been?” Cleo asked.

“Slee-eeping,” I panted.

“Well you better catch your breath, we’re on in ten minutes.”

I smiled appreciatively at Cleo. The rest of the band was eyeing me nervously, but she acted as if nothing had changed. I could always count on her to make me feel better.

I grabbed one of the water bottles from back stage and sipped from it slowly. Adrenaline was pumping through me, and for once I was excited about performing.

“Alright, you’re on,” Kenny said.

We headed on stage and were greeted by one of the biggest crowds we had ever had. There was easily past five hundred people, and for a baby band like Forever Eternal, that was pretty damn good.

“Hey everyone! We’re Forever Eternal!” I smiled.

The crowd screamed back at us. This was going to be kick-ass, I could feel it.

My hand was cramping like hell after the band signing. So many kids had come to congratulate us on a great set. It was amazing to meet so many fans and it was so surreal to see them wearing our band merch.

I smiled about this as I meandered back to the bus. I was walking past some stage that a band was performing on, but I wasn’t paying much attention.

“Yo, dude! It’s Kay!” someone said.

The voice sounded way too familiar and loud, louder than natural.

I looked up at the stage and noticed the boys of All Time Low.

“Well, shit,” I muttered.

“Guys, would you mind bringing her up here?” Alex asked.

I was surrounded by fans and some asshole thought it would be cool to lift me up to be crowd surfed to the barricade. I tried keeping my legs close together, but I’m pretty sure that a whole bunch of people caught glances at my blue laced underwear.

The security guards lifted me over the barricade and onto the stage. I glared a bit at Alex, who seemed to have a huge smirk on his face.

Alex turned to the fans and said, “Well, I was originally going to do this song by myself, but since Kay seemed to wander by, what do you guys think about her singing ‘Remembering Sunday’ with me?”

The crowd roared and nervous bubbles formed in my stomach. I knew the song, it was the only All Time Low song that I listened to. Still, I had never sang the song in front of people before.

I looked at Alex and mouthed ‘I so hate you right now.’

He just smirked more and grabbed his acoustic guitar and began to strum.

I listened intently to how much emotion he put into the song. He would glance up at me every once in a while and his message was clear: this song is for us.

I cleared my voice before singing and was surprised at how naturally the notes seemed to come out. I sang with as much emotion as I could muster and looked at Alex, who was now singing with a million dollar smile on his face.

The crowd cheered and eventually left as the boys filed off the stage.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you,” I laughed as Alex and I flopped down under the shade of a tree.

“Yeah, I did. I wanted to convince you that I’m determined to win you over. I really do love you, Kay.”

“I love you too, Alex. That’s why I’m scared.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re the first guy that I’ve really liked that has actually seen me at my lowest of lows and didn’t run away. I’m also scared because you’re this huge rock star with girls throwing themselves at you all the time. With your history with Lisa, I’m scared that you’ll cheat on me with some girl that throws herself at you.”

“That won’t happen, I promise,” he reassured, placing his hand on mine.

“I think I trust you,” I whispered, and with that, I pressed my lips to his.

Notes