Leaving the cave, going into the unknown

“One Month Later”

I have come to realize what has come of my life recently, as there was a sleeping baby on my chest and grown man cuddled up to my left side. They were both dead asleep after our busy day, I looked down at my now sleeping husband and ran my newly ringed figures threw his hair. We decided to skip the traditional wedding and elope. There was a small ceremony with just our closest friends and family, it was all very last minute but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

We came to realize after Tom and Kate’s wedding that the big flashy thing wasn’t for us and we didn’t want to start off our lives together that way. We wanted to do something spontaneous as it truly defined our relationship.

I really couldn’t believe where I was in my life, if you would have told 13 year old me that I would have had a baby and gotten married by now I would have ran off and hid in a corner. But now that I was living it I wouldn’t have it any other way. As dizzy as all this thinking had me I knew I had to get some rest, tomorrow was our ‘day of adventure’ as Alan called it. Instead of a honeymoon he wanted the two of us to go on a weekend road trip without any plans. Dee was going to stay with Austin and Val, ever since we told her she has been bouncing off the walls with excitement. To her staying there meant no set bedtime and 24hr attention which I was fine with as long as it was only for a couple of days. I wasn’t nervous about leaving her alone anymore, I still missed her like crazy but I had decided to go on medication for my anxiety as it had only spiked more and more as the days went on. Alan was a little nervous about me taking pills but once I was regulated he was happy to see the change in my personality.

I eventually thought myself into a deep sleep that could only be awakened by soft sleepy kisses all around my face from either side. I opened my eyes to see my two-favorite people showering me with love.

“Morning wife.” Alan mumbled into my ear, it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard.

“Good morning husband.” I gave him a slow kiss on the lips that I savored til the last touch.

“Mama mama” Dee mumbled and lightly hit my chest in order to get my attention.

“And good morning to you too munchkin!” She laughed as Alan and I tickled her then kissed her all over.

“Are you excited?” Alan asked me as he started to roll out of bed.

“Ya but I’m also nervous you know how much I hate leaving Dee, even if it is with Austin and Val.” Dee was now latching herself around me like she knew we were leaving her behind on our little adventure.

“She’ll be fine and we’re not going away for that long just the weekend, that’s two nights.” Alan was getting dressed but I honestly didn’t want to move. I was starting to feel homesick and we still hadn’t even left home.

Eventually I did get up after Dee started getting fussy which meant it was time for breakfast. Alan made me my usual while he started up the coffee machine for himself. Just as I finished feeding Dee we heard the door open and two sets of footsteps headed our way.

“Good morning everyone!” Austin rang out far too chipper for the morning.

“You guys are early.” Alan said while he stared to clean up the remains of breakfast.

“Ya well this one wouldn’t shut up about babysitting Dee and kept bugging me to go see her all morning. I finally caved cause I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Val signed as she sat down beside me at our dinning room table.

Austin grabbed Dee and sat down with us, she was so sweet on him cuddling up and relaxing in his arms. The relationship they had made me feel safe leaving her at home, after all the crazy shit that’s gone on it was a relief to know there was someone I could trust with something so precious to me.

“So where are you guys going?” Val inquired.

“We’re going to just head north and hope for the best than turn around and come back in a circle.” Alan chipped; he finished with the dishes then picked me up to sit on his lap tracing circles on my hip where my t-shirt had ridden up from the movement.

“He won’t let me bring a map, what if we get lost? Or we run out of gas and they need to know where we are to pick us up?” I questioned Alan. He just giggled and rested his head on my shoulder.

“You do know we have cell phones right? With a GPS? If we really get that lost I’ll just turn it on but other than that it will be in the glove compartment.” He said lazily, like he sounds right before he falls asleep.

Sometimes I feel like we’re so old when really I’m going to be 23 next month. It’s like we skipped through all the awkward parts and settled right into the old married couple stage. We certainly didn’t look old but now that Dee was growing right before my eyes it was hard to believe that I wasn’t at least 30.

Soon enough it was time for us to leave, all our bags were in the trunk and all of Dee’s stuff was in Val and Austin’s car. I knew it was only for a weekend but it felt like we were going for a month, being away from her felt longer than it was. When your world revolves around one thing constantly you get used to things and without it your life feels like it’s missing something. She was my world for her whole life, and what felt like my whole life. I couldn’t wait til I got older and couldn’t freshly remember a time without hearing her little good morning giggles or goodnight sighs.

I gave her a big hug and kiss as did Alan, I’m not sure she knew that we were leaving her for a bit but I was going to keep her smile with me until we got back. Seeing the car drive off was hard but knowing who was taking care of her took the weight right off my shoulders. As I stood in the driveway looking around the neighborhood I felt two arms wrap around my waste and someone gently kiss my neck.

“Just me and you now” Alan whispered in my ear. I smiled and leaned back into him.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked. He nodded and went back to lock the door.

I hopped in the passenger seat of the car and waited until he returned. Soon enough he was in the drivers seat and we were off on our first adventure.

“Do you think we’ll get lost, cause I’m pretty sure we will. Especially with you driving.” I joked while I entwined my figures with his free hand. I brought them up to my mouth and gave them a long lasting kiss.

“As long as I’m with you, I could be lost forever and not care.”

I just smiled and looked out the window, excited to see where my life would take me next.


The End

Notes

There it is, the final chapter
Sorry it took so long for me to write it and get it out there
Thank you to everyone who stuck around to get to this point

I started this story a while ago when i was at a pretty low point, i didn't have a job or really anything to do. My friends were all busy and my depression and anxiety were at an all time high. Thank you to everyone who has said kind words to me along this journey.

If i ever get around to it i'll write a little epilogue

Thank you again I love you all!