Leaving the cave, going into the unknown

When Alan pulled up outside the restaurant I was sitting on the curb crying with my mascara running down my face. He saw my state and ran out of the car with it still on and came to my side.

“Alex what happened?” He helped me up and to the car, when I looked in the backseat to see a sleeping Dee and smiled. Seeing here always made me feel better no matter what the situation.

“Kate’s friends were making comments about me like usual and I tried to ignore it but they just kept building up. Bridgett brought up that you two had slept together…” Alan snapped his head towards me.

“That was forever ago I would never cheat on you, you know that right?” I put my hand on his arm to calm him down.

“I know it’s fine she said it was years ago and I don’t care about that, she said that Dee must have been a mistake because there was no way you would have had kids willingly. Like I tricked you into it or something and I just snapped and started yelling. I felt so bad because I wrecked it for Kate, this was her night and I had to go and be all sensitive.” I started crying even harder as we pulled up into our driveway, my crying must have woken up Dee because she was now mumbling from the back. When I turned around with a tear stained face she gave me a sad and confused pout, I reached back and picked her up to snuggled her. When I pulled back she now had a smile on her face and started to play with my hair.

“She wouldn’t stop looking at the door all night waiting for you to come back. She kept saying mama but I didn’t want to call you and disturb your night. Eventually she tired herself out enough to fall asleep but just know when people get you down we’ll be here to pick you up, always.” I put my hand on his check and smiled.

“Let’s go inside okay? I just want to sleep this night off.” I said to Alan, he nodded and we got out of the car. I looked down to see Dee had fallen asleep in my arms. We got straight into bed with Dee in the middle of us, it was one of the best nights sleeps I’ve had in a while.


When I woke up the next morning I was alone and my phone was ringing on the bedside table. I looked at the number to see it was Kate; I contemplated before deciding that I should answer it.

“Hello?” I sleepily answered it.


“Alex? It’s me Kate. Look I wanted to apologize for last night I can’t believe they acted like that. I hope that you’ll still be in the wedding because I love you and I want you to be there but if you don’t want to I’ll understand because they we’re way out of line. I love Alan and Dee and I would never want ill words to be spoken of them because they are the other loves of my life. I hope you can forgive me?”

“Kate I’m not mad at you or anything, I’m mad at myself for blowing up at your party.” I whispered into the phone.

“You had a right too, I had no clue that those girls were saying things like that to you. If people were talking about me like that I wouldn’t have lasted as long as you did. I gave them an earful too when I got back to the table. You and I will have a movie night soon okay?” Kate answered hopefully.

“Sounds good. I could really do with a movie night that doesn’t have a Disney title at the beginning.” I laughed.

“Alright soon than. I love you Alex.” Kate said

“I love you too Kate” and with that I hung up the phone feeling a little bit better about the situation. But even after making sure my friendship was still in tack the words that those other girls said were still lingering in my brain. I got up from my bed and walked over to the full-length mirror we had hanging. When I looked in the mirror I saw that I had put on some weight. Of coarse it should be expected that your body changes after having a baby, but what if Alan didn’t want me anymore because of the way I looked? What if he decided to leave for a girl that was thin and a model like Bridgett? I sat down in front of the mirror and crossed my legs just staring at the girl in front of me.

“What are you doing?” A voice came from behind me; it was Alan with a confused look on his face.

“Just looking at something.” I whispered back, not feeling like speaking too much.

“I know what’s going on.” He came and sat behind me so I was in between his legs. He pulled me back into his chests so we were both staring at the mirror before us.

“You’re thinking about what those girls said, and they’re wrong. What I see before me is a strong and beautiful mother who does everything in her power to make those around her happy regardless of her happiness. I think it’s time you start being a little bit selfish in some aspects. If you’re not comfortable somewhere ask me to come along, I’m sure if you really wanted to Kate would have let me come last night. Never think that I would even think about leaving you for someone like Bridgett. When we were together she was all air and I was stupid and reckless. I’d rather have you and Dee than a thousand Bridgett’s and parties all the time.” He kissed the side of my head and we sat there for a bit just looking at the two people in front of us. I’d never felt so grown up before, it was like it had happened in the blink of an eye; but I liked the way it looked on me.

Notes

Hey guys!!!! So i've come down with a cold it seems and i have two shows this week and rehearsal and i'm working late almost every day so there probably won't be an update this week :( I will try really really really hard though!!!
Have a nice week though