Leaving the cave, going into the unknown

After our little proposal scene we invited Austin and Val back into the room. Dee was a little fussy but Alan insisted he hold her for a bit, she calmed right down and fell asleep on his chest.

“Daddy’s girl, how am I supposed to top that?” I joked while Alan just smiled down at her.

“So what did you guys need to talk about? If you don’t mind me prying into it.” Val asked.

“Well I asked Alan to marry me.” I said like I was reciting a grocery list and not telling two of our closet friends that we were getting married.

“What? I thought, but you, and no, you said no what happened?” Val managed to spit out through her very confused state.

“I realized that I want to marry him, we should be a family and it’s the last thing that will complete us.” I said while playing with my ring, it felt heavy and light at the same time like it should have been there the whole time. Val came over and hugged me and we were gushing for a bit when we heard a mumble come from across the room. I looked up and too see it came from Austin who had his arms crossed in an angry manor.

“What’s that Austin? Is there something wrong?” I asked, I thought he’d be jumping for joy and bugging Alan to be the best man.

“I said ‘What happens if you change your mind again’. You know Alex I love you like my sister but you really fucked up Alan last time when you said no. He played it off like he was cool with it but you didn’t have to deal with him on tour when he would be crying on my shoulder asking why you didn’t say yes.” He shouted at me, Austin has never shouted at me before.

“Austin that’s not necessary. Don’t talk to her like that.” Alan shouted as loud as he could without waking Dee.

“No it is necessary Alan, I’m not going to sit here and say nothing while Alex has decided a few months later that she now wants to marry you. You said you needed time right? What, you didn’t want to look fat in your dress so you thought that’s why you should wait?” He just kept talking, saying mean things and irrational things that I never thought would come out of his mouth. I just stood there and took it; I didn’t really know what to do. Then out of nowhere it hit me.

“You’re right.” I said in a small and defeated voice; Austin stopped his rant immediately and wore a shocked look on his face.

“What? Alex don’t say that.” Alan protested.

“No Alan he’s right, I’m messing with your head. Austin you’re right to think what you’re thinking I can imagine from an outside perspective I look like a real bitch. But you have to understand that it was never my intention to mess with him, when I was in that car and I looked over to see him half dead a part of me died. Every decision and choice I’ve ever made regarding him flashed threw my head the other day, and I was stupid to say no. It may not seem right to you but it is too me and hopefully to him, because I love him and I can’t wait to start the rest of my life with him.” I finished slightly out of breath, I kind of rushed through my whole little rant but I felt like I needed to get it all out of my system.

Austin just stood there, no really sure what to say or do after hearing me. In a flash he was out the door not in an angry or sad way, it was almost as if he didn’t know what to do so he just left. Val ran after him and I just sat down next to Alan’s bed, feeling the exhaustion of the last few days.

“Alex I just want you to know I’m not made like Austin is okay? I understand your reasoning and why you waited until now, he’ll get over it we’re all just stressed and tired.” Alan tried reasoning with me but I was not in the mood.

“He meant it Alan, I’ve never seen that look in his eye before. He was mad he doesn’t get mad ever. I just want to go home and sleep in our bed with Melody in between us with no worries in the world.” I started to cry, I felt too tired to function.

“It’ll be okay soon enough I’ll be able to go home and we can lye around all day and forget about the world for a bit. Don’t try and think about it too much I’ll talk to him soon.” I nodded not feeling the strength to talk anymore; I just laid my head down on his bed with my hand in his and drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up an hour later I heard talking in the room, it sounded like Austin and Alan. I also felt what must have been Alan’s hand stroking my hair, when I couldn’t sleep he does that and it makes me fall right to sleep.

“Don’t be so hard on her right now Austin we’re all under enough stress right now and you’re not helping the situation. I’m happy and I don’t care that it took her until now to realize she wants to marry me. As my best friend you’re supposed to be supportive of my decisions and this is one of them.” Alan whispered, now trying to make sure both Dee and I stayed asleep.

“You’re right and I’m sorry that’s why I came back, I felt so crappy. She doesn’t derive that shit right now I was so worried about you and then another big thing happens and my brain shut off for a bit. I’ll apologize when she wakes up.”

I heard the words but at the same time I couldn’t help but think that he was lying to a certain level. I saw the look in his eyes when he went off and something was up.

Notes

Hey guys i finally got a break from life in time to write a chapter!!!! Super excited going to get my tattoo soon I can't wait! I'm also going to a couple of concerts this week and hopefully i'll have band practice soon!!!!! Plus i've got some stuff planned for this story!!!! Have a great rest of your weekend!