Leaving the cave, going into the unknown

Alan and I spent his last week finishing most of the baby’s room; I would do the mural when he was gone. Each day was relaxing and comforting as we planed where Dee would sleep, I would stand by her crib and imagine looking down at her as she slept. We bought the last of her clothes and put them in all the drawers and the little closet that was in there.

It was the day before he would leave and Austin wanted to have a going away BBQ at his house for all of the crew and band. I was currently getting ready; I put on a long maxi dress because even though they make maternity jeans I never want to wear pants anymore, they push on my stomach. I went against putting make up on and put my hair in a messy bun, these people were like my family they didn’t care what I looked like. Alan was still in the shower so I went to lye down on the bed and close my eyes for a moment, lately I’ve been feeling really tired and hungry all the time but the tiredness usually wins in the end. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to Alan rubbing my back.

“Alex wake up, I know you’re tired but we promised Austin that we’d go to the BBQ tonight. We’ll get you and Dee some food then come back here and sleep ok?” I nodded and sat up slowly, still groggy from my nap. There was something about a nap that made me more tired then I was before I went to sleep. Alan put my vans on for me and I just smiled at him, he helped me up and led me into the car. I put some random pop radio station on and opened all the windows feeling the wind on my face. When we got to Austin’s I went to grab the salad I had made but Alan wouldn’t let me carry it. He had been acting weird all evening but I just assumed it was because he was leaving, I found myself acting weird too. He walked me to the door and we just went in, he had his own key. When the door fully opened I understood why Alan wouldn’t let me hold the salad, I probably would have dropped it. Inside were all my friends yelling surprise, there were pink balloons all around and presents on the main table.

“We wanted to throw you a baby shower before the Europe tour because by the time we get back and settled after touring you’ll be 8 months.” Austin said coming down through the crowd.

“Thank you for hosting it at your house Austin. Is this why you’ve been acting so weird today?” I turned and asked Alan, he nodded sheepishly and wrapped his arm around me. Everyone came and said hello to me, there weren’t many people there considering I didn’t know that many people; Kate & Tom, the band and their girlfriends, people from work and Alan’s parents. I looked around for anyone else but was disappointed when I didn’t see my parents there.

“I tried to call them and get them to come but they said that they’d probably be busy.” Alan whispered in my ear, like he read my mind. I nodded and he kissed my cheek and smiled at me, I was not going to let Melody ever feel like that. She was going to be my whole world and she was going to know it. Never would she feel like her mother or father didn’t care about her and I would do my best to show up to ever-single talent show, graduation and event that she was apart of.

“It’s fine I don’t need them, I’ve got my own family now.” I said while I smiled up at him and looked around the room at all the people I loved.

“Well I don’t know if anyone else is thinking it but…. Can we eat the cake because I saw it and now I want it.” Phil said from the back of the group.

“Dinner first than cake.” Alan scolded towards Phil.

“Ohhhhh acting all parentey already.” Austin teased which cause everyone to laugh and Alan to blush into my side; I just squeezed his hand and laughed along.


We finished up eating and had just passed out the cake when Alan and I thought that now would be the perfect time to announce the Godparents.

“So we put a lot of thought into this because you’d all make wonderful godparents and we know that everyone will give her so much love.” I explained.

“But having said that someone has to win so who is it!” Tino shouted forcing me to give him a scowl.

“Austin and Val.” Alan said, giving in to Tinos competition thoughts.

“We won, ha take that.” Val screamed, her and Austin high fived.

“It’s not a contest!” I screamed but couldn’t help but laugh along with Alan.

“Ya but if it was and lets be honest it kinda was, we won!!!” Austin screamed before throwing Val over his shoulder and running around the house. I just laughed and sat down, feeling really dizzy, Alan noticed despite what was going on and sat down next to me.

“Are you ok?” He whispered not wanting to alert the others.

“Ya I think maybe I just need some fresh air.” I went to get up but only made it 2 steps before I fell over, Tino catching me just before I hit the ground. The last thing I remember was Alan crying and telling me not to close my eyes while someone was talking to the 911 dispatcher. Than darkness.

Notes

Hello All!!!!
Had another job interview at a music store!!! i really really want this one and it's full time with benefits and all that fun grown up stuff which means more tattoo's soon!!!! I find out at the end of next week. I really want to try and update this every day but i've been volunteering all week so i've been super busy, going to try really hard to update soon cause i put a cliff-hanger on it!
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