Leaving the cave, going into the unknown

I was now semi moved into Alan’s house, my clothes were the drawers but most of my belongings were still in boxes in the guest bedroom. I waited until Kate had left for the day to go and get my stuff, I really didn’t want any awkward meetings or her trying to apologize I needed more time. Sophie almost leapt off the couch when she saw me, I guess she missed me as much as I missed her. She was also very happy to return to Alan’s home and nestled on her regular spot on the bed while we slept. She was the perfect companion and a great alarm clock, as she liked to keep to a very specific schedule. At 7:30 every morning I would get a paw to the face until I woke up because she wanted to be fed; this cat could defiantly tell time. I returned to work and had a heart to heart with Tom who was taking the break up hard, he wanted to marry her and she turned him down. I explained to him what had happened and he was pissed and told me that if I ever needed a place to stay that his door was always open. It was nice to know that even though my life was somewhat upside down right now Tom was still there. It had been a week and a half since I had been home and after the first week I had been feeling really sick. Puking every day and I had no energy to do anything. I rarely got sick, mostly because I don’t get out enough to catch anything. Because I had been going out so much and tour took a lot out of me I just thought it had to do with that. Until I was unpacking the box for the bathroom and I found an unopened box of tampons. I felt my stomach drop and I felt dizzy and sick all over again. I sat on the floor and tried to remember when my last period was until I remembered it was during my accident, which was almost 2 months ago now. I got so caught up with tour and Kate that I hadn’t been keeping track of my schedule. Trying to be reasonable and not panic I hopped in the car and went to the local CVS and picked up a pregnancy test, there was no use getting upset about something that wasn’t true. I’ve had late periods before due to stress and to say this month was stressful would be an understatement. I rushed home and ran into the bathroom with Sophie hot on my tail, I think she knew I needed someone right now. I peed on the stick, set the timer and waited. I had no idea what I would do if I was pregnant, Alan and I were only together for about 3 months. I know we love each other and all that but regardless 3 months is still not enough time to be procreating with someone. The timer went off and I grabbed it fast like the information was going to disappear from the screen. There in tiny words it said “Pregnant” like it was mocking me, laughing in my face. I didn’t know what to do, everything would change, did I even want a baby? I’m so young and so is he will we be good parents? I was in a daze; I put the stick on the table and went to bed. I curled and went to sleep hoping everything was a dream.



I didn’t do anything for the rest of that week besides draw from home as I told Tom I wasn’t feeling well, and puke. Soon enough it was time for the boys to come home, I was waiting at the airport to pick up Austin and Alan with the other boys significant others. Val couldn’t make it due to work but she didn’t want Austin to feel left out so I had a little sign that she made for him. In the time that I had been mopping in my room I didn’t even think to call any of the other girls, I guess I didn’t want to tell anyone but Alan. I was so anxious but I knew I needed to get it off my chest and tell him before it ate me alive. Finally we saw the boys come through the doors and my heart dropped as I saw him again, he had a huge smile on his face as he ran to me and picked me up in his arms. I kissed him like it would be our last kiss; it might be after I tell him the news so I wanted to savor it. I gave Austin his sign that had lots of I Love You’s written on it with Val’s kisses covering the paper. He loved it but told me that Phil was going to drive him home and that we could go have our lovely dovy time. I was thankful so I could tell Alan sooner; I was going to wait til we got home just to be safe. We got in the car and he started talking away about all the stuff that happened after I left and the shows and adventures. When I walked in the front door he stopped me and turned me around.

“Are you ok Alex? You’ve barley said anything this whole time.” I took his hands in mine and led him over to the couch.

“I’ve been saving all my words til now. Listen something’s happened and I don’t know what you’re going to think about it. You can’t say anything til I finish talking ok?” He nodded his head with a scared look on his face.

“When I was unpacking the box’s I found an unopened box of Tampons and I was trying to figure out when the last time I had my period and it was the accident and I took a test. I’m pregnant.” I finished out of breath and looked at him for a response, he just stared at me like I was an Alien or something.

“Like with a baby?” He asked

“Yes and I know you hate me and you’re going to leave. I’m sorry” I put my head down and started to cry. I had nowhere to go and no one but Tom, I couldn’t raise this baby by myself.

“Alex whoa don’t apologize it takes two people to make a baby and shit happens. I’m not going to leave ok? I’m going to be honest this is not how I imagined having kids but if it’s the situation were in than we’ll get through it together. Ok?” I smiled at him and kissed him, he pulled me into his arms and we just sat there for a while letting what was going to happen sink in.

“So this means that you are now permanently staying here. Have you been to the doctors yet?”

“No I haven’t done anything since I found out.” I said looking up at him.

“Ok we’ll we will get on that and make sure that the mini us is ok.” He put his hand on my tummy and made small circles with is palm. I put my hand on his and smiled up at him, we were going to be ok.

Notes

Another chapter! Hope everyone is having a good day I saw Teenage Mutent Ninja Turtles last night it was really good, basically transformers with Turtles. I also got a job interview at the Disney Store but i probably won't get it due to my nose piercing and pink hair and they seem to have a strickt apperience policy. Hopefully my friend who works at HMV (Canadian music store for all you americans) will hear about an open position there.
Have a great Thursday and rest of the week!