-Alan’s POV-

2 days later and I am still hearing about fucking Leah. I hate my band. It was a travel day and honestly I just really wanted to get back to the states. It’s not that I don’t like it here; it’s just not, my home.

I need to see Holland when we get back, which is impossible, but I’m going to try. Then there’s Emily who wants to see me, and okay maybe I am in a little bit of a mess with the ladies. That stupid girl is still all over the Internet about sleeping with me.

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We landed and I was in another hotel room.

Checking my phone I saw one important person on the screen, Holland.

H: Alan, can you call me please it’s important.

She never sends texts like this.

“Hello?” she answered and it sounded muffled.

“Holland, what’s wrong?” I said immediately knowing something was wrong.

“He wants to take a break, I haven’t seen him in a week and I don’t know Alan. I love him.”

The last part killed me, and she shouldn’t be asking me of all people for advice.

“He’s an asshole Holls. You know that.” Yeah Alan, that was great to tell her.

“Alan.” She said and starting crying, shit.

“Why do you think he wants this?” I asked.

“He’s cheating like you said…” She started crying more.

“You don’t know that” I said trying to comfort her.

“But I think he is too…”

“What? What makes you think that?” I’m going to fucking kill this dude.

“I found out that he has a secret Instagram account.”

“Give me the username now.”

“No. You’re going to murder him.”

“Yeah I fucking am!” I said now getting angry.

“Alan what the fuck makes you care so much?”

“Because maybe I care about you and your feelings.” Oh shit, was I really going there?

“Don’t go there Alan. You don’t care about anyone! All you do is sleep with random girls and play guitar for your stupid band!” Ouch, that stung.

“I care about you Holland, and you know it.”

“I…I have to go he’s calling me bye.” What the fuck?

She hung up on me before I could get another word in. Maybe I scared her when I said I cared about her? I mean I may come off as a non-emotional asshole, but I do have somewhat of a heart. Holland makes me feel stuff, scary stuff… that I can’t even say. I’ve known her for 3 years now though, and through everything, everyone I met she’s remained a constant feeling. FUCK ALAN WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS? YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IT WILL MAKE EVERYTHING WORST. The voice in my head was yelling at me.

I threw my phone across the room and almost hit Austin. I didn’t realize he was in here.

“Fuck Alan! What are you doing?” He said startled at my outburst.

“Sorry” was all I said before I grabbed my cigarettes and hotel key to head out of the hotel.

He just looked at me confused as hell. I don’t care right now. Fuck this.

Notes

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