For What It's Worth..

It was almost four in the morning, and I still felt wide awake as I was driving home. I was still reeling from what happened earlier.

Shortly after Jen and I’s little love session, I was beaming with excitement that she loved me, and had made Jen’s face completely red as we were heading back up to the party. Ricky came barreling into the room. “There you guys are!” He looked out of breath.

I looked at him, confused. “Yes, we are. What’s wrong?”

“Dude, the cops are here.” My eyes widened in surprise. “Why?” I quickly glanced down at my right hand, hoping it wasn’t what I was thinking it was about. I looked up at Rickys face, and knew that was exactly why they where here. “Dude, don’t worry, most of us saw what happened. If anything, they’ll probably take him to jail.”

“You were just defending me.” I looked down at Jen, who grabbed my hand reassuringly. I gave it a light squeeze, glad to have her here with me. I looked back up at Ricky, who was trying not to grin; considering it wasn’t the proper time for it. We walked down the hall, into the open area where the crowd was beforehand. I saw my father and my friends crowded around a police officer and the guy I punched earlier.

I felt my right hand flex automatically, wincing as it did so. I noticed that Jenny hadn’t let my hand go since we left the room. I walked up too everyone, and I was immediately questioned on all corners. The one question I heard most was ‘Why?’.

“Alright, everyone can you please settle down.” The officer raised his hands up and down slowly, motioning everyone to be quiet. “Can I talk too the young lady first?” He motioned towards Jen. She nodded and let go of my hand, I felt myself try and grab her hand back; but she looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. My hand fell back too my side. The officer led her across the room, away from prying ears. I looked over at the man who tried to have his way with my woman.

Hm, my woman. I like the way that sounds.

He had tissues up his nose, and a bandage on the top of it. It was becoming a nice purplish red color. He grinned, still in his drunken stupor, thinking that he has won. I glared at him, my eyes narrowing, and I saw him flinch and take a step back. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and Ghost appeared behind me. “I wouldn’t try for round two, his face has taken quite the hit the first time round.” He whispered. I heard him snicker. I couldn’t resist the smile that crept up my face, but I pulled it back.

I looked over to where Jen was talking too the cop, and she was leaning on her right leg, making her hip angle out. That stance was familiar. It was the stance that I had come to learn was her ‘I’m not taking any shit from you right now’ stance. I looked at her arms to confirm it, they where closed, her fingers hooked on her elbow like claws.

“I’m going to go take a piss.” the guy with the busted nose announced. I glanced over at him, he didn’t really care if we looked, he headed towards the stage. I looked back over at the two across the room, I saw Jen look towards the drunk, and raise her finger to point at him. Then I heard a slur of angry words come out of her mouth.

“He’s still fucking piss drunk. Look hes over by the stage pissing in the fucking corner.” I saw the cop look over in surprise. I was surprised. We all looked behind us, at the drunk piss in the corner by the stage. I feel sorry for whoever has too clean that up. I frowned.

The cop ran over to him, got him to stop and put cuffs on him. He walked the guy back towards us, and stopped in front of me. The cop looked at me, then looked at Jen; and then the drunk. He shook his head. Turning back to me and the people behind me, he said, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience folks, please continue with your party.” I looked at him, surprised as he walked the dumbfounded drunk out.

He stopped at Jen, who gave him a two finger salute. He gave one back in return. He continued his way out the door. I stood there dumbfounded with what just happened. I shrugged my shoulders, more too myself. “The fuck.” I murmured to myself.

I walked over to meet her as she started her way back towards us. “What was that about?” I asked. “I was sure I would have some charges against me.” She looked at me, with a smirk that told no secrets. “Nope. That guy, pretty much sealed his own deal against him.” I snuck my arms around her, smiling. “Well, thank you for whatever you said.”

She giggled, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I groaned softly, wishing it lasted longer.
I heard someone clear their throat behind me, I looked behind me and saw Ghost, Ricky; my father and Balz standing behind me.

“What?” I asked. I grinned so much, I felt my teeth showing.


I walked through my front door and put my keys on an end table in the little hallway. I walked into my kitchen, throwing my coat over the back of its chair. I felt myself relax outwardly at just being home. I felt the corner of my eyes start to sting from still being conscious at this hour. I started walking upstairs towards the bathroom too take a quick shower. Jen was going to be here in about a half hour, give or take after dropping off the guys at Ryans and going to grab her overnight bag.


I smiled, as I turned the shower on, and started stripping down. I took some makeup remover and wiped the rest of my makeup off for the night. My extremely pale face looked back at me in the mirror. One thing I had learned being around Jen these past few months when we weren’t together, was that she liked me without makeup. But she never made a fuss about me actually wearing makeup, in fact she didn’t care at all if I did wore it.

She just thought it was unnecessary for all the beautiful people in the world to hide their pretty faces. I felt myself get a little red, because I knew now that she was talking about me to. I shook my head, my hair just brushing the bottom of my ears. It was getting quite long. I looked at my hand, and slowly peeled off the wrap. Trying not to wince as it throbbed slightly, as more circulation came too my hand.

“Hrm.” I hopped in the shower and enjoyed the hot water streaming down on my skin. I took my time cleaning the sweat and grime that seemed to attach itself to me after a show. I washed my hair, letting myself relax. I felt my starting eyes starting to droop, realizing the night was finally taking its toll on me. I rubbed my face, trying to perk up a bit. I tried to rinse my hair out as quickly as possible, so I could at least get out and get comfortable in my pjs. It felt like forever, my muscles felt slower than usual, until the shampoo finally got rinsed out. I turned the shower off, and grabbed a towel, quickly messing up my hair too get it somewhat dryer. I put my towel around my waist and stepped out the shower. I heard the front door open and close. Jen was here. My heart thudded erratically in my chest.

I walked out the threshold of the bathroom and down the stairs. “I’ll be right down.” She looked up at me, surprised. She was in the middle of taking her shoes off. She had changed her clothes, into a baggy shirt and some blue jeans. I saw her grin. “Take your time. I’ll be in the living room. I’m going to change into my pjs.” She started walking to the living room, while I walked into my bedroom.

I found some clean boxers and I grabbed a pair of loose black pajama bottoms. I pulled them on, not bothering putting a shirt on. I walked down the stairs quickly, and turned the corner too the living room. Completely forgetting that Jen was getting changed. She turned her head around in obvious surprise, but did nothing to conceal herself. She already had her bra off, and was about to put a baggy tshirt over her.

I stared at her naked back, well except for the japanese tattoo on her right shoulder, that somehow attached itself too her sleeve on her right arm. But what caught my attention was the old scar trailing from the middle of her back to where the top of her shoulder got covered in tattoos. “I- I’m sorry, I forgot you were getting changed.” She shrugged. “Its fine.” She was about to pull the shirt over her shoulders. “Wait.” Hoping she would hold off on pulling it over just a few more seconds, I walked over and put my fingertips over the scar. I felt her body tense up at my touch. Her skin where the scar was, was just as soft as the rest of her. My mind was fuzzy from the lack of sleep, so I wrapped my arms around her; I gave her a light squeeze, my hands grabbing the opposite arms as I held her close. I felt her shiver, but she leaned back against me.

I was glad she felt comfortable enough to let me do this. “You saw the scar, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

“Mhm.” I murmured into her neck.
She made a weird noise. She dropped the shirt in front of her. I lifted my head, as she turned in my arms facing me. I stared into her eyes, trying not to let the fact that her bare breasts where now flush against my bare skin. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and stared straight into my eyes. I saw curiosity and confusion in her eyes.

“Whats wrong?” I asked her. She blinked her eyes a couple times. “Nothing, I’m sorry. I feel like I’m making you uncomfortable. And I’m wondering where this sudden ‘me being naked and comfortable around you’ thing came from.” I could see pink run across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. I grinned. “I like that you’re comfortable. And no, believe me, this is far from uncomfortable. Its extremely comfortable.” A lot of comfort. I felt myself smile inside my mind.

She gave a soft smile, and leaned up too give me a kiss. I got sucked into a whirlwind of intense emotions as her lips pressed against mine, and I could feel a million fireworks go off on my skin where her body touched mine. I felt her heart beat heavily on my chest, or maybe it was my heart, but it sent heat from my head too my toes.

When she pulled back, I was breathing heavily. This woman would be the end of me. She was beet red, and I could see she was breathless as well. She turned around and grabbed her shirt off the floor, she pulled it over her head, it falling loosely around her figure. She picked up her jeans and what looked to be a black lace bra off the floor. I raised my eyebrow with a smirk on my face. Now, I wish I would have came down a little faster, just to see her wearing it.

I made my way over to the couch, turning on my PS3 and TV before I sat down. So we could watch something. Sitting down, I held my hand out for Jen, she took it and I pulled her on top of my lap. She burst into a fit of giggles. I smiled, but my hand throbbed painfully when I held her up, and I couldn't stop the wince that made my way up to my face. I saw Jen give me a look of horror. “It’s fine.” I tried to reassure her. But she turned herself too the opposite side of me. I wrapped my arm around her waist and she curled up into my side.

She lifted my bruised hand gingerly, and I was curious at what she was doing. She held it gently, her thumb barely grazed over it. She brought it up too her mouth, and she gently kissed my knuckles where the bruise was the worst. She looked so sad. I eased my hand out of her hold and tilted her chin towards me. I kissed her, again and again. “Don’t blame yourself.” I whispered out and kissed her again, hard. She let out a small moan.

Oh, I want to hear that again. I licked the bottom of her lip, and she opened her mouth slightly, allowing me to intertwine my tongue with hers. She tasted wonderful. So sweet and wonderful. I groaned softly as we pulled away from each other. “I really like doing that.” I whispered. “Me too.” and she kissed me again. She trailed a finger on my chest. I moved my lips away from her mouth, down towards her neck. I stopped and sucked hungrily on the soft flesh of her neck, I felt her body shiver with pleasure as she gasped. “Mmm.” I hummed. I felt like I was vibrating, like every nerve was on overdrive. She raised her hand too my face, and pulled me too her face and kissed me hard. It was amazing how she affected me. The way her body felt against mine, how much she seemed to fill the hole in my soul since I first laid eyes on her. I was so happy, and she’s only been mine for a couple hours. I sighed happily as we pulled away.

“What?” She murmured, smiling. “I’m lucky. I’m lucky that I met you. I’m lucky to be in love.” She nestled into my neck. “With you.” I reached over to my coffee table for my controller, I forgot to put on something too watch. I put on Hemlock Grove on Netflix. I relaxed back on the couch with Jen still in my arms.

“I think I’m the lucky one.” She mumbled happily.



It was about five thirty in the morning, and I was still tired. But I just wanted to stay awake and talk too this beautiful woman laying beside me on the couch. We had a blanket over us, just enjoying each others company. I was slowly trying to lead up the question on how she got the scar on her back, but I was silent for a moment longer than I intended.

I heard her suck in a breath and laugh a little. “I have a feeling you want to know about the scar on my back.”

I traced my finger along her arm. “Well.. yes.” I finished lamely. She turned her head too look up at me.

“Where does one start with a lovely story like that.” She arched her brow at me. I couldn’t help it. “Well, I think the beginning.” I smirked.

“Well, smartass, which beginning?” She smirked right back.

“Touche.”

“I guess I’ll start with my sister Anna. I told you about her, right?” I nodded. “Your sister that was born on the same day as you, two years apart.”

“Yep, the same. Anyway. I might not have told you that when we were growing up, she was kind of a brat. And a lot of the time, I would get the butt end of it.” She said it so calmly. “But, one day it got so bad that she said the wrong thing too the wrong person. Like I always told her would happen. As much as I didn’t want it to happen, I also knew it had to happen.” She sounded like she regretted it. I rubbed her arm.

“Actually, if you look closely on my arm, you can see other scars. Not just from Ann, but from other things as well.” I looked at her shocked, my thoughts automatically thinking she did it herself. She glared at me. “I did not self harm. I don’t think I could ever do that.”

“Sorry.” I grinned sheepishly. I looked down at her arms, and saw little scars, of all shapes and sizes. Some new, some so old I could barely notice them. I saw ones that were little crescent moon shaped. I squinted my eyes. She moved her arm up too see what I was looking at. “Those are from Ann.” She said matter-of-factly.

“She had a habit of taking her anger out on me when things didn’t go her way.” sighing. “And no one cared. Since she was the youngest and ultimately the last child my parents had, they treated her with special care.”

“Anyway, about the scar on my back. She said something too the wrong person, and the boy punched her in the face. Mind you I was about fifteen when this happened. I saw it down the road by the corner of the street. And I ran like a bat out of hell towards her. I don’t think I was ever that mad in my entire life until that moment.”

She licked her lips, giving them some moisture. “I flew at that asshole, tackling him to the ground. I just started wailing on him, and I remember pausing for a second, too look over the damage done too my sister. She had a cut and swollen lip, her nose was bleeding, and she was crying. And all I remember was seeing red. I was so angry.” She let out a trembling sigh. I nuzzled into neck, hoping I provided some kind of comfort. I could tell she was angry just thinking about it. I imagined a young girl crying for her big sister, and then too have that kind of comfort to know she was there too make it all better. I saw a slightly older girl, fiercely protective of her sister, even though she caused so much emotional pain growing up.

“Then what?” I asked quietly.

“Well, I soon found my reasoning, and I got off the stunned and now bloody boy. And by now Anna had stopped crying, and she was sniffling. She came over to me and grabbed my shirt. She looked up at me with scared eyes. I remember panicking, looking over her face, too make sure there was nothing broken. Which thankfully there wasn’t. The kid behind me had gotten up and ran home. But I wasn’t paying any attention.” She stopped again, this time her voice changed completely.

“The kid came back.” She sounded dark now. “He had found and old pipe, sharp and worn.” This story was actually starting to scare me a little.

“He swung up, and in that single motion. Anna yelled at me too look out, but by the time I was about half way up on my feet, the pipe had cut into my shoulder blade and came all the way to the middle of my back.” I winced as if I felt it cut me to. “I remember not feeling anything at first, so I had enough time to turn around and sock him one before the real pain set in. The kid was stunned enough to drop the pipe, and actually started crying and this time he did run home too his mommy.” She shuddered.

“I felt cold. And I kept my eyes open wide, I had too make sure to stay awake. I saw black start crowding my vision, but I pushed it away when I let myself calm down. I pulled Annas arm and told her to run home and get Daddy. She didn’t want to leave, but she took off running. By then the pain was setting in. It was a burning pain, and I could barely stand.”

I was becoming so into the story. It was amazing that she could make it sound so exciting and terrifying at the same time. I knew she was alright, but I was so captivated that I thought something else was going to happen.

“I was about halfway to my house, when I saw my dad run too me. I don’t think I seen a man so scared in his life. He picked me up and ran to his truck, where Anna was already seated in the front. He laid me down in the back on my stomach. I could hear Ann start crying again, I wanted to cry to, but I couldn’t. I told myself I had to be strong. But I was scared. So scared. My dad kept looking back too me, too see if I was okay. Although at the time, I was wondering why he was looking at me and not Anna. She was so little, and hurt.”

She stopped and looked at me. “Sorry if I’m making myself out to be some sort of badass, I wasn’t badass at all. I was just scared.” She lowered her eyes, looking ashamed.

I gave her a kiss on the cheek. “No, you did what any other human being should do to protect your loved ones.” I grinned. “Maybe not beat him too a bloody pulp, but I digress.” She smiled, and then said. “I love you.” she looked at me with those green eyes with yellow swirled through them. “I mean it.”

And I felt it. “I love you to. So so so much.” I gave her a peck on the lips. When I pulled back, she was trying not to yawn, very unsuccessfully. I looked over to the window, and saw that dawn was coming, and if I really listened I could hear the birds starting to sing. I looked down at her. “I think we should probably get to bed.” She nodded murmured. “Mhm.” She slowly sat up, and I followed suit. I got up and started to turn everything off. I looked back at Jen, who was now standing and yawning again. She tried to cover it up, and all it winded up doing was making her look extremely adorable. “Sorry, I’m really tired.” She laughed. “You seem too like keeping me awake at night.”

“All day and all night.” I went over to her, and picked her up. She yelped in surprise. “What about your hand?” She looked down trying to see if she could get down. I carried her up the stairs into my bedroom. My air conditioner was running on low, so it was nice and cool in here. I set her down on my bed, turning around and closing the door. I went and closed the blackout curtain, so we could sleep all day without being disturbed by the sun.

I looked behind me and I saw Jen pulling the blanket back. “Which side are you comfortable on?” I shrugged and walked over as she climbed onto the opposite side of the bed. I climbed in after her, pulling the blankets over us. She quickly snuggled into me as I laid on my side. Wrapping my arms around her. I said quietly. “I could get used too this.” She nuzzled herself in closer in an unspoken agreement. I quickly turned around and turned off my lamp.

It wasn't long before I fell asleep, holding the woman who stole my heart. And I loved it.



I was dreaming, that much I knew for sure. I was overseeing the dream. I knew there was people here I didn't recognize. But I saw Jenny, and I tried calling out to her, but it was clear she didn't hear me or see me. Even in my dreams, she looked absolutely beautiful. I couldn't help but stare at her gorgeous face. I walked over to her, or more accurately floated over to her. She looked scared. I actually took a minute too look around me. The other people were closing in on her.

“Hey, what’s going on?” I yelled out. But it seemed to fall on deaf ears. I was starting to freak out a little bit. I looked over to Jen, trying to make her leave. I felt someone grab me from behind and pull me away from her. I was a part of the dream suddenly.

“Hey! Stop, no! Leave her alone!” My yelling, again, fell on deaf ears. I saw Jen start backing away, I saw her face turn to look at me. She was actually seeing me. I saw her yell ‘Chris!’ . But I couldn't hear the words, it was like there was no sound whatsoever.

I kept screaming no, and trying to pull away from my captives. I couldn't let them hurt her. I couldn't let them hurt someone I loved.

I pulled with all my strength, and I somehow got away, I ran towards her, grabbing the people that were surrounding her off of her. I grabbed her too me, pulling her close. I soon realized something was wrong. She was ice cold. I cradled her in one arm, and reached a hand towards her face. She was all cut up and bruised, broken. I choked out a yell, in shock. I tried too feel a pulse, but she was so pale and cold. I couldn’t find one. I felt a lump in my throat, realizing that she was dead.


“No.” I whimpered. “Not again. I can’t lose someone like this again.” I felt hot tears sting my eyes, and I felt as if a million pieces of glass where stabbing my heart, over and over again.

“No, nonono.” I cried. “Please, Jen wake up. Please I love you. Please don’t leave me.” The tears poured down my cheeks, I tasted the salt that was with them when they poured over my mouth. I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the image of my dead girlfriend in my arms.

I felt a rush of air throw me back, and I hit the wall with a dull thud. I gasped for air, as the wind was knocked out of me. I opened my eyes, and saw my friends and my family. Their eyes were black as coal. They were pointing at me. Chanting. “ITS YOUR FAULT.” My heart froze, my tears had stopped. I couldn't breath. It was my fault. I whispered out. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was hyperventilating, I couldn't breath. I couldn't breath.


I woke up, bolting upwards and inhaled sharply. I was gasping for air. I felt something stir beside me. Jenny. I looked over to her, and she was looking up at me sleepily. “Chris? What's wrong, are you okay?” I immediately turned towards her and hugged her. She moved slightly, so she could put her arm around me. She started rubbing my back soothingly. I rested my head on her chest, feeling her steady heartbeat. She moved more so she was holding my head too her chest, and continued to rub my back in small circles. I didn't want to let her go. “It’s alright.” She hushed. “I’m not going anywhere.” My breathing finally slowed, and I pulled away. I looked over at my clock. It was twelve in the afternoon. I sighed. I looked over at Jen who was looking at me with sleepy eyes.

“I’m alright. I’m sorry I woke you.” I laid back down, and pulled her too my chest. She kissed my neck. “It’s alright.” She slurred out. “I woke up slightly just before you jolted up. You were shaking. I was worried.” I leaned my head forward to peck her on the lips. “I’m fine. I just had a bad dream. You can go back to sleep now.”

“Are you sure.” She rubbed her eye, trying to be more alert. “I’m fine. Promise.” I rubbed my hand on her shoulder. “Kay.” She was soon fast asleep. I let out a steady breath and slowly made my way back too unconsciousness. Relieved that it was all just a dream.


Just a dream.

Notes

Whew. Another chapter down. :3

This one felt like it took forever. More or less. I haven't been sleeping a lot lately, because my mind doesn't seem to want to shut off. -,-

Enjoy ! :3