For What It's Worth..

I watched as Jen slowly opened the door. As soon as we walked through the threshold, the lights flashed on, and I saw my family and friends yell “Surprise! Happy Birthday Chris!” I couldn't hold back my surprise. I just gaped at the scene before me.

I looked down at Jenny, and she was smiling up at me. She wrapped her arms around me, giving me a hug. “Happy Birthday Chris.” I was seriously flabbergasted. I ran a hand through my hair, I couldn't keep the grin off my face.

I was suddenly surrounded by my family and friends wishing me happy birthday, and lots of hugs. I was still sweaty from jumping around screaming earlier, but at the moment I didn't care. I saw my mother come over and give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Happy Birthday son.” she gave me her motherly smile. “Thanks mom.” I kissed her on the cheek.

I went and mingled with the other guests, meeting some familiar faces, catching up on old times. Music started playing, and the main lights were dimmed down, while colored lights started spinning and flashing slightly.

I looked around for the person I was dying to talk to. I saw her over by one of tables filled with people, talking with my father. I saw them start laughing, and I felt some admiration for her, because not many people could get my father too laugh, or get him to talk for that matter. I decided to wait till later.

I went and grabbed a drink, and sat down beside Ricky. He looked over at me, grinning like a fool. “You planned this, didn't you?” I accused him, but I still couldn't stop the grin on my face.

“Well, the party idea was mine, Jenny wanted it to be a surprise. You should see the gift she got you.” I looked at him with shock.

“Seriously?” He nodded, and then gave me a grim look. “But the gift I’m talking about.” He paused, and I raised my eyebrow at him curiously. “It was pretty expensive. And by the way Ghost described it, it was because she thought you were mad at her, or avoiding her every time she called or texted.”

I felt my heart thump anxiously. “And we told her, it was just because you were busy with the new album, but I saw right through that when you purposely avoided talking to her when I was on the phone with her last week.”

I remember that. I didn't want too see her, in fear that she was upset over when I let those three dangerous words slip out of my mouth that night when we stayed up till three or four in the morning, just talking. I knew it was true, too what I said. But the fact was, how did she take them.

I didn't know that, and I felt like a coward for not finding out. But before the show, when she and I were by ourselves. I looked over at her, and she was absolutely beautiful, her jeans hugged her curves in all the right places. Her shirt that she was wearing; was more than I could handle. Her long dark brown hair framed her beautiful face. She was avoiding my gaze. And I felt the need to go over and comfort her, I asked if she was okay, but it seemed she didn't hear me. She cracked her knuckles, her signature sign to show that she was stressed. I went over there in an attempt to help, but I got sucked into her forest green eyes, and those light pink lips; and all I wanted to do was kiss her.

I looked down at my drink, coming back from my thoughts. “I tried to kiss her earlier.” I admitted. Ricky looked at me, with wide eyes. “What happened?”

I laughed. “Someone walked in on us.” Ricky burst out laughing. When it came to finding the one woman who was on my mind every hour, of every minute, of every second; day and night. None came close too Jenny. She was an exception, she was smart, funny and could hold her own against anything. I admired her passion for books, and her love for music. I felt honored to have her as a fan of my music; my band, that was my life.

“So, are you going to talk to her?” Ricky asked. “Even though she’s planning on moving.” he added.

That’s right. I thought. She was leaving. “We’re going to talk after the party.” I stopped when Ricky gave me a weird look. I knew what he was thinking. “Yes, I’m going to tell her.” I suddenly felt anxious, what if she leaves, and I’ll never see her again. I felt a cold chill run up my spine.

I felt myself blink a couple of times, the lights flashed in my face harshly. A song I recognized came on; You've Seen the Butcher by Deftones. People started going up too an open area away from the tables, too dance. I looked over to where Jen was last sitting and found her not there; I looked around and saw her friend Mia trying to drag her to dance too the music. She shook her head, and sat back down.

Mia ultimately gave up, and went to join the other swaying bodies on the dancefloor. The music, was seductive, entrancing; as where many of Deftones songs. I watched Jenny as she lifted her fist to her face, leaning her elbow on the table. If I squinted, I could almost make out that she had too her eyes closed and she started swaying slightly too the music.

“Don’t want too take it slow,
I wanna take you home.
And watch the world explode,
from underneath your glow.”

The song gave me an idea, well, more of an opportunity. I set my drink down, and headed towards where Jen was sitting. I leaned down, close to her face. She had her eyes half closed, but they opened wide when she saw me standing there before her. I held out my hand. Hoping that I could convince her to dance with me. She looked at me, her face in a half grin. “Oh no, not you to.” I gave her my best best puppy dog eyes. She shook her head. “I can’t dance.” Oh contraire, I saw you dance before, even when you thought I wasn't looking. I thought. I leaned in close, so that I was mere inches away from her ear. “Please, for my birthday present.” I leaned back, my hand still out. She gave me an assessing look, and she outwardly deflated, as if losing some kind of internal argument.

“I wanna watch the way,
you creep across my skull.”

She grabbed my hand and I led her to the dance floor. I gently pulled her in front of me, I put my hands on her hips, I saw her look up at me, timid. I moved us slowly, and seconds later, she put her arms around my neck, bringing herself flush against me.

“You slowly enter,
cause you know my room.
And then you crawl your knees off,
before you shake my tomb.”

I felt my heart thump painfully against my chest, as we started to rock our bodies against each other, swaying back and forth too the music. She stared up at me, her eyes reflected her nervousness too be this close. I leaned my head down, and touched my forehead to hers, smiling encouragingly. We continued our slow sensual pace, just letting the music guide us. The rest of the people in the room seemed to fade away. What I felt was so cliche, but it felt so amazing just be right here with her. The song changed into a slow song, and for a moment I thought that this was going to end.

But then Jenny pulled herself even closer against me, and rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her, resting my palms right at the small crease of her lower back. Resting my cheek against her head, I inhaled the sweet scent of her green apple shampoo. God, I wish I could hold her like this forever. I felt my eyes close as we slow danced.

“Sometimes life it feels so trivial,
immersed in the greatness of space.
Yet somehow you still find time for me,
it’s then you show me your love.”

I felt her body shake suddenly. I looked down at her, and she looked up at me. She was laughing softly. “This kind of reminds me of a prom dance.” I grinned. “Is that a bad thing?” I whispered to her.

“No, its wonderful.” She adjusted her arms too come around my waist. I felt my stomach churn with over flowing happiness. I was in a state of euphoria. With her being this close, I could feel her heartbeat beating rapidly along with mine.

It all ended way too soon. The next song that came on was a heavier song, more upbeat than the last. I finally became more aware of my surroundings, there was people coming back to the dance floor, to dance. I saw one other couple that were separating from each other to dance to the upbeat music.

Jenny pulled herself away from me, and looked around, I could see her face flushed; when she realized we were one of two pairs that were dancing to the previous song. I was about to say something, but then suddenly the music stopped, and the lights came on. I saw my mother and father come over to me and they grabbed my arms and led me over to the table with all the food laid out on it.

In the middle of it was a huge cake, with ‘Happy Birthday Chris’ written on it and a big ‘27’ candle in the middle that was lit up. I smiled at my mom. I looked around for Jen, but I could barely see her through the throng of people that were coming around me.

They started singing ‘Happy Birthday’. I looked around me, and saw behind the table of food, where I saw my presents. I was immediately curious when I remembered what Ricky said earlier; about the really expensive present Jen had gotten for me, only because she thought I was mad at her. I felt a twinge of guilt. I couldn't accept it.

“Blow out the candle, son.” my father patted my back. I leaned down and blew out the candle with ease. Everybody cheered.


______


An hour or so later and the party was still going strong. I was standing beside my father, we were both quiet as we watched everyone dance and mingle. We never had really deep conversations, but it was nice just to be beside him. I looked around, noticing some people were leaving. I saw Mia on the dance floor and she had finally convinced Jenny too join her. They were holding each others hands and spinning around, laughing excitedly.

I smiled affectionately at her. It was great too see her so carefree and happy. “She’s a nice young lady.” I looked at my father who was watching everyone dance like I was. I looked back Jen, my smile still plastered on my face.

“And I've seen how you look at her.” I turned back in surprise at my dad. He smiled knowingly. “I don’t think there is any funnier girl out there.” We laughed at that. Of course, he would pick that quality over any others.

Sometime later, around midnight, I was outside talking with Ricky while he had a smoke. I had grabbed my leather jacket knowing it was going to be cold outside, but holy crap, it was freezing. “Have you checked your email lately?” Ricky asked.

I shook my head, no. “Why?”

“We have another tour coming up in a two weeks.” He took a drag of his cigarette. Blowing out the smoke, he looked at me, with curious eyes.

“Shit, really?” I asked. “How long is it? We still got to work on the Reincarnate album.” I sighed. I loved my work, I really did. But the amount of time given sometimes, was insane. “Don’t worry. They know that. We’ll only be gone for a week at most, then we can get back to the new album. It’s a festival in Europe.”

I looked at him surprised. “Jesus. Europe?” I leaned back against the brick alley wall behind me.

“Yeah.” he leaned against the wall beside me.


“Are you sure?” Ricky and I looked up the alley too the voice echoing down towards us. I saw Jen and Mia standing on the sidewalk. By the looks of their stance, they could have been arguing, but the tone suggested otherwise.

“Yes, I’m sure, see there's Tom now.” I saw a silver Honda pull up to the curb. I saw Jens shoulders rise and then droop as she sighed. “I’m sorry, Mia.”

Mia turned to her friend, and gave her a hug. “Don’t worry about it, I understand. I’ll see you at your place, alright?”

“Alright.” She let Mia go, get in the car and drive away. I saw Jen go back down the sidewalk, probably going back inside. Ricky threw his cigarette on ground, stepping on it, making sure it went out. “I’m going back inside, man.” I looked at him and nodded. “I’ll be in a minute.”

He continued his way inside. I waited until the door closed, as I heard it click shut I walked towards where Jen was going. Thinking that maybe this was the perfect opportunity to tell her if she was still outside. I turned around the corner just too see someone grab Jennys arm. And she did not look at all happy that he did that.

“Let me go, or lose your fucking arm.” She growled out.
“Aw, don’t be like that sweetheart. I just want to talk.” he slurred out. Great. He was drunk as fuck. As I got closer to them, I called out, angrily . “I’d listen too the lady if I were you.” He looked over at me, I towered over him.

He looked at me, giving me a drunken smirk. “What, is she your girl?” I raised my eyebrow at him. “No, but that doesn't change the fact that I will kick your ass if you don’t let her go.”

Huh, where did that come from? He let go of her arm, and turned to look up at me. “What are you going on about, ya freak?” I saw him raise his hand to grab my jacket. I saw Jenny grab his wrist, and twist it painfully, he shrieked. I could see rage on her face, pure and simple rage. “Let me ask you something. Cause I don’t think I fucking heard you, what did you fucking call him?” She hissed out.

He tried to get out the words, and each time he did, she twist his wrist a little more. It was safe to say, I was only more attracted to the woman in front of me, who could hold her own. I wasn't even wounded that she was defending me.

She gave his wrist one final twist, and let him go. “Fuck off.” I smirked, “Remind me not to piss you off.” I chuckled as I put my arm around her and led her towards the entrance of the auditorium. I heard the guy shuffle too get too his feet, and try to follow us. I felt a rush of annoyance when I saw him in my peripheral vision, trying to touch her. I let her go, turned and gave him a hard jab in the face with my fist. I felt his nose under my fist, and I felt something shift and crackle beneath my knuckles.

He let out a groan and put his hands too his face as he fell clumsily to his knees. Blood gushed out of his broken nose. I blew out a breath I didn't know I was holding. “Don’t you dare touch her.” I snarled. Ignoring the sudden pain in my knuckles, I put my arm back around Jenny’s shoulders, and we continued on our way.

Once inside we made our way too the room where they let me and the guys get ready. I closed the door behind us. I peeled off my jacket, wincing slightly when I gripped at the leather pulling it off me. Putting it on one of the coat hangers, I told Jen I would be right back. She nodded absently in my direction, and fell onto the couch.

I went into the bathroom, closing the door slightly behind me. I took off my shirt, and looked down at some of the paint still clinging to me. I looked around for a cloth of some sort too wipe the rest of it off.

I picked up some paper towel, and put a little water on it. Better than nothing. Soon, I could see my pale skin covered with tattoos again. I looked at my right hand, which was now turning a lovely shade of purple. I put my shirt back on, and ran some cold water from the sink. I gave myself a few quick splashes of water too my face, then grabbed some more paper towel to get rid of all my black makeup except for my eyebrows.

I clenched my jaw, as I stared down at the sink before me, I gripped one edge of the sink, while my right hand lay flat. That sonofabitch. I straightened out and flexed my fingers, painfully. I put my hand near my back, hopefully away from Jens eyes. I didn't want her too see it.

I walked out the bathroom, too see Jen going through a First Aid kit. “What’s that for?” I asked surprised.

She looked at me, with a look that said. ‘You’re kidding me right?’ “It’s for your hand.” I looked down at my hand, and back up too her. “There is no doubt, you’re sporting a lovely bruise on your hand right now.”

“How did you-?”

“Because if I hit someone that hard, it probably would've done the same thing too me.”

I went and sat beside her, facing my legs towards her. “Hold out your hand.” I held it out, shaking slightly.

“Adrenaline, or pain?” She asked, as she brought out a bandage.

“A little bit of both.” I answered honestly, smiling slightly. She gave me a lopsided grin. She gingerly supported my hand with her left, and began wrapping the bandage around my sore hand. Her touch soothed me in ways I didn't know existed. I looked at her face, that was currently focused on her task.

It was quiet. And it seemed we both reveled in it. “Thank you.” Jen said quietly. Surprised, I replied softly. “I didn't realize you could take care of yourself. If I did, I would've let you handle it.” Well, that felt lame.

She chuckled. “Yes, but I've never had someone defend me before.” She pulled the wrap around one last time, pulling it tightly. I grunted,as pain shot up my arm. She looked at me sympathetically. “Sorry.”

She took two clips out and slid them in place, so the wrap wouldn't move. “Well, it was worth it.” I twisted my hand around, looking at the bandage.

“Thank you for wrapping up my hand.”

She shrugged, grinning like a fool, she grabbed the first aid kit and put it back in its usual spot hanging on the wall behind the counter. Without looking back, she said. “You might want to keep that on, at least until most of the pain goes away. Don’t want you forgetting about it, and make it worse.”

“Yeah, do you mind turning out the main light and turning on those overhanging lights by the kitchen? I feel a headache coming on.”

I could hear water running. “Sure.” the light flicked off, while a dull lighting came from the kitchen. I felt my head relax. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, feeling the annoyance and adrenaline wear off.

“Here.” I opened my eyes, to see Jen holding out Aspirin and a glass of water. I took the water and the pill, quickly swallowing it, too avoid the nasty aftertaste, followed with a gulp of water. I sighed. Putting the glass down, I looked at Jenny who was sitting down beside me. “You always seem to be taking care of me.” I laughed.

She leaned back against the couch, and stared straight ahead. I copied the same movement, letting myself relax.

“I like taking care of the people I care about.” I slithered my left arm around her shoulders, pulling her head too my shoulder. She let out a long breath, letting herself relax against me. “I missed this.” She murmured. “Me too.”

“Hey Jen.” I murmured.

“Hm.”

“I’m sorry about this last week. I've been avoiding you and I just-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re talking too me again.” She tilted her head up slightly, giving me a sad smile. God, I felt nervous all of a sudden.

“But that thing that I wanted to talk to you about. Or what happened here earlier, with me and you.” I started, stuttering slightly.

She shifted into a position that allowed her to put her arms around me, while she leaned on my arm that was around her shoulders. “Yeah?”

“I-I wanted to talk you about the other night. About me saying ‘I love you.’.”

She looked up at me with those deadly hypnotic yellow green eyes, I gripped her shoulder tightly. I couldn't talk. She looked away suddenly, and I felt her shyness come through. If I had to hazard a guess, she was doubtful.

I took my bandaged hand and pulled her face towards mine again. “I want to know if you feel the same.” Then I saw it, the single bright burning flame behind her eyes.

“Yes, I do. But-.” she trailed off. “Why me?”

I looked at her in surprise. I replied, with a bragging tone. “Because you’re beautiful, smart, funny. You’re always on my mind, Jen.” I couldn't help but add. “Why not you?”

I saw her blush. My heart raced in response, and I couldn't stop the smirk that formed on my face. She was about to reply, by the looks of it, reasons of why I shouldn't. Her pink lips trembling with nervousness, and I couldn't take it anymore.

I pulled myself closer, closing my eyes and captured her lips in a speech stopping kiss. I almost thought I took her off guard, as she didn't move. But she quickly responded by putting her hands on my face, pushing me back on the couch, our lips melted together. Her lips felt like heaven, and tasted of cherries. She caught my labret between her teeth and tugged lightly. I groaned, and I moved my hands up too her hair, it felt so soft; I clasped my fingers together behind her head, pulling her closer.

We pulled away to catch our breath. I opened my eyes, and stared into hers. Our lips still connected lightly. I grinned, as did she.

She spoke first. “You have no idea, how much I've been wanting to do that.”

“Oh, I think I have an idea.” Catching her lips again. I felt her climb on top of my lap, her legs on either side of me. I felt my body burn for more of her. Her lips were so soft and smooth, as they moved expertly over my lips. I felt wave a wave of pleasure go through me. I didn't want to stop kissing her, to do more to her, but air became a necessity.

I was panting, my body somehow numb from the experience. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close, she gladly fell forward, resting her head on my shoulder. Her presence and her kiss had taken my breath away, and raised my adrenaline all the further. She snuggled into my shoulder, her arms wrapped loosely around my neck.

“I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you to.” I could hear the smile on her face as she said it.

Notes

Okay. This one seemed really long, and I kept wanting to make it longer. But I had to stop somewhere. Oh well.

Enjoy? :)