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The Letter

Chapter 29

I woke up on the couch next to Oli, there was tea all over the floor, and a broken glass. Shit! I must’ve spilt it. I quickly got up and got a rag and broom and swept it all up. Austin came down stairs moments after I finished and asked why I wasn’t in bed last night. I told him I couldn’t sleep so I stayed down here and read. He was way too tired to give a shit. He made some coffee and handed me a glass.

Today I was going to spend the day to myself and try and decide. First I was going to go to my favorite book store and spend some time in there, then I was going to get some food at this one place that I love, then go to this ballet that I heard about, and then I was going to read at a park for an hour, then hopefully have a decision by then.

“Austin I’m going to take a day to myself. I’ll be home by dinner.” I said then left. I wrote Oli a note and left it on him. I got into my car and drove to my favorite bookstore. I sipped on tea and talked to the workers. They were familiar with me, I’d gone in there a lot in the past few weeks. They were glad to hear about the trial and how it went. They also asked what I was going to do about the Austin-Oli situation. I told them I didn’t know. I bought a few books and then left.

When I got to the restaurant there wasn’t a lot of people there. I ate fries and chicken. One of the workers and I chatted it up for about 30 minutes while she was on break. After I left there I made my way to the place where the ballet was going to be. There were a lot of people there, probably relatives of the kids in the performance. They did a kids version of the nutcracker. It was freezing cold there. The kids were good, but all the parents were talking and taking pictures, and forgetting their flash was on. It was annoying.

I left the ballet and went to the park. I grabbed one of the books I had bought earlier and a pack of cigarettes. I didn’t plan on actually reading, just smoking and thinking about my decision. Austin, I haven’t known that long, but Oli I have. Austin I’ve fucked multiple times, Oli I’ve fucked like, once, I think, if even that. Then I started thinking about when my period was supposed to come, I’m 2 weeks late… and I didn’t even notice. Then I thought about the first time Austin and I had sex… 3 weeks ago. I gasped and got back into my car and drove to the drug store to pick up pregnancy tests.

But if it did say positive, what was I going to do? Stay with Austin? Or go with Oli? I sighed and bought the tests, I got a lot of dirty looks from the people behind me and the cashier. I rolled my eyes and left. I returned to my local book store and asked them to use the restroom. They pointed me to it and smiled. I asked one of the workers, a girl, that I knew the best to come with me. She kept asking what was wrong, I pulled out a test and she gasped. I was like ‘Yeah.’ I walked into the bathroom and stuck the strip thing close to where I would pee. I hope this is how you use one of these things, they don’t teach you this in health class.

I peed and waited for the test to change. 5 minutes became 10 and 10 became 20. After about 30 minutes of waiting the timer went off. I couldn’t check it, so I asked the worker to. She gulped and took it from me. Her eyes grew wide and her grin went ear to ear. “Positive!!” She squealed.

I grabbed the test and stared at it, it was positive. My heart was racing. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I had no fucking idea what to do! Oli or Austin, Oli or Austin. Ugh! This was Austin's baby, it had to be. I hadn’t had sex with anyone else in a long time. I thanked her for her help and got in my car and drove back home. What was I going to do?

When I got home Oli was on the couch with Austin playing Halo, I gulped and sat in the chair that was to the left of the couch. “Hey love.” Oli said smiling, I flashed him a weak smile and played with my fingers nervously. “What’s wrong?” Austin asked pausing the game.

“I uh…”

“You uh… what?” Austin said with some weird hand motions.

“Uh…” I didn’t even know how to say it. I threw them the test and curled up in a ball on the chair and started crying.

“Ashley…” Austin said sympathetically.

“If you don’t want to stay with me it’s okay. I tried so hard to make my decision today, but it was so hard and then that’s when I realized I was 2 weeks late.”

“Ashley… I don’t even know what to say.”

“I got this,” Oli said then walked over to me, “Ashley, love, this is what’s best for you and your child. I don’t want you to think ‘well what if I would’ve chosen the other?’ and regret the decision you made.”

“Oli I don’t know…” I cried.

“Ashley. What does your heart say?”

“My heart’s crying out for you Oli.”

“Austin…” Oli said turning to him.

“Man, I totally understand. And Ashley, please take care of the child, I want to see it when you come to town though.”

I smiled and hugged Austin tightly. I guess it was time to move out and find a place her in LA to stay with Oli for a while, at least until Ricky’s trial is over.