Where Do We Go From Here?

After an endless cycle of washing our faces clean from any cake stains, the four of us—meaning Ronnie, Maria, Tony, and myself—piled into the small living room so Tony could open his presents. I tucked my purse under my arm; which contained the envelope I was planning to give to him. The parents along with Yia Yiá slid onto the couch and living room chairs while the rest of us kids sat on the floor, surrounding the coffee table where Gabby had placed Tony’s gifts.

Gabby handed her son a neatly wrapped box with a sheepish grin on her face. “We couldn’t get you anything extravagant, but I hope you like it.” She explained with a sheepish grin.

“I’ll love whatever you got me, ma.” Tony assured her before tearing open the wrapping paper.

I wasn’t sure who was more excited to see inside the box, Rosie or Tony. Rosie was practically bouncing in her seat with anticipation. Tony smiled gratefully as he revealed the small stack of CD’s and guitar picks in the box. Tony’s face lit up with a smile as he thanked his mother and step-father for the gifts. Pulling them in for a hug, Maria snapped a photo of the three. Rosie got up next, grabbing the small gift bag off the coffee table.

“I made it myself.” She smiled proudly.

Tony grinned back at his younger sister before removing the colorful tissue paper from the bag. He then extracted a beaded bracelet from the bag. It was colorful with Tony’s name perfectly centered in it. There were two turtle shaped beads that sandwiched his name.

“Thanks Rose!” He complimented.

Rosie smiled before throwing herself in her brother’s arms. Tony caught her with ease, just as he’s done any other day. He wrapped her in a hug. The way Tony is with his sister assures me that he’ll be a wonderful father; always supportive and full of love. He’s so patient and loving with Rosie that it was one of the reason I fell for him—that and because he was insistent. Maria was next to hand him a gift. Tony unwrapped it and found some new shirts and a snapback.

“You bought me a new snapback!” Tony excitedly commented while pulling out the shirts as well.

I was starting to feel a little self-conscious about the gift I got him. What his family got him was sweet and humble, and yet my gift—if given here in front of everyone—would seem extravagant. I was beginning to feel a little guilty for spending the amount of money I did on his gift and quickly chucked my purse across the room—it was a subtle toss that no one really noticed; well other than Ronnie who cocked an eyebrow at my gesture.

“I left the gift I got for you at home.” I lied lamely.

Tony smiled. “You didn’t have to get me anything. I’m just glad you’re here.” He assured me and pecked my nose.

I blushed wildly. It was then that my parents handed Tony an envelope. “I wasn’t sure what you were really into.” My father explained.

Tony opened it; his eyes growing wide. “I can’t accept this.” He said after a few moments.

“What is it?” Maria asked.

“It’s—it’s $400.” Tony answered.

“We figured that you’ll need some kind of safety net when you go to New York.” My mother explained.

I winced because I hadn’t told them Tony’s big news. I figured that it didn’t seem fit to tell them because it wasn’t really my news to tell. Tony’s smile slightly slipped as Maria let out a small snort.

“I won’t be going to New York this fall.” Tony explained poignantly.

“But you were accepted into Albany.” My mother pressed.

Tony glanced at me and I offered an apologetic shrug. Out of my family, Ronnie was the only one who knew the real story.

“I—uh, well I’m actually…” Tony was flailing with his words. It was then that I decided to speak up.

“Tony got a scholarship at SDSU. It’s cheaper for him to stay here and the education is just as exceptional as Albany.” I lied with ease. I wasn’t sure who was more surprised at the lie I told, Ronnie or Tony.

I could see Maria, Gabby’s, and Tony’s eyes cut to me. They both held something different in each eye. Maria had a look of shock while Gabby had a look of appreciation. Tony’s eyes was muddled between bashfulness and gratitude. When I caught Ronnie’s expression, her eyes held one of skepticism and on the verge of laughing.

“Oh, that’s so wonderful to hear.” My mother commented.

My father nodded in agreement while saying “I heard they have an excellent psychology department.”

“Yeah, that’s our Tony, always making us proud of his decisions.” Gabby responded. However, only a few of us actually caught on to the undertone of sarcasm tainting her voice.

We left the gift giving at that. My father still insisted that Tony take the money. Tony reluctantly did, but I could see that it slightly bothered him. If there was one thing I knew, it’s that Tony never really liked charity—even though my family’s gift was far from charity. Tony had his pride, and in some ways I understood. My parent’s made a decent living and saw giving $400 not that big of a deal, and if the money’s purpose was for school my parents believe that $400 is hardly a dent to the educational expense—which in all honesty, $400 barely covers textbooks.

It was crawling closer to midnight. My family had left a few hours ago and the rest of Tony’s family had drifted off to bed after cleaning up the mess that we had made. I helped, of course, considering that I had a leading part for the mess that was on the dining room floor.

“Thanks for not telling your parents about my situation.” Tony said while tangling his fingers with mines.

“It’s not my secret to tell.” I replied.

Tony’s small smile slipped from his face. I could see the worry weighing down his features. He was overanalyzing again and it made me a little anxious as well.

“Listen.” I said breaking through the silence. “We still have a few more months before anything drastic happens. Let’s not talk about the future.”

Tony offered me a weak smile. “Carmen wants to find a place for us to live.”

I halted to a complete stop; my hands frozen above the bulky trash bag I was trying to tie up. I was already pale to begin with, but I swear I felt whatever color I had in my face instantly leave. My features were blank, impassive, but with a slight hint of anger and jealousy lingering beneath that thin façade.

“What?” I asked for clarification. I was hoping I heard him wrong.

Tony gulped. “Carmen thinks it’d be best if we lived together once the baby arrives.” He explained; slightly mumbling—he only ever does that when he’s nervous around me, and lately Tony has been tiptoeing around me.

My eyes microscopically narrowed at him. “And what do you think, huh?” It sounded like a challenge; the beginning of an argument I wanted to avoid.

He blinked back at me, like some school boy getting scolding’s from his teacher. These past few weeks have felt like this—like I was the adult and Tony the child who needed my approval and permission. It frustrated me.

“I—I don’t know.” He stuttered out.

Ugh!

“Really? You don’t know?” This time it was a challenge because I was upset as hell that he wouldn’t have outright declined Carmen’s ridiculous offer.

“Verity, you don’t have to get upset about this.” Tony responded.

“But I am!” I cut in. “I’m upset that my boyfriend is actually considering on moving in with his ex who evidently is having his child! I’m upset that the one time I take a chance on a guy and actually fall in love with him that it somehow bites me in the ass! And I’m royally upset that I thought that you would be any different with me!” Once the words were out, I couldn’t take them back. It was as if I had just spewed poison everywhere. I was about to apologize but Tony held up a hand which silenced any noise to make it past my throat.

When I looked at Tony I could see his jaw was taut and that his eyes were a little watery. My deluge of angry truth looked like it was about to break him. And then I felt it, the bounce back of my harsh truth. The little pricks in my eyes made me realize that I was on the verge of crying myself. God, I hate crying!

“I’ll drive you home.” He said quietly.

I was silent while grabbing my purse from the ground. I was stuck in some kind of robot mode while walking to his front door. I could hear the faint jingling of Tony’s keys behind me as I pushed the door open. I walked ahead of him and kept walking. I didn’t stop at the end of the driveway or at his car, I just kept walking. Tony didn’t call after me, he didn’t chase me, he just let me go. it wasn’t until I was at least two blocks away that I called Callie to pick me up. I wasn’t in tears but I wasn’t okay either. I was stone faced and nondescript.

Notes

Whoops! Sorry for the sadness.

I have been gone for too damn long. I blame work and school. Anyway, major, huge, very much apologies for being gone for over a month. I didn't think this chapter would be p today, but I did it. Hope you guys still like this story and once again I sorry for my abandonment. Hopefully, I can update again this week.

Enjoy guys!! <3