Where Do We Go From Here?

I walked down the street with the weight of my bag hitting my back with each step I took. The library was in my sight, and for some reason I couldn’t wait to get there. I guess the anticipation from accomplishing some homework is what did it for me. I fell behind from yesterday’s rendezvous and now I was gonna pay for it since I had to catch up on a chapter’s worth of notes for World History, my Physics chapter questions, and some Calculus problems. Thankfully, for my English class all I had to do was keep a journal log, so that wasn’t exactly stressful to upkeep.

After ordering my sandwich and Passion Tea, I snagged the table in the corner—the same table Tony and I had shared last week. Biting into my sandwich, I flipped through my Physics notes to start on my chapter questions. I remember Mr. Vaughn saying that we were having a quiz coming up soon, so I needed to be sure that I understood my notes. I couldn’t have my grades slip during my senior year. I had applied for early admissions for Columbia, Princeton, and Dartmouth back in August. I was now anticipating from hearing from their admissions office coming next month. I will be a nervous wreck until November, and even then I might still be anxious.

“Dang, you bought lunch already.” Tony commented with a frown on his face.

I looked up at him with knitted brows. “Yeah.” I answered.

He smiled. “I brought calzones.” He held up two bags of Sabarro’s delicious smelling foods.

Offering an apologetic smile, I said “Sorry, I didn’t know you were buying me lunch.”

“It’s fine.” He shrugged. “We can share the second one if you’re still hungry after your sandwich.”

I smiled. “Deal.”

Eating in silence, I had blazed through my Physic’s homework before pulling out my bulky World History textbook. I couldn’t help but think of Carmen as I read about the imports and exports of the English trade system. He always comes crawling back to me. Her words circulated through my head. I tried to ebb it out of my mind, but it seemed to super glued to my memory. I sighed in frustration as I did my best to focus on my work.

I guess Tony saw my agitation because he asked “You alright?”

I debated on whether I would bring up Carmen to him. However, from every bad teen movie I’ve seen through my lifetime I knew that a conversation like this wouldn’t go in my favor. I would either come off as a nagging girlfriend—even though we hadn’t came to official terms just yet—or I’d come off as a nosy person who’s bringing up old wounds. Either way, I’d look like a cliché, insecure girl, worrying about something that he isn’t.

“Just homework.” I lied.

“How’s bout a break, considering you are on your lunch break.” Tony pointed out.

“I think yesterday was a long enough break.” I smiled weakly.

“Yesterday was hardly a long enough break for you.” Tony laughed.

I rolled my eyes at him before going back to my reading, scribbling notes along the way. I tried to reason with myself that I was being ridiculous about the whole Carmen thing. She was his ex, or at least someone he was with before asking me out. The Tony I was starting to know wasn’t a cruel person; he was genuine and sweet and not the kind of guy that would be an asshole, or at least that’s what I was hoping.

“Have you thought about where you wanna go to college?” Tony asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

I nodded a yes while closing my textbook. “I applied to a few already. You know early admissions.”

Tony smiled. “Where did you apply to?” He asked.

“Uh, Columbia, Princeton, and Dartmouth.” I answered before adding “But those schools are really tough to get into.”

Tony’s smile slipped from his face slowly. “Those are all east coast schools.” He said softly.

“Yeah.” I replied.

“So you wanna go to the east coast?” He asked while glancing aware from my face.

“I guess.” I shrugged before saying “Ever since I was a freshmen I always liked the idea of living on the east coast.”

Tony went quiet. I wasn’t sure what occupied his thoughts, but from the look on his face it must’ve been something pensive and thought provoking.

“What about you?” I asked. “Where do you wanna apply to?”

“I was thinking SDSU or maybe some place in Long Beach.” He answered.

“I heard good things about SDSU.” I smiled optimistically.

“Yeah, I guess.” Tony shrugged. “It’s nothing like Princeton or anything.”

His words sounded a little harsh even though his voice was low. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. I opened up my textbook again and resorted back to my homework. I wasn’t sure why he sounded so surprised at the sound of me applying to these universities. A part of me wondered if Tony thought our relationship would carry beyond high school. Although that seemed ideal, it also seemed a little wishful and impractical. I didn’t want to doubt our relationship, but I couldn’t see how we were gonna work things out if Tony planned on staying west bound while I wanted to venture to the east.

“Maybe I can apply to the east coast. Maybe some place like Boston University.” Tony commented thoughtfully.

“You could, but only if that’s what you want.” I replied.

Tony sighed. “You know, Stanford is just as prestigious as Princeton.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I remarked. I sighed before saying “Where do you see our relationship going, Tony?”

He looked a little startled at my bluntness, but I wanted an answer. I knew we were on this ticking time limit, but the way Tony was talking made me wonder if he was aware that we might not be a we if I were to get accepted into any of those schools.

Tony rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want you to leave.” He admitted shyly.

I gulped from his confession; unsure how I felt from it. Everything with Tony felt new and exciting, but I knew what I wanted and it has nothing to do with staying in San Diego once I graduate.

To avoid an argument or having a discussion that neither Tony nor I am ready for, I said “I won’t leave you anytime soon.”

“You’ll be leaving eventually.” Tony mumbled.

I sighed. “Let’s just enjoy our time together. Besides, there’s a fat chance I might not get in. Do you know how many straight A students apply at these schools?” I asked.

Tony shook his head no.

“There’s a sea of straight A students like myself, and rejection rate is nearly just as high.” I nearly exclaimed.

Tony bit his lip, weakly smiling as he did so. “But I know you’ll get in Verity.”

I shook my head. “Tony, let’s not talk about it until I hear back from them, okay?”

“Deal.” He smiled as we went back to our thoughts.

Mines circled around the anticipation of getting into those universities with the added trouble of Carmen on my mind. It was one thing to worry about college because every senior does, but now I’m faced with my sister’s well being, my parent’s fragile marriage state, and now to top it off a jealous past flings of Tony’s. It was like my rollercoaster life kept on piling higher, and all the while I was waiting for the drop.

Before leaving the library, I had told Tony that I couldn’t come over to his house even though I promised his sister I would face with her today. Being grounded meant that I had a shorter leash, restricting me from upholding certain promises. He told me not to worry about it and that he understood. However, I still felt bad that I was technically backing out of my promise. I walked back into Urban Wreck with a weight lifted from my shoulders since I managed to accomplish my Physics and World History homework.

“Your parents dropped off your car keys when you were on break. They said they parked it in the back lot.” Charlie informed me when I clocked back in.

“Thanks.” I smiled. “Hey Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

“Say a girl tells you that the guy you’re seeing will come ‘crawling back to them’, how would you approach that to the guy you’re seeing?” I asked curiously.

Charlie scoffed. “I’d hit her, simple as that.” She joked.

“I’m being serious.” I laughed.

“Personally, I wouldn’t bring it up. If the guy you’re seeing is that big of a prick then I’d say good riddance. You don’t want to have yourself worrying about something like that.” Charlie remarked.

I nodded, taking her word into consideration as I tossed my bag into the backroom. She was right; I shouldn’t be worrying about anything. Work carried on uneventful as I watched the clock tick closer and closer until I was finally free to go home.

Notes

Bleh "/

Hope you guys like this chapter.

Thanks for reading <3