If I Could Turn Back Time
Solitude
Aurora's POV:
Over the past week that I've spent of isolating myself in my bedroom there is one thing that I've come to understand. Life is unfair. You always find yourself putting someone first who puts you second, you study your ass off for an exam only to get a C, you give one hundred and ten percent to someone in a relationship who only gives forty percent or you're there for a best friend at three a.m yet the next day they won't pick up their phone. In life it always seems Iike you're giving everyone everything and they're just walking away with it. But you see, that's just life. At least that's what I've come to learn.
Ever since Mike and Uncle Alan's argument last week I haven't come out of my room except to go to the bathroom and get some food of course. Nor have I spoken a single word to either Mum or Mike. Not even a squeak.
The peace has given me a lot of time to think, I'm not sure what about exactly but if I was constantly questioned by either of them I'd never figure it out. They tried to get me to come out the next day but it didn't take them very long to give up.
Most people would think that the way I'm acting is anti-social behavior but I find the solitude very healthy. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by other people. Such as your over protective parents or lack there of in some parts.
Ultimately I think that's what I've needed all this time to think about it. Who I am. I feel like my whole life I've been labelled at school by all the other kids. I was the girl without a dad, the girl with the 'weird' mum, the girl with the rockstar step dad, the sick girl, the girl whose Mum killed someone.
I was never just Aurora, and that's who I want to be. I don't want to be definded or categorized as someone I'm not anymore. I won't let my parents or my disease be who I am anymore. I'm not just a face, I'm a person with feelings who deserves to be treated like everyone else.
I mean sure I'm not exactly normal but who decides what normal is? I sure as hell feel normal, doesn't that count? Well the only time I feel like I'm just the 'normal' Rory is when I'm with the only two people who see me as just that... Sab and Trent.
But now I'm putting my foot down, I'm Aurora Grace Bennett and no one will decide who I am anymore, no one but me. And there's one person in particular who won't define who I am anymore, and he has to know that. I've spent too much time in my life wondering about the 'what if' moments and the 'maybe if my dad was here' moments. But not anymore.
So im going to pick myself up and stop the moping. I'm leaving this bedroom tonight and I'm going to that Of Mice And Men show with Sab tonight like I promised.
Austin Carlile will not define who I am anymore.
Over the past week that I've spent of isolating myself in my bedroom there is one thing that I've come to understand. Life is unfair. You always find yourself putting someone first who puts you second, you study your ass off for an exam only to get a C, you give one hundred and ten percent to someone in a relationship who only gives forty percent or you're there for a best friend at three a.m yet the next day they won't pick up their phone. In life it always seems Iike you're giving everyone everything and they're just walking away with it. But you see, that's just life. At least that's what I've come to learn.
Ever since Mike and Uncle Alan's argument last week I haven't come out of my room except to go to the bathroom and get some food of course. Nor have I spoken a single word to either Mum or Mike. Not even a squeak.
The peace has given me a lot of time to think, I'm not sure what about exactly but if I was constantly questioned by either of them I'd never figure it out. They tried to get me to come out the next day but it didn't take them very long to give up.
Most people would think that the way I'm acting is anti-social behavior but I find the solitude very healthy. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by other people. Such as your over protective parents or lack there of in some parts.
Ultimately I think that's what I've needed all this time to think about it. Who I am. I feel like my whole life I've been labelled at school by all the other kids. I was the girl without a dad, the girl with the 'weird' mum, the girl with the rockstar step dad, the sick girl, the girl whose Mum killed someone.
I was never just Aurora, and that's who I want to be. I don't want to be definded or categorized as someone I'm not anymore. I won't let my parents or my disease be who I am anymore. I'm not just a face, I'm a person with feelings who deserves to be treated like everyone else.
I mean sure I'm not exactly normal but who decides what normal is? I sure as hell feel normal, doesn't that count? Well the only time I feel like I'm just the 'normal' Rory is when I'm with the only two people who see me as just that... Sab and Trent.
But now I'm putting my foot down, I'm Aurora Grace Bennett and no one will decide who I am anymore, no one but me. And there's one person in particular who won't define who I am anymore, and he has to know that. I've spent too much time in my life wondering about the 'what if' moments and the 'maybe if my dad was here' moments. But not anymore.
So im going to pick myself up and stop the moping. I'm leaving this bedroom tonight and I'm going to that Of Mice And Men show with Sab tonight like I promised.
Austin Carlile will not define who I am anymore.
Notes
Just a quick update before shit goes down in the next chapter! This is an insight into Rory's mind after the big fight. So she's thinking Austin is the main issue. Can he sway her mind or is she stuck in the mud about his absence? Keep reading for more. Thanks for reading everyone!!!! <3
I haven't been on this website for ages but now I'm so happy to see that you posted new chapters (I don't know when though haha). I love your story as always !
1/5/16