If I Could Turn Back Time
Superpowers
Austin's POV:
I had the window seat on the plane, I always do, but for once I didn't want it and I was surely regretting taking the seat right now as I looked out over Brisbane City. Just the sight of the golden sand made my stomach turn, my fear of this day was surreal but it had to come. This was the bands first time to come back to Australia since, well.. Leilani. Even just saying her name in my head was like poison, causing goosebumps to raise on my tanned skin. I'd refused to do a tour in Australia for sixteen, long years because of her but with the band breaking up and all I gave into the guys pleads to do one last tour here. Let me tell you, we hadn't even landed yet and I wanted to go home. I pulled the shade of the window down not baring to stare out any longer.
"Excuse me sir but we are preparing to land, I'll have to ask you to pull the shade back up please," I didn't bother arguing back with the flight attendant, I just did what she said and closed my eyes for the next ten minutes of a restless landing.
The guys didn't bother trying to reassure me of our time spent here on tour nor did they try to calm me down when I ripped some guy a new asshole for running into me when we were leaving the airport out into the car park. I'm one hundred percent sure they expected this reaction from me and were just doing their best to conceal the concern.
"Guys I'm going in a different car, Tarni asked me to run an errand while I'm over here so I'll catch up with yous later at the bus," Alan informed us, seemingly only confusing me and not the others.
"Do you want some company I can tag along?" I offered hoping it might take my mind off of her. He just shook his head and turned away and when I looked to Tino and Phil for an answer they did the same and jumped onto our bus that awaited us. Me and Aaron following their suit.
"It's probably for the best you don't go with him, you'd only see people who don't want to see you," it was if he read my mind and his words countered exactly what I thought Alan was doing.
"Is he?" I didn't have to finish, he knew what I was asking.
"Think about it? Who else would there be to see that Tarni wants to check up on?" he was pushing the boundary and he knew it but that didn't stop him.
"No one.." I trailed off not letting myself think about Leilani's daughter. Aaron just shook his head, they were always trying to get me to 'make things right' but they just didn't understand.After sixteen years, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't just run back saying 'Hey I'm your Dad lets pretend I've been here this whole time!' It just didn't work that way and I doubt Leilani even told her daughter who her real father was, for all she knew it was Mike and he was better for her than I ever could be.
I have to admit, even though I was mad at him for so long I had to give him credit, he took Lani under his wing and raised a little girl that wasn't even his like his own. It takes a real man to do that and from the day I told Lani to leave up until now I regretted not stepping up to the plate. I wasn't and never will be a real man, I'm just a coward and no matter how much I regretted it, that didn't clear my conscience nor make anything I did okay. So every day I checked Mike's instagram for updates on Aurora but they rarely came, he didn't seem to like having her in the spotlight and I didn't blame him. Leilani deleted her account back when we broke up so there was never any news from her and Alan or Tarni never mentioned the girls or Mike even though I knew they were in contact all the time. I didn't know what she looked like nor did I know anything about her except for her name because Alan thought I should at least be allowed that privilege. It was probably better that way in the end.
As much as I'd love to be a normal, happy family with them I blew that chance and I'd accepted I'd never get the privilege to call them 'mine' so I put on a hard act and pretended that I didn't want to see them. I'd hope that I'd say it so much to everyone else that I'd believe it but that day never came, I couldn't lie to myself.
As I broke out of my trance I noticed that we were hot on Alan's trail down the highway but I knew that was only temporary until he took the exit he needed and we continued to the venue of our first show. When I looked to Aaron across from me who was sprawled out on the lounge reading some book I hoped for some of his wisdom but it never came so I stood myself up and reached for the x-box. Hopefully playing a bit of Destiny would distract me.
*****
The drive to the venue was relevantly short but still long enough for me to doze off mid-game and not long enough for Alan to have come back yet. I checked all of his social media for any sign of where he may be but lets be honest here, all the stalking I did wouldn't uncover his whereabouts. It was something he'd like to hide from me for my sake because he thinks he's doing some great injustice but it was quite the opposite. I was snapped from my thoughts at the allowed mention of Alan's name down the other end of the bus and got up to join in on the guys conversation.
"Do you think she has a boyfriend?" Phil sounded from his bunk.
"Or a girlfriend?" Tino called as he rummaged through his bag trying to locate god knows what.
"Scandalous, I like it!" Phil cat growled making me chuckle even thought I had no idea who or what they were talking about. They hadn't noticed my presence standing by the bunks but I didn't dare interrupt.
"We all know that any kid to go near her would be dead," Aaron said matter-of-factly.
"Literally," Tino joked back causing a stifling laugh from everyone.
"Alan will tell us when he gets back," Aaron informed the group.
"Tell us what?" I asked genuinely curious. The guys turned now only just noticing my presence as they fell into an awkward silence.
"Uh noth-" Aaron tried to subtly cover up the conversation until Phil let it all come to light.
"Alan'sgoingtoseeLeilaniandAuroraandthat'swhywecamehereaweekbeforethetourstarted," his words were spilled from his mouth like they were glued together as he rambled on the explanation. My face must have dropped because they were shooting me apologetic looks and whispered meaningless nothings to try and express their guilt.
"You weren't supposed to know man," Tino had jumped up from his earlier position now and had his hand on my shoulder blade as he tried to comfort me.
"It's cool why would I want to go see the bitch anyway?" I faked my response as I tried to give the cold shoulder to the situation but apparently it didn't work. They saw straight through my act.
"Dude you don't have to lie anymore, we know you're sorry for what you did," Aaron was now engulfing me in a man hug slightly making the butterflies in my stomach ease.
"I-" I couldn't go on, they were right I needed to stop lying., "I just want to see my daughter," I huffed finally letting out how I've felt all these years. It was like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders and nothing was or could weigh me down anymore.
"I probably shouldn't do this but do you want the address?" Tino was handing me a piece of paper that had an address scribbled in Alan's messy writing he must have taken down talking to Lani on the phone.
"You couldn't go inside or anything but you might see her if their outside or something," Aaron explained but his words were obvious, of course I couldn't just stride in there but I'd take what I could get. I looked down at the crumpled paper and typed it into Google Maps on my phone before jumping out of the bus and into the BMW parked just outside.
"Forty-Two Wattle Cane Way, I'm coming for you," I said under my breath to myself as I took off in the direction the GPS directed me. It wasn't far from where from the venue which meant she hadn't moved to far from where she used to live with her Dad not too far from the city. Now that I thought of it, I wonder how he and Michelle is? I suppose I'll never really know.
It took me all of ten minutes to reach the address Tino had given me and let me tell you, it was fucking rich. I don't know how in the world Leilani afforded it but then again I don't know what she's been doing over the last decade and more. The house was only a one story and simple but nicely done, the smooth tiles and large glass windows and the huge bellowing wooden door made it very inviting. The garden was well kept but I wouldn't put the past Leilani, being the perfectionist that I knew her to be. I'd only hoped she'd never changed, she was perfect. Thinking of Leilani made me remember why I was here making my stomach churn.
My entire being itched as I waited for something to happen while I waited ever so patiently in the car from across the road. Surely no one would have noticed my arrival since there were several other black, fancy cars parked down the street. Other bands of course here to see their dear friends. That's when I saw it, the flash of red hair on Alan's lump of a head walk by in the window causing me to sit upright in the drivers seat waiting for anyone else to walk by. But they didn't and Alan kept walking until he walked past again, this time with a drink in his hand. I let out a sigh at the disappointment and turned to my phone, I could be playing this waiting game for a while.
Or not as long as I thought when my phone buzzed in my hand reading Alan's name at the top of the screen. I clicked on the notification to open his text and was shocked by what I was reading.
Ginger Princess: I can see you out there, you're not so subtle and you're lucky no one else has noticed you. You better get out of here before the wrong person see's you. I'm literally giving you ten milliseconds to see her and then you have to leave.
How the fuck did he see me in the split second it took him to walk by that window. Does he have superpowers? As I re-read the message confused at his words it all clicked when he had said 'her'.
"Aurora," I whispered her name as my head shot up burning holes through the cars tinted window as I waited hopefully for her to appear. As I waited a shadow became to form and grew larger as it closed in on the window revealing a tall, slim, blonde woman with Alan following close behind leaving me disappointed. That wasn't Aurora, why not you ask? Because Aurora wasn't some forty-odd year old woman. In fact, I didn't know who it was. What the fuck was Alan getting at? The lady seemed as if she was laughing and her head looked back in the other direction as she began to walk away. Alan waited and when she was out of sight he waved his hand gesturing for me to leave, so I did. Dazed and confused with no comfort at all.
The guys were right, they shouldn't have let me come here. It only made me feel worse.
I had the window seat on the plane, I always do, but for once I didn't want it and I was surely regretting taking the seat right now as I looked out over Brisbane City. Just the sight of the golden sand made my stomach turn, my fear of this day was surreal but it had to come. This was the bands first time to come back to Australia since, well.. Leilani. Even just saying her name in my head was like poison, causing goosebumps to raise on my tanned skin. I'd refused to do a tour in Australia for sixteen, long years because of her but with the band breaking up and all I gave into the guys pleads to do one last tour here. Let me tell you, we hadn't even landed yet and I wanted to go home. I pulled the shade of the window down not baring to stare out any longer.
"Excuse me sir but we are preparing to land, I'll have to ask you to pull the shade back up please," I didn't bother arguing back with the flight attendant, I just did what she said and closed my eyes for the next ten minutes of a restless landing.
The guys didn't bother trying to reassure me of our time spent here on tour nor did they try to calm me down when I ripped some guy a new asshole for running into me when we were leaving the airport out into the car park. I'm one hundred percent sure they expected this reaction from me and were just doing their best to conceal the concern.
"Guys I'm going in a different car, Tarni asked me to run an errand while I'm over here so I'll catch up with yous later at the bus," Alan informed us, seemingly only confusing me and not the others.
"Do you want some company I can tag along?" I offered hoping it might take my mind off of her. He just shook his head and turned away and when I looked to Tino and Phil for an answer they did the same and jumped onto our bus that awaited us. Me and Aaron following their suit.
"It's probably for the best you don't go with him, you'd only see people who don't want to see you," it was if he read my mind and his words countered exactly what I thought Alan was doing.
"Is he?" I didn't have to finish, he knew what I was asking.
"Think about it? Who else would there be to see that Tarni wants to check up on?" he was pushing the boundary and he knew it but that didn't stop him.
"No one.." I trailed off not letting myself think about Leilani's daughter. Aaron just shook his head, they were always trying to get me to 'make things right' but they just didn't understand.After sixteen years, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't just run back saying 'Hey I'm your Dad lets pretend I've been here this whole time!' It just didn't work that way and I doubt Leilani even told her daughter who her real father was, for all she knew it was Mike and he was better for her than I ever could be.
I have to admit, even though I was mad at him for so long I had to give him credit, he took Lani under his wing and raised a little girl that wasn't even his like his own. It takes a real man to do that and from the day I told Lani to leave up until now I regretted not stepping up to the plate. I wasn't and never will be a real man, I'm just a coward and no matter how much I regretted it, that didn't clear my conscience nor make anything I did okay. So every day I checked Mike's instagram for updates on Aurora but they rarely came, he didn't seem to like having her in the spotlight and I didn't blame him. Leilani deleted her account back when we broke up so there was never any news from her and Alan or Tarni never mentioned the girls or Mike even though I knew they were in contact all the time. I didn't know what she looked like nor did I know anything about her except for her name because Alan thought I should at least be allowed that privilege. It was probably better that way in the end.
As much as I'd love to be a normal, happy family with them I blew that chance and I'd accepted I'd never get the privilege to call them 'mine' so I put on a hard act and pretended that I didn't want to see them. I'd hope that I'd say it so much to everyone else that I'd believe it but that day never came, I couldn't lie to myself.
As I broke out of my trance I noticed that we were hot on Alan's trail down the highway but I knew that was only temporary until he took the exit he needed and we continued to the venue of our first show. When I looked to Aaron across from me who was sprawled out on the lounge reading some book I hoped for some of his wisdom but it never came so I stood myself up and reached for the x-box. Hopefully playing a bit of Destiny would distract me.
*****
The drive to the venue was relevantly short but still long enough for me to doze off mid-game and not long enough for Alan to have come back yet. I checked all of his social media for any sign of where he may be but lets be honest here, all the stalking I did wouldn't uncover his whereabouts. It was something he'd like to hide from me for my sake because he thinks he's doing some great injustice but it was quite the opposite. I was snapped from my thoughts at the allowed mention of Alan's name down the other end of the bus and got up to join in on the guys conversation.
"Do you think she has a boyfriend?" Phil sounded from his bunk.
"Or a girlfriend?" Tino called as he rummaged through his bag trying to locate god knows what.
"Scandalous, I like it!" Phil cat growled making me chuckle even thought I had no idea who or what they were talking about. They hadn't noticed my presence standing by the bunks but I didn't dare interrupt.
"We all know that any kid to go near her would be dead," Aaron said matter-of-factly.
"Literally," Tino joked back causing a stifling laugh from everyone.
"Alan will tell us when he gets back," Aaron informed the group.
"Tell us what?" I asked genuinely curious. The guys turned now only just noticing my presence as they fell into an awkward silence.
"Uh noth-" Aaron tried to subtly cover up the conversation until Phil let it all come to light.
"Alan'sgoingtoseeLeilaniandAuroraandthat'swhywecamehereaweekbeforethetourstarted," his words were spilled from his mouth like they were glued together as he rambled on the explanation. My face must have dropped because they were shooting me apologetic looks and whispered meaningless nothings to try and express their guilt.
"You weren't supposed to know man," Tino had jumped up from his earlier position now and had his hand on my shoulder blade as he tried to comfort me.
"It's cool why would I want to go see the bitch anyway?" I faked my response as I tried to give the cold shoulder to the situation but apparently it didn't work. They saw straight through my act.
"Dude you don't have to lie anymore, we know you're sorry for what you did," Aaron was now engulfing me in a man hug slightly making the butterflies in my stomach ease.
"I-" I couldn't go on, they were right I needed to stop lying., "I just want to see my daughter," I huffed finally letting out how I've felt all these years. It was like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders and nothing was or could weigh me down anymore.
"I probably shouldn't do this but do you want the address?" Tino was handing me a piece of paper that had an address scribbled in Alan's messy writing he must have taken down talking to Lani on the phone.
"You couldn't go inside or anything but you might see her if their outside or something," Aaron explained but his words were obvious, of course I couldn't just stride in there but I'd take what I could get. I looked down at the crumpled paper and typed it into Google Maps on my phone before jumping out of the bus and into the BMW parked just outside.
"Forty-Two Wattle Cane Way, I'm coming for you," I said under my breath to myself as I took off in the direction the GPS directed me. It wasn't far from where from the venue which meant she hadn't moved to far from where she used to live with her Dad not too far from the city. Now that I thought of it, I wonder how he and Michelle is? I suppose I'll never really know.
It took me all of ten minutes to reach the address Tino had given me and let me tell you, it was fucking rich. I don't know how in the world Leilani afforded it but then again I don't know what she's been doing over the last decade and more. The house was only a one story and simple but nicely done, the smooth tiles and large glass windows and the huge bellowing wooden door made it very inviting. The garden was well kept but I wouldn't put the past Leilani, being the perfectionist that I knew her to be. I'd only hoped she'd never changed, she was perfect. Thinking of Leilani made me remember why I was here making my stomach churn.
My entire being itched as I waited for something to happen while I waited ever so patiently in the car from across the road. Surely no one would have noticed my arrival since there were several other black, fancy cars parked down the street. Other bands of course here to see their dear friends. That's when I saw it, the flash of red hair on Alan's lump of a head walk by in the window causing me to sit upright in the drivers seat waiting for anyone else to walk by. But they didn't and Alan kept walking until he walked past again, this time with a drink in his hand. I let out a sigh at the disappointment and turned to my phone, I could be playing this waiting game for a while.
Or not as long as I thought when my phone buzzed in my hand reading Alan's name at the top of the screen. I clicked on the notification to open his text and was shocked by what I was reading.
Ginger Princess: I can see you out there, you're not so subtle and you're lucky no one else has noticed you. You better get out of here before the wrong person see's you. I'm literally giving you ten milliseconds to see her and then you have to leave.
How the fuck did he see me in the split second it took him to walk by that window. Does he have superpowers? As I re-read the message confused at his words it all clicked when he had said 'her'.
"Aurora," I whispered her name as my head shot up burning holes through the cars tinted window as I waited hopefully for her to appear. As I waited a shadow became to form and grew larger as it closed in on the window revealing a tall, slim, blonde woman with Alan following close behind leaving me disappointed. That wasn't Aurora, why not you ask? Because Aurora wasn't some forty-odd year old woman. In fact, I didn't know who it was. What the fuck was Alan getting at? The lady seemed as if she was laughing and her head looked back in the other direction as she began to walk away. Alan waited and when she was out of sight he waved his hand gesturing for me to leave, so I did. Dazed and confused with no comfort at all.
The guys were right, they shouldn't have let me come here. It only made me feel worse.
Notes
Leilani's and Aurora's HouseSoooo Austin's here!!!! And he's showing a bit of remorse and regret, does that make you un-angry at him? Will he drop the tough act anytime soon? What is Alan going to do about Austin? Did Austin really just not recognise Leilani? What a hobo! Keep reading to find out!
Soooo I would like to say a huge sorry for being so fucking lazy with updating. I've just started full-time work and it's exhausted me over the past couple of weeks but I'm getting used to it now and have the motivation to write again. AlsoI've had a bit of a bump in the road with some personal issues, my family found out my Dad has a brain tumor and it's been pretty crazy at home right now but today we found out it wasn't cancerous so I'm not so upset anymore and makes me and my Mum stress less however the hospital appointments get tiring and confusing with all the big doctor words but it'll all be over soon after his surgery. So fingers crossed all goes well and thank you for not going crazy at me for not updating while I've been away!! Love yous!
Anyway thank you to all my new subscribers and to those of you who commented and waited ages for this chapter, I'm so sorry it took so long and hope to upload more regularly. Also I got my laptop back after three months so I'm not uploading off my phone anymore which also makes writing easier. P.S: sorry for the huge note haha!
I haven't been on this website for ages but now I'm so happy to see that you posted new chapters (I don't know when though haha). I love your story as always !
1/5/16