Product Of A Murderer

"Scout, it's your turn to share to the group." Mary the therapist says

"Um...pass" I say

"Sweetheart, you need to share." She replies "you haven't shared."

"Fuck..." I start. "What do I say?"

"Anything"

"Umm okay..." I pause "my name is Scout and I'm here because the manger, shrink person at the hospital I was in wanted me to start group. I'm 21 and the last time I tried to kill myself was, eh... three months ago."

"What did you do?" One of the others in the group, a girl, asks.

"I slit my wrists open..."

"Go on" Mary says

"Why? I have nothing else to say."

"Why did you try and commit suicide?" She adds

"Um...I dunno." I sit for a second "when I was six I watch my dad kill my mom. He stabbed her to death. He killed her because she wouldn't tell him where I was..." I can feel everyone stare at me, I can feel their eyes fixed on me, I can feel the shock in the room. "She died protecting me from him, and I watched her get killed." I can feel my voice crack "if I would have just went to him, came out of the closet when he yelled for me...she would be alive." Im crying now. 'Fuck!' "So to answer your question, I keep trying to kill myself because everynight when I go to sleep all I dream about is that night. All I see is my mom getting murdered by my father. And every morning I wake up wishing that he would have killed me."

Silence...

"Scout..." Mary starts before I inturupt

"I watched as my mother was killed, she died saving me, and all I want to do is die. At school I was bullied, I was told, by teachers that I was just like him, I was destined for 'failure' and prison. I was told that he should have killed me." I pause for a second to do compose myself "so I keep trying to kill myself. I've tried countless times to kill myself. I'll always be one bad day away from killing myself."

"Scout I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that." She says

"Don't be, I don't need anyone's pitty. I'm the product of a murderer, what can you do?" Before anyone else had a chance to talk I leve. "I don't need this shit."

I stand up and storm out the door.

"Scout wait!" Nikki, my best friend yells after me.

"Nik! I don't need this! They can send me back to the hospital, I don't care!" I scream, I feel my face go hot and the stinging of the tears as they fall from my eyes.

"Scout, it's okay to cry." She says pulling me into a hug. I hug her back and cry on her shoulder. "You don't have to go back, I'll talk to Kelly" Nikki is the only person I've ever been able to trust or talk to.

I pull away from the hug, and wipe my eyes. "I'm hungry"

"Me too, hey do you want to meet my brother?" She asks

"We have been friends for years and I have never met him, how does that happen?" I laugh

"Because he is always out of town, but he's in town tonight and he wants to meet my best friend."

"Is he cute?" I ask jokingly

She playfully punches me "Scout he's my brother, why would think he's cute?"

"I dunno" I laugh.

"Well let's go eat. I'll call him and have him meet us."

"Cool cool."

"You're such a nerd."

I can't believe that I am FINALLY meeting her brother. All I know about him is that his name is Austin, he's 27, and he travles a lot for his job. What his job is... I have no idea. All I know is that I want him to like me.

Notes

Well her is Chapter 1 hope you liked it.

I may be taking it be adding more detail to it later on. But if I do I'll let ya know.

I'm starting this out as a one-shot to test the waters. If you want more comment, or I will think people don't like it and won't update it.If there are no comments on this within a weeks time, I will leave it as a one-shot and mark it as complete unless high demand occurs later on.

Thanks.