Native Tongue

I was broken. I watched who I thought was my father being buried. There was a slight over cast, and it was oddly chilly. Austin stood by my side, as I stood motionless. He met who I thought was my family, and if I never founded out I was adopted, then I would have to say Austin meeting my family was a success. I don't care if they like him or not at this point, and all that matters at this point is what I think of him.

I began to get more lost in the idea of how do I approach my "mom" about this. It astonishes me that they hid this from me for 20 years. Then there's the fact that I'm at a funeral for a man who I thought all along was my father. The thoughts, the emotions, they were endless. I feel sick.
"Everything is going to be okay," Austin said, whispering into my ear. I smiled to try and hide that I'm not okay.

After the funeral I went home, while my family met up at my grandmothers house for food and drinks. I wasn't up for the challenge. What I was up for is to pack my shit and leave. I wanted to be in my own home with my best friend. Really living here or growing up here brought me nothing, but lies, pain, and sadness. I'm done.

My mom got home a little tipsy than usual. She was more than buzzed, but most of all sad. You can tell she drowned her loss in booze. I wasn't up for talking to anyone. Austin, and I called it a night pretty early. Tonight he held me closer than usual. He knew I was hurting, and he was sorry. I felt numb. No emotions. The heavy feeling wouldn't leave the atmosphere, and I was suffocating. I silently cried myself to sleep, while Austin just listened.

I woke up to the smell of rain. The bedroom windows were open, and it was comforting. It rained. It washed the city anew, and I wished it washed me new. Austin was still asleep, and I headed out to the living room. I saw that my mom was watching tv, and took the opportunity to confront her about the situation.

"Good morning sweetie," she said cheerfully.

"Hey .." I muttered.

"What's wrong?" she said, looking at me with concerned eyes.

"We really need to talk mom," I said coldly. I took a deep breath preparing for the words that were about to escape my mouth. "How come you and dad never told me I'm adopted?" I stated. My mom looked away so she wouldn't have took me in the eye.

"Sooner or later you were going to find out. I didn't know how I would tell you after your father died. We were suppose to do it together," she saddened.

"Either way you should have told me. For twenty years I've assumed that I'm a Taylor. I feel like apart of me is missing now," I scolded.

"You are Taylor and always will be. Your father, and I adopted you because at the time we were trying. I was broken hearted by the fact I was unable to get pregnant. I wasn't ovulating, and the doctor recommended adopting. So that's what we did. Your blood mother was pregnant with you at the age of 16, and she didn't want to burden you by not being able to afford the the necessities a child needs. We were brought to her attention by a family friend. She chose your dad and I to take care of you. To adopt you. That's what exactly we did. When I first met you Aria your eyes were a deep sea blue, and I fell in love with the fact I was going to be your mother. I couldn't wait. Your father and I watched you grow up into this beautiful young adult, and I knew it was that time to tell you," she said.

"I just wish you would've told me rather than me finding out on my own," I stated.

"As do I. I'm so sorry sweetie," she said pulling me in holding me. "Your father and I stayed I contact with your birth mother. If you want to meet her, she'll be more than happy to meet you," she said.

"I'd be up for the challenge, but not right now. I need sometime to adjust, and I really want to get back to start school," I sighed. "Especially Austin, he needs to get back home because he had put his life on hold for me when he didn't have to. Our flight is booked for tonight," I said.
"Alright honey. I'm glad the both of you came. Before you go I want you to know that no matter what I will always be your mother," she said kissing me on the forehead.

That evening Austin, and I headed home to Santa Monica. Our flight landed around 10. We walked out of the gate to see a gentlemen with the longest brown hair, with a huge grin on his face, holding a sign that said, "Austin + lady Aria = ♥" I giggled at the sign. It was sweet.

"Hey Phil!" Austin said giving him a hug.

"Sup Carlile," he responded. "And hello to you too lady Aria," he said hugging me. I looked at the sign "Alan made it," he said answering my question.

"I love it!" I said smiling.

"Alan will be glad," he said.

"Thank you for picking us up by the way. Do you and the boys have any plans for tonight?" Austin asked.

"Always. Actually I'm not only here to pick you guys up, but to take you to this bonfire the guys from Bring Me The Horizon are hosting. Its a get together before warped tour," he explained.

"We'll go. If you could just take me home to get changed," I said. I checked my phone to see an infinite amount of messages from Hannah.

Hannah ♥ Darling:
"Hey babe I miss you."

The texts were endless. Phil dropped me off to get ready. I walked up the steps to my house, and opened the door to see Ryan sitting on my couch.

"Fuck," I muttered.

Notes