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Would You Still Be There

7 - Alan

I starting to make conversation with my parents at the dinner table, noticing how awkward Austin must have felt talking to my parents. I looked down at Austin’s plate and frowned. He had barely eaten anything on his plate, and seemed to just be pushing the food around.

I shrugged it off as nothing, he probably just wasn’t hungry. Or maybe he didn’t like what my mom had made. I felt bad, maybe I should have asked him what he liked. There wasn’t anything I could do about it now though, so I excused Austin and I back up to my room.

I hadn’t told my parents about getting beat up yet, and I wasn’t planning on it anytime soon. At dinner it seemed that they hadn’t noticed my injuries, so I figured I was okay.

By the time we’d gotten up the stairs, I’d noticed how out of breath Austin was. I frowned, even I could get up the stairs without trouble, considering I never worked out. I shrugged it off once again, Austin being a little out of shape wasn’t a big deal.

Once we’d made it to my room, we agreed to put in a movie. Austin gave me a strange look when I grabbed 500 days of Summer off my desk and put it into the DVD player. I just looked at him and shrugged, trying to not make it obvious that I’d seen this movie a few hundred times.

As the movie played I silently mouthed along with the words, I couldn’t help it. I snuck a glance at Austin from time to time but he seemed to distracted to notice how invested I was in the movie. I briefly wondered what he was thinking about, he seemed lost in his own world, oblivious to his surroundings. Or so I thought.

About halfway through the movie I started to get tired, gradually moving closer and closer to Austin until my head was laying on his chest. I looked up at him to see if he cared, but yet again he didn’t seem to notice. I let my eyes shut, breathing in the scent of fresh shampoo and cologne coming from Austin. I smiled a little, moving my hand across his stomach. I noticed that I could feel all of his ribs. Damn.. I hadn’t realized how skinny he was..

I briefly remembered the boyfriend comment my mom had made before, I hoped Austin hadn’t caught on. I wasn't sure how Austin would react to me being gay. Sure we'd gotten close since we met, but I knew hardly nothing about the kid.

Although I believed Austin wasn't a judgemental asshole like a lot of people I'd met, there was still this nagging fear in the back of my head if being rejected. I was so afraid of being alone, and my current friends were already starting to replace me.

I let out a heavy sigh, pushing all thoughts from my head before they had a chance to consume me.

I looked up at Austin again, who still seemed to be asleep. I couldn't get over how cute he was. To me, he was practically perfect. I smiled as he let out a small whine in his sleep, moving so his head was how resting in the crook of my arm.

Before I could stop myself, I softly kissed his nose, blushing at the act even though I knew he wasn't awake. I continued to study his soft features, noticing how tired and worn down he looked. I kissed him again, on the forehead this time, deciding one more couldn't hurt.

I decided I'd get to know Austin before I made any sort of move. I had to know if he was interested in me at all as more than a friend. With my luck, he was probably straight.

I really hoped not.