Alan's POV

I was speechless and still clinging onto him. I didn’t know what to do. In fact, it seemed I was incapable of doing anything. My mouth was opening and closing as if I was trying to say something but my throat was far too dry and my heart was beating far too fast against my chest for me to even form a sentence. This wasn’t happening, not right now. I didn’t want to see him. I vowed to myself the day he left that I would never want to see him ever again. I knew, as usual, that I was lying to myself. I had been dreaming of the day that I’d bump into him again. I had been making up scenarios in my head for three years that mirror this situation. But still, it didn’t seem right. The butterflies were still there, fluttering uncontrollably in my stomach and the dizziness I feel whenever I was around him was still there, leaving me feeling like we were in a world of our own and everything else going on around us was just an illusion.

I shook my head slightly, forcing myself to stop my silly daydreaming. That was when I noticed his appearance properly. His hair was cut shorter and styled so that it was sticking up at the front. He was practically covered in tattoos and he had left his facial hair to grow for a few days, meaning he had stubble covering his chin and cheeks. His eyes were still the same heavenly brown but they were missing their old sparkle. He didn’t seem to glow like he used to. He seemed pale and worn out, the dark circles around his eyes further proving this. As I stared at him, I noticed him sway slightly, his grip on my arms tightening and then loosening every now and then. I shook my shoulders out of his hold and then took a small step back.

“You’re drunk.” I stated, monotone.
He narrowed his eyes slightly. “And you smell like cigarettes.” He smirked.
I stared blankly at him, keeping my expression deadpan. I never expected seeing him would be this difficult. I didn’t think I’d have this many emotions running through my body at once. My heart beat was so loud I could hear it thumping in my ears and I felt self-conscious for a moment, wondering if maybe Austin could hear it too.
He sighs and scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I better… Go.” He says, almost inaudible before stepping around me and going to walk inside the bar.
I spin around in shock and watch after him. “Seriously?” I shout.
He stops dead in his tracks and slowly turns to face me. His expression looked guilty.
“This is the first time I’ve seen you in three years and you don’t even say more than a sentence to me. What’s that all about?” I demand.
His attention was on his feet as he shuffled nervously on the spot.
“Austin, for fuck sake, look at me.”
He meets my angry stare and his eyes gloss over slightly. Worried that he may start crying, I soften my gaze and take a step forwards. As soon as I’m back in front of him again, he shuffles away from me. I scoff and roll my eyes, throwing my hands up in the air in annoyance.
“Wow, charming. Thanks a bunch Austin. It’s nice to know I’m just that repulsive.” Now it was my turn to turn away and walk in the opposite direction of the bar. I make it into the parking lot before I feel someone grab my arm.
“Alan, I’m sorry.” I hear Austin say.
“Save it. I don’t want to hear it.” I answer.
“Please, just hear me out.”
“I said I don’t want to hear it. Now leave me alone.”
“Two minutes, that’s all I’m asking of you.” I could see he was beginning to get frustrated because his hands were balling into fists and his voice was getting louder.
I stare at him expectantly and he drops his stare to the ground again.
“Why won’t you look at me?!” I yell, causing all attention in the parking lot to turn to us.
He is silent for a moment, biting his bottom lip with his eyebrows furrowed and his hands twisting together out of nervous habit.
“Because it’s too hard.” He whispers.
“What?” I ask, unable to hear him.
“Because it’s too God damn hard to look at you Alan!” He shouts. “You’re all I’ve thought about for the past three years and it was getting to the point where you seemed like a dream because no matter how much I thought of you, I could never seem to get the image of you completely accurate in my head and it frustrated the hell out of me. You didn’t seem real anymore, and now here you are and it’s just so, so, so fucking hard.”

Again, I was left speechless. Part of me wanted to reach out and hug him and kiss him and pretend he never left for so long but I couldn’t do that. That would be the most idiotic move ever because honestly, I didn’t want to forgive him that easily. I didn’t want to appear weak, even though I am. I wanted to show him that he can’t just get up and leave and then not speak to me for three years, that’s not how it works.

You see, when Austin moved to college, we both assumed it would work long distance. I was that in love with him that I just couldn’t bare the idea of not being able to call him mine. He warned me time and time again that things like this don’t usually work when the other goes off to college but me being the stubborn fool that I am just kept pushing him and pushing him until he was gone. I know I shouldn’t blame myself but I do. Aaron always told me that I was crazy for thinking it was me and that the way Austin handled the situation was appalling but I knew it was me. I never made Austin happy. I mean, why would I? He’s perfect and funny and kind-hearted and I’m just, well, me.

“I just didn’t expect to see you this soon.” Austin mumbles.
“T-this soon?” I stutter, confused.
“I just moved back here today.”
“Oh.” Was all I managed to reply.

Suddenly the bar doors flies open and numerous loud voices could be heard.
“Where’s the birthday boy at?” Shayley slurred as he walked over to me.
I kept my eyes locked with Austin’s and he didn’t even turn to look at Shayley, even when Shayley pulled me into him and began kissing my neck.
“Where have you been?” Shayley whispered, biting the skin just underneath my ear.
I closed my eyes and focused on not getting turned on. That was the last thing I needed right now.
“Get a room, you two.” Tino laughed as he jumped onto Shayley’s back.
Shayley laughed and began running in a circle with Tino still clinging onto his back. Aaron approached me, his hand in Amanda’s.
“What’s wrong?” He asks. “You look like you’ve seen a gho-“ He trails off and his eyes widen when he sees Austin.
“Austin?” He half shouts, half laughs.
I spot Shayley from the corner of my eye and see him practically throw Tino off of him as he marches back over to us.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing back here?” Shayley spits.
“Come on Shay, not now.” I beg.
“No, I’m not going to be civil with him after what he did to you.”
I groaned and run a hand through my hair, pulling it slightly before reaching into my pocket for a cigarette. Aaron immediately grabs the pack out of my hand and puts it in his hoodie pocket. I open my mouth to ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing but he just gives me a look that says I probably shouldn’t bother.
My attention turns back to Austin and Shayley. Shayley was on his tip-toes trying to get level with Austin but failing miserably. They were both talking in a hushed tone but Shayley’s angry facial expression suggested they weren’t having a friendly conversation.
“I’m not going to stand around and watch this. I’m going home.” I mumble and begin to walk off before Aaron pulls me back.
“Oh no you don’t. You’re taking Shayley with you.”
I sigh but I know he’s right. He’d probably only end up hitting Austin if I didn’t try to calm him down. I walk the short distance to where they’re stood ‘talking’ and place a hand on Shayley’s shoulder.
“What?!” He shouts, spinning around with his hand raised as if he were about to slap me but stopped himself in time.
My eyes widen at his hand still hovering in the air and his angry expression soon turns to shock. I take a step back, feeling my heart racing for a completely different reason now.
“Alan, baby.” Shayley speaks in a soft tone. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to hit you, I promise. I was just angry and you surprised me by creeping up on me is all.”
I shook my head and kept walking backwards as Shayley began inching forwards.
“Don’t walk away from me Alan.” Shayley’s tone was starting to get more firm and commanding as he reaches out to take a hold of my wrists.
“Don’t you dare touch him!” Austin chimes in, his expression a mix of fear and anger.

I stop walking then and stare at Austin. Shayley isn’t going to like that one bit. And as if on cue, Shayley spins around and balls his fists, swinging his right arm and punching Austin square in the face.

Notes

I'm back off holiday, yay! Updates should be twice a week again but whether I stick to that or not I don't know. Despite only having chapters 6 and 7 pre-written of this, I actually wrote the ending the other week. I've also started a new cashby and I have a few other ideas down for possible one shots and fics with different pairings so keep on the lookout for those.
Thanks for the feedback, you guys are the reason I have the confidence to even upload my writing in the first place :)

- Georgia x