Restoring Force
Chapter 2
Alan's POV
"Happy birthday to me." I slur as I lean down and snort a line of coke from off of Shayley's kitchen table.
I squeeze the bridge of my nose with two fingers and close my eyes as pain shoots through my synapses and head. It soon passes and I am quickly stumbling into the bedroom with Shayley's lips on mine.
"Fuck, I've missed you Alan." Shayley mutters as he fumbles with my t shirt.
"You saw me this morning." I say, confused.
He laughs and pulls my shirt over my head. "I mean you when you're high. It's been a while."
I lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The room is spinning and coloured specks keep appearing before my eyes, making it hard to see what's in front of me.
"Yeah well I didn't think I needed it anymore." I admit.
"I told you you'd come back to it, Al." Shayley replies while kissing down my chest and stomach.
* * *
We didn't have sex. In fact we didn't do anything because I ended up passing out. I guess I forgot what effects cocaine had on me. I don't know what made me want to go and do it again. I hadn't done drugs for months. But it's probably got something to do with the fact that [i]he[/i] keeps appearing in my head more often than usual. Aaron was right, it is just a repeat of high school. But this time, instead of being ignored by Austin, I don't see him at all. I don't know where he is. I don't know what he's doing. I don't even know if he's still in college or if he went on to do something else. I just don't know, and that terrifies me. To say I miss him would be the understatement on the century. But of course I've only ever said this to Aaron and Phil. Shayley would probably murder me if he knew I still thought about him as often as I did. To him, Austin doesn't, and never did, exist.
A lot has happened in these three years since he's been gone. Number one being the obvious, I got with Shayley. I say 'got with' because we're not actually dating. Shayley doesn't do the whole commitment thing and although part of me is sad and thinks maybe he just doesn't like me enough, the bigger part of me is glad because it means I don't have to feel bad about pretending he's Austin when we're having sex. The second being I moved out. By moved out I mean kicked out. My last year in high school was hard, especially without Austin there. It started with just an occasional cigarette and soon spiralled out of control. By the time I was sitting my final exams I couldn't go a whole day without either getting drunk or getting high. I couldn't face the day without it. It's safe to say I failed my exams and my dad wasn't too pleased. He'd always wanted me to go to college but I had no interest in it. My plan was to go out to the same one as Austin but since at this point we weren't talking, that ruined that plan. My parents found out about my drug problem and that was it. I packed my bags that night and I haven't spoken to them since. Well, apart from the day they invited me to Mrs Carlile's funeral. I was devastated when I heard she'd passed away. She was like a second mum to me and although I admired and respected her, I couldn't bring myself to go to the funeral. The selfish thing was that the only reason I didn't go was because I knew Austin would be there.
Once my parents had kicked me out, I had nowhere to go. I stayed with Aaron for a while until we finally went ahead and bought our own place. Well, his dad bought it. After Aaron's parents got a divorce his dad bathed him in gifts to try and make up for abandoning him. So when Aaron said we were looking for a place, his dad told us not to worry and that he'd sort it. And he did. We got a good sized two-bedroom apartment right by the beach and with Aaron's dad paying for the rent every month, it means I don't have to get a job.
"Are you awake?" Shayley asks me, tracing his index finger over the 'California' tattoo on my rib cage.
"Mmm." I hummed in reply.
"Good because we're going out."
"What?" I say mid-yawn and rub my eyes. "Where?"
"It's your 21st birthday Alan. We're going to get shit-faced." Shayley grins.
"I'm pretty sure we did that every day before I was 21." I mumble.
"Yes but now we can actually go out and not stay cooped up in here."
I stare at the ceiling for a moment before sighing. "Fine."
Shayley leans down and kisses my lips before climbing on top of me and straddling me, a wide smirk plastered on his face.
"Happy birthday to me." I slur as I lean down and snort a line of coke from off of Shayley's kitchen table.
I squeeze the bridge of my nose with two fingers and close my eyes as pain shoots through my synapses and head. It soon passes and I am quickly stumbling into the bedroom with Shayley's lips on mine.
"Fuck, I've missed you Alan." Shayley mutters as he fumbles with my t shirt.
"You saw me this morning." I say, confused.
He laughs and pulls my shirt over my head. "I mean you when you're high. It's been a while."
I lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The room is spinning and coloured specks keep appearing before my eyes, making it hard to see what's in front of me.
"Yeah well I didn't think I needed it anymore." I admit.
"I told you you'd come back to it, Al." Shayley replies while kissing down my chest and stomach.
* * *
We didn't have sex. In fact we didn't do anything because I ended up passing out. I guess I forgot what effects cocaine had on me. I don't know what made me want to go and do it again. I hadn't done drugs for months. But it's probably got something to do with the fact that [i]he[/i] keeps appearing in my head more often than usual. Aaron was right, it is just a repeat of high school. But this time, instead of being ignored by Austin, I don't see him at all. I don't know where he is. I don't know what he's doing. I don't even know if he's still in college or if he went on to do something else. I just don't know, and that terrifies me. To say I miss him would be the understatement on the century. But of course I've only ever said this to Aaron and Phil. Shayley would probably murder me if he knew I still thought about him as often as I did. To him, Austin doesn't, and never did, exist.
A lot has happened in these three years since he's been gone. Number one being the obvious, I got with Shayley. I say 'got with' because we're not actually dating. Shayley doesn't do the whole commitment thing and although part of me is sad and thinks maybe he just doesn't like me enough, the bigger part of me is glad because it means I don't have to feel bad about pretending he's Austin when we're having sex. The second being I moved out. By moved out I mean kicked out. My last year in high school was hard, especially without Austin there. It started with just an occasional cigarette and soon spiralled out of control. By the time I was sitting my final exams I couldn't go a whole day without either getting drunk or getting high. I couldn't face the day without it. It's safe to say I failed my exams and my dad wasn't too pleased. He'd always wanted me to go to college but I had no interest in it. My plan was to go out to the same one as Austin but since at this point we weren't talking, that ruined that plan. My parents found out about my drug problem and that was it. I packed my bags that night and I haven't spoken to them since. Well, apart from the day they invited me to Mrs Carlile's funeral. I was devastated when I heard she'd passed away. She was like a second mum to me and although I admired and respected her, I couldn't bring myself to go to the funeral. The selfish thing was that the only reason I didn't go was because I knew Austin would be there.
Once my parents had kicked me out, I had nowhere to go. I stayed with Aaron for a while until we finally went ahead and bought our own place. Well, his dad bought it. After Aaron's parents got a divorce his dad bathed him in gifts to try and make up for abandoning him. So when Aaron said we were looking for a place, his dad told us not to worry and that he'd sort it. And he did. We got a good sized two-bedroom apartment right by the beach and with Aaron's dad paying for the rent every month, it means I don't have to get a job.
"Are you awake?" Shayley asks me, tracing his index finger over the 'California' tattoo on my rib cage.
"Mmm." I hummed in reply.
"Good because we're going out."
"What?" I say mid-yawn and rub my eyes. "Where?"
"It's your 21st birthday Alan. We're going to get shit-faced." Shayley grins.
"I'm pretty sure we did that every day before I was 21." I mumble.
"Yes but now we can actually go out and not stay cooped up in here."
I stare at the ceiling for a moment before sighing. "Fine."
Shayley leans down and kisses my lips before climbing on top of me and straddling me, a wide smirk plastered on his face.
Notes
I wasn't going to upload this until next week but after all the feedback I got, I just couldn't wait. Thank you to every single person that has commented, voted and subscribed already, it means a lot to me.
The next chapter is in Austin's POV so get ready for some more surprises. ;)
- Georgia x
(PS: I have a whole lot of you guys on snapchat now and your snaps talking about Feels Like Forever are making me smile so much. I will reply to each and everyone of you so keep sending them. Add me if you haven't already: georgiaisonfire )
Very good story! :-)
1/12/15