Restoring Force
Chapter 1
Alan's POV
"Fuck Alan!" He moans, grabbing a fist full of my hair and pulling hard so that my head jolts back.
He bites my neck while thrusting into me, hitting my spot over and over again. I tighten my grip on the head board and bite my lip. I close my eyes as tightly as I can as I feel the familiar knotting sensation build up inside my stomach and, as if he knew that I was close, his hand wrapped around my erection and began moving in time to his thrusts. I let my mouth open to let out a moan and tried to move my head only to have my hair pulled again, this time more forcefully. His dominance was always something that made me attracted to him, and the fact that he knows every part of my body and which parts make me tick. Even the first time we slept together, it was like he just knew where to target.
"Alan!" He groaned into my neck as he came, his thrusts and the movement of his hand becoming slower and sloppier.
"Shayley!" I screamed as I came over my stomach only moments later.
Shayley lay on top of me for a moment while he caught his breath. Then he kissed my back and got up, throwing my shirt at me while he pulled on his jeans.
"Oh yeah, Alan." He said, turning to look at me once he was stood in the doorway. "Happy birthday." He winked at me before leaving the room and then the apartment.
I rolled over and laid my head against the pillow, letting out a deep sigh and running a hand through my hair. I may be one more year older but I was no wiser.
"Fuck." I whispered to myself before biting my lip, trying to hold back from screaming.
After showering and disposing of all evidence, and guilt, I made my way into the lounge. Aaron was sat on the couch with the TV turned up to a deafening volume. I stuck my fingers into my ears to protect myself from getting permanent damage.
"Aaron! Turn that thing the fuck down!" I shout.
Aaron turns around at the sound of my voice and then switches the TV off. He glares at me, crosses his arms across his chest and leans back on the couch.
"What?" I ask, playing dumb and clueless.
"Quit the bullshit Ashby, you know exactly what." He replies, his tone harsh.
I sigh and roll my eyes before turning away and heading into the adjoining kitchen to make coffee. "Yeah, well... Whatever."
The room is silent for a moment, except for the sound of the coffee machine quietly humming, until Aaron appears next to me and places a hand on my shoulder.
"Alan, please stop this." He says, almost whispering. "It's not doing you any good and it's not going to bring Aus-"
"Don't you dare!" I snap, slamming my fists onto the counter.
Aaron doesn't even flinch. He just sighs and takes his hand off of my shoulder. I guess he was used to me flipping out like this by now.
"I'm just saying." He adds, quietly. "This whole thing with Shayley isn’t going to make you happier."
I close my eyes shut and hold onto the counter, taking deep breaths in and out.
"I know but can we just stop talking about him please." I mumble. “You told me you’d stop bringing him up.”
"I know and I’m sorry but you have to get over him at some point Alan, it's been three fucking years. This is just another repeat of high school and once again I’m the one who has to deal with all the bullshit."
"Just leave me alone." I reply, monotone.
Aaron lets out a choked laugh before grabbing his hoodie from the back of the couch and heading out of the apartment, slamming the door on his way out.
I wait until I know he's left the building and then I kick the cupboard underneath the counter. The wood splits as my foot comes into contact with it. I slide my hands across the counter and a couple of glasses fall onto the floor and smash. I clench my fists and punch one of the cupboards on the wall. The result was pretty much the same as the last one, the wood splits, but this time a trail of blood oozes from my knuckles and drips onto the counter. I slowly sink down until I am sat on the floor, surrounded by broken glass. I rest my head against one of the cupboards that I hadn't smashed and close my eyes. I reach out and grab a piece of glass, holding it tightly in my hand so that it digs into my palm and lets a new stream of crimson fall to the floor. I clutch it in my hand for a few seconds before I throw it as hard as I can across the room. It bounces off of the wall, staining the white paint blood red, and then falls to the floor once again. I open my eyes and inspect the destruction I had made.
This wasn't the first time I had done this. In fact, it used to happen at least once or twice every couple of months. At first, Aaron was scared. He used to cry and beg me to stop. But as time went on he became less and less fazed by it. He stopped trying to get me help and eventually even he himself stopped trying to help me.
I don't remember when this started, when I started feeling so angry. I guess I just couldn't cope with all of my built-up emotions anymore. The cause of it all is him. Every time something remotely even reminded me of him it felt like someone was reaching into my chest and ripping my heart out. The very thought of him is physically painful to me, even after all these years.
"Why did you leave me Austin?" I whisper as I clench my teeth and grab a handful of my hair and pull at it. "You fucking idiot. Why did you leave me?"
"Fuck Alan!" He moans, grabbing a fist full of my hair and pulling hard so that my head jolts back.
He bites my neck while thrusting into me, hitting my spot over and over again. I tighten my grip on the head board and bite my lip. I close my eyes as tightly as I can as I feel the familiar knotting sensation build up inside my stomach and, as if he knew that I was close, his hand wrapped around my erection and began moving in time to his thrusts. I let my mouth open to let out a moan and tried to move my head only to have my hair pulled again, this time more forcefully. His dominance was always something that made me attracted to him, and the fact that he knows every part of my body and which parts make me tick. Even the first time we slept together, it was like he just knew where to target.
"Alan!" He groaned into my neck as he came, his thrusts and the movement of his hand becoming slower and sloppier.
"Shayley!" I screamed as I came over my stomach only moments later.
Shayley lay on top of me for a moment while he caught his breath. Then he kissed my back and got up, throwing my shirt at me while he pulled on his jeans.
"Oh yeah, Alan." He said, turning to look at me once he was stood in the doorway. "Happy birthday." He winked at me before leaving the room and then the apartment.
I rolled over and laid my head against the pillow, letting out a deep sigh and running a hand through my hair. I may be one more year older but I was no wiser.
"Fuck." I whispered to myself before biting my lip, trying to hold back from screaming.
After showering and disposing of all evidence, and guilt, I made my way into the lounge. Aaron was sat on the couch with the TV turned up to a deafening volume. I stuck my fingers into my ears to protect myself from getting permanent damage.
"Aaron! Turn that thing the fuck down!" I shout.
Aaron turns around at the sound of my voice and then switches the TV off. He glares at me, crosses his arms across his chest and leans back on the couch.
"What?" I ask, playing dumb and clueless.
"Quit the bullshit Ashby, you know exactly what." He replies, his tone harsh.
I sigh and roll my eyes before turning away and heading into the adjoining kitchen to make coffee. "Yeah, well... Whatever."
The room is silent for a moment, except for the sound of the coffee machine quietly humming, until Aaron appears next to me and places a hand on my shoulder.
"Alan, please stop this." He says, almost whispering. "It's not doing you any good and it's not going to bring Aus-"
"Don't you dare!" I snap, slamming my fists onto the counter.
Aaron doesn't even flinch. He just sighs and takes his hand off of my shoulder. I guess he was used to me flipping out like this by now.
"I'm just saying." He adds, quietly. "This whole thing with Shayley isn’t going to make you happier."
I close my eyes shut and hold onto the counter, taking deep breaths in and out.
"I know but can we just stop talking about him please." I mumble. “You told me you’d stop bringing him up.”
"I know and I’m sorry but you have to get over him at some point Alan, it's been three fucking years. This is just another repeat of high school and once again I’m the one who has to deal with all the bullshit."
"Just leave me alone." I reply, monotone.
Aaron lets out a choked laugh before grabbing his hoodie from the back of the couch and heading out of the apartment, slamming the door on his way out.
I wait until I know he's left the building and then I kick the cupboard underneath the counter. The wood splits as my foot comes into contact with it. I slide my hands across the counter and a couple of glasses fall onto the floor and smash. I clench my fists and punch one of the cupboards on the wall. The result was pretty much the same as the last one, the wood splits, but this time a trail of blood oozes from my knuckles and drips onto the counter. I slowly sink down until I am sat on the floor, surrounded by broken glass. I rest my head against one of the cupboards that I hadn't smashed and close my eyes. I reach out and grab a piece of glass, holding it tightly in my hand so that it digs into my palm and lets a new stream of crimson fall to the floor. I clutch it in my hand for a few seconds before I throw it as hard as I can across the room. It bounces off of the wall, staining the white paint blood red, and then falls to the floor once again. I open my eyes and inspect the destruction I had made.
This wasn't the first time I had done this. In fact, it used to happen at least once or twice every couple of months. At first, Aaron was scared. He used to cry and beg me to stop. But as time went on he became less and less fazed by it. He stopped trying to get me help and eventually even he himself stopped trying to help me.
I don't remember when this started, when I started feeling so angry. I guess I just couldn't cope with all of my built-up emotions anymore. The cause of it all is him. Every time something remotely even reminded me of him it felt like someone was reaching into my chest and ripping my heart out. The very thought of him is physically painful to me, even after all these years.
"Why did you leave me Austin?" I whisper as I clench my teeth and grab a handful of my hair and pull at it. "You fucking idiot. Why did you leave me?"
Notes
TODAY IS THE DAY. HERE IT IS!
I'm so excited to see all of your reactions to this because I understand even the first paragraph is going to be a big shock and you're all probably going to hate me, haha. But yep, here it is, chapter 1 of Restoring Force. Sorry it's short but it's just a little introduction to everything.
Please leave feedback!
- Georgia x
Very good story! :-)
1/12/15