Who Can Save Me Now?
Chapter 8
Trigger Warning!
Our buses got fixed and after getting a day to rest and catch up with ourselves, we finally made it to one of our few spots left. The place where I was dreading to arrive. I haven’t step foot here and I stared at the familiar places that passed through the window.
New Jersey.
The bus pulled into the parking lot of the venue and we all got off, the whole place being nice and windy. I looked at the venue where I had once stepped in with Alyssa. We sneaked in to see A Day To Remember. It was my first concert and it was the best one ever.
“Where getting some lunch. Want to go with us?” Jack Barakat asked me as he and a few other people walked past.
“No, I’m good.” I smiled back and he nodded, looking at me closely before continuing on. Alyssa soon sat next to me and she fiddled with her hands.
“Listen, I know you don’t like this place, but the least you can do it stop by and see how your sister is doing.” I didn’t say anything but only nodded. She sighed and patted my back, standing up. “We’re getting lunch, I’ll bring you back a burger and a shake.” I smiled at her and she smiled back.
I loved when Alyssa smiled. It was one of those rare smiles that was full of love and care. I mean, sure she smiles at the fans, but this specific smile really is a rare one. Only the band has seen it, and it’s only a handful of times.
Soon, I was alone on the bus and I had thought to what Alyssa said. I got up, walking off the bus and walking down the too familiar streets to the one place I knew all too well. I turned the corner of my block. My old high school wasn’t far behind and I knew it was probably a hang out place where my old friends still hung out at. I walked closer to the reddish house, staring up at it before I noticed someone walking by the window.
They turned to look outside and stared at me. I grinned and they did too, running to the front door and swinging it open. Samantha ran outside, my arms open for her as she ran to me and hugged me tightly.
“Toria!” She yelled, sobbing on me as I hugged her.
“I missed you so much.” I whispered, a few tears escaping.
“Samantha? Why did you run out?” I looked at the door and my father stood there. He stared at me before taking a step out. He walked over as Samantha pulled away and I hugged him tightly.
“Dad.” I grinned and he hugged me.
“I heard you made it.” He whispered. I nodded and as he pulled back, I heard a snarl.
“What’s with the door open?” I turned and my mother stood at the doorway, just two feet away from me.
“Victoria?” She asked, her face shocked.
I expected her to hug me. To apologize for everything she did to me so I could apologize too. I expected her to hug me and cry tears of joy for finding me and being eager to hear all my stories and how far I made it.
But I was wrong.
“What are you doing here? You’re not welcomed into this house.” She snapped. I flinched, feeling fear settle in me.
“I came by to see how Samantha and my dad were doing.” I answered.
“Fine, now leave.” She snapped again. I took a step back but Samantha held my arm. My, how she grew…
“Mom please! Toria is tired from her trip from New York!” She argued.
“You’ve been living in New York?” Mother asked.
“California with my band. We’re touring with other bands and we’re going to Europe in a few weeks. After that we come back for a tour during the school year and then we take a few months off to write more music and we go back to touring.” I answered.
“A band? I bet it’s with the neighbors son right? With that delinquent with the green hair. What was his name?” She asked, looking at my dad.
“Grant isn’t a delinquent! He helped me through my toughest times when you abused me!” I yelled at her.
“Don’t raise your voice at your mother, Victoria!” She yelled back.
“You’re not my mother! You never were and never will be! I hate you! Because of you I have to deal with these constant suicide thoughts and we the thoughts of whether or not the band needs me! You’re the worst mother in this entire world and I cannot wait until you end up alone in this world to think about everything you ever did and live with the guilt.” I glared at her and turned to my dad, hugging him then Samantha.
“Do what you need to do and get out.” I whispered into her ear.
“That’s the plan.” She whispered back and I pulled away, walking back to the buses. I turned the corner, feeling the stress leave my body and feel peace. I walked a few steps and decided to cut through an alley before a voice brought me back to reality.
“Victoria Hughs?”
My head snapped to the voice, seeing a group of the people I once feared. I stared at them as they were all staring at me.
“Wow, it’s been a while since we’ve seen you. Rumor had it that you ran away and got knocked up by that Grant guy since he was the only one not talking about you suddenly disappearing. Then suddenly he disappeared and that’s when we knew you ran away with him.” A girl spoke up.
“I left home, but not with Grant, he just helped.” I answered, trying to walk away but one of them blocked my path.
“Where did you go?” He asked.
“With a friend.” I answered.
“So why are you back here?” Another asked.
“To see my sister.” I walked past them and they followed.
“I heard your mom is giving her hell.” The girl smirked.
“She’s not my mom.”
“Yeah, her mom wouldn’t want an emo that cuts.” A boy laughed and they all joined in. I felt someone grab a handful of my hair and pull it, having me land on the ground and I felt a kick to my side. I screamed, feeling more and as I opened my eyes, I saw one of the girls grinning at me, her hand about to punch me. I clenched my eyes close, waiting for the punch, but not feeling anything.
“Someone's got a death wish.” I looked up to see Andy glaring at them and Alyssa pulling the girl off of me. I felt Andy pick me up and Alyssa walked the girl she had, slamming her to the wall.
“Hey,” I looked up at Andy and heard a grunt from the alley but Andy didn’t let me look. “Let’s get you to the bus.” Andy held on to me tightly, making sure I couldn't escape his grip and in all honesty, I didn't want to. I felt safe. And comfortable in the bridal pose. He smelled of leather, in a non-awkward way.
I saw Ben run to the alley where one of the guys yelled at him and I heard more grunts and one girl scream.
Once on, I excused myself to the bathroom and took a pair of pajamas, but once inside, the voices came back.
I reached under the sink ledge, untapped the blade and tugged my jeans off, running the blade across until I gave up.
6 lines.
Three on each thigh. I cleaned myself up and when I got out of the bathroom, Alyssa was sitting on the couch with Grant and he cleaned up her knuckles.
“The love I have for you is unbelievable.” She said as she winced from the alcohol. Austin was sitting next to her, trying to calm her and Andy patted the seat next to him. I sat next to him and he wrapped an arm around me.
“Don’t worry. We’re here for you.” He whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes.
“Is she bleeding?” Was the last thing I heard before sleep pulled me down.
Our buses got fixed and after getting a day to rest and catch up with ourselves, we finally made it to one of our few spots left. The place where I was dreading to arrive. I haven’t step foot here and I stared at the familiar places that passed through the window.
New Jersey.
The bus pulled into the parking lot of the venue and we all got off, the whole place being nice and windy. I looked at the venue where I had once stepped in with Alyssa. We sneaked in to see A Day To Remember. It was my first concert and it was the best one ever.
“Where getting some lunch. Want to go with us?” Jack Barakat asked me as he and a few other people walked past.
“No, I’m good.” I smiled back and he nodded, looking at me closely before continuing on. Alyssa soon sat next to me and she fiddled with her hands.
“Listen, I know you don’t like this place, but the least you can do it stop by and see how your sister is doing.” I didn’t say anything but only nodded. She sighed and patted my back, standing up. “We’re getting lunch, I’ll bring you back a burger and a shake.” I smiled at her and she smiled back.
I loved when Alyssa smiled. It was one of those rare smiles that was full of love and care. I mean, sure she smiles at the fans, but this specific smile really is a rare one. Only the band has seen it, and it’s only a handful of times.
Soon, I was alone on the bus and I had thought to what Alyssa said. I got up, walking off the bus and walking down the too familiar streets to the one place I knew all too well. I turned the corner of my block. My old high school wasn’t far behind and I knew it was probably a hang out place where my old friends still hung out at. I walked closer to the reddish house, staring up at it before I noticed someone walking by the window.
They turned to look outside and stared at me. I grinned and they did too, running to the front door and swinging it open. Samantha ran outside, my arms open for her as she ran to me and hugged me tightly.
“Toria!” She yelled, sobbing on me as I hugged her.
“I missed you so much.” I whispered, a few tears escaping.
“Samantha? Why did you run out?” I looked at the door and my father stood there. He stared at me before taking a step out. He walked over as Samantha pulled away and I hugged him tightly.
“Dad.” I grinned and he hugged me.
“I heard you made it.” He whispered. I nodded and as he pulled back, I heard a snarl.
“What’s with the door open?” I turned and my mother stood at the doorway, just two feet away from me.
“Victoria?” She asked, her face shocked.
I expected her to hug me. To apologize for everything she did to me so I could apologize too. I expected her to hug me and cry tears of joy for finding me and being eager to hear all my stories and how far I made it.
But I was wrong.
“What are you doing here? You’re not welcomed into this house.” She snapped. I flinched, feeling fear settle in me.
“I came by to see how Samantha and my dad were doing.” I answered.
“Fine, now leave.” She snapped again. I took a step back but Samantha held my arm. My, how she grew…
“Mom please! Toria is tired from her trip from New York!” She argued.
“You’ve been living in New York?” Mother asked.
“California with my band. We’re touring with other bands and we’re going to Europe in a few weeks. After that we come back for a tour during the school year and then we take a few months off to write more music and we go back to touring.” I answered.
“A band? I bet it’s with the neighbors son right? With that delinquent with the green hair. What was his name?” She asked, looking at my dad.
“Grant isn’t a delinquent! He helped me through my toughest times when you abused me!” I yelled at her.
“Don’t raise your voice at your mother, Victoria!” She yelled back.
“You’re not my mother! You never were and never will be! I hate you! Because of you I have to deal with these constant suicide thoughts and we the thoughts of whether or not the band needs me! You’re the worst mother in this entire world and I cannot wait until you end up alone in this world to think about everything you ever did and live with the guilt.” I glared at her and turned to my dad, hugging him then Samantha.
“Do what you need to do and get out.” I whispered into her ear.
“That’s the plan.” She whispered back and I pulled away, walking back to the buses. I turned the corner, feeling the stress leave my body and feel peace. I walked a few steps and decided to cut through an alley before a voice brought me back to reality.
“Victoria Hughs?”
My head snapped to the voice, seeing a group of the people I once feared. I stared at them as they were all staring at me.
“Wow, it’s been a while since we’ve seen you. Rumor had it that you ran away and got knocked up by that Grant guy since he was the only one not talking about you suddenly disappearing. Then suddenly he disappeared and that’s when we knew you ran away with him.” A girl spoke up.
“I left home, but not with Grant, he just helped.” I answered, trying to walk away but one of them blocked my path.
“Where did you go?” He asked.
“With a friend.” I answered.
“So why are you back here?” Another asked.
“To see my sister.” I walked past them and they followed.
“I heard your mom is giving her hell.” The girl smirked.
“She’s not my mom.”
“Yeah, her mom wouldn’t want an emo that cuts.” A boy laughed and they all joined in. I felt someone grab a handful of my hair and pull it, having me land on the ground and I felt a kick to my side. I screamed, feeling more and as I opened my eyes, I saw one of the girls grinning at me, her hand about to punch me. I clenched my eyes close, waiting for the punch, but not feeling anything.
“Someone's got a death wish.” I looked up to see Andy glaring at them and Alyssa pulling the girl off of me. I felt Andy pick me up and Alyssa walked the girl she had, slamming her to the wall.
“Hey,” I looked up at Andy and heard a grunt from the alley but Andy didn’t let me look. “Let’s get you to the bus.” Andy held on to me tightly, making sure I couldn't escape his grip and in all honesty, I didn't want to. I felt safe. And comfortable in the bridal pose. He smelled of leather, in a non-awkward way.
I saw Ben run to the alley where one of the guys yelled at him and I heard more grunts and one girl scream.
Once on, I excused myself to the bathroom and took a pair of pajamas, but once inside, the voices came back.
I reached under the sink ledge, untapped the blade and tugged my jeans off, running the blade across until I gave up.
6 lines.
Three on each thigh. I cleaned myself up and when I got out of the bathroom, Alyssa was sitting on the couch with Grant and he cleaned up her knuckles.
“The love I have for you is unbelievable.” She said as she winced from the alcohol. Austin was sitting next to her, trying to calm her and Andy patted the seat next to him. I sat next to him and he wrapped an arm around me.
“Don’t worry. We’re here for you.” He whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes.
“Is she bleeding?” Was the last thing I heard before sleep pulled me down.
Notes
Sorry I haven't updated like I should. I started school. Expect another update tomorrow mid day! :)
Thank you
3/24/15