False Trust

~Scarlet's POV~

I woke up hungover as hell, I took a few asprins and a cup of tea. I heard a knock on the door and opened it to see Raven and a half asleep Oli. I looked down and realized I was still dressed in my clothes from yesterday. I went and greeted them and ran upstairs. Only to see a drunken Austin on the bed. I growled at him and got in some sweats and a lose tank top. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and quickly removed my makeup.
"Where's Austin?" Oli asked digging through the cabinets.
"Asleep." I replied angerly.
Oli walked upstairs and I heard him shout at Austin to get up. I didn't want to see him. Not today. Raven plopped own on our couch and told me how her and Oli were thinking about getting a house here. Oli was in fear of seeing Hannah everywhere. And hell, I wouldn't blame him, she was a bit crazy!They still see each other when Oli has Drop Dead photoshoots. But Raven goes to all of those with him, she's even modeled in some. She was really pretty. And everyone else thoughts so too, she modeled for some Gothic magazine and then a few other things. She could be considered a famous model. -Sigh- I wish I could do that.
After a while they both left and I was left alone.. Austin asleep and left with my thoughts.
You're too fat and ugly. You'll never be good enough. Worthless whore. My fathers words ran through my head. It was like he was right there saying them to me. And I fucking hate it.
I turned on my music 'Don't go! I can't do this on my own.' Blared through the headphones. I love this song. It makes me happy. I could sing it really well too. But for the first time in a month or so, I felt like cutting. Slitting my wrist open, seeing the blood pour from my arm, I thought about it. I did. I walked into the bathroom and took off my phone case. The blade looked so... different, almost like I'd never seen it before. But there it was, where it always is. Just in case I needed it in public places. I closed and locked the bathroom door. I was so fat, and so ugly, and so fucking worthless. I didn't deserve life, I didn't deserve to be with Austin. I'm pathetic. A fucking dumbass, Austiin probably hates me now. So why not just... die? I put the blade to my arm, cutting deeper than I ever have. The slight burn as a drove the blade into my skin and pulled it the the right. I let out a loud cry. I didn't think Austin was awake but hell. He was. I took a few more slashes into my wrist and threw the blade down. My head was spinning, my body weak. I couldn't see straight. The last thing I remember was all of the blood on the floor.
~Austin's POV~
"SCARLET! LET ME IN! SCARLET PLEASE!" I shouted. But there were no more cries, just silence, "SCARLET BABY PLEASE! LET ME IN!" I was beating on the door, hoping for an answer, but nothing came. I stood back and flung myself at the door. It opened and there she was, laying in a pool of her own blood. I felt around on her neck for a pulse. Nothing. I grabbed her phone and called the police, they came within minutes and rushed her out. "Please, I'll do anything. I'll pay any price. Just please, please, get my baby back. She has a baby." I cried. I drove off behind the ambulance to the hospital. They rushed her into the operating room. God please, please live Scarlet, please!
I shouldn't have done that last night, I shouldn't have grabbed her arm so hard. I'm surprised she even stayed here tonight. I'm so sorry Scarlet. I need to stop. The parties with the blondes that I don't even like. Raven left me for the same reason, Scarlet probably will too if I don't stop. I loved her too much. Scarlet baby I'm sorry.
I sat there, waiting, and waiting. I called Oli. Him and Raven came moments later. She was in tears. I'm so sorry. I mouthed to her.
"This is your fault! You should've learned by now you dumb bastard! I left you for the same god damn reason! If you hadn't done the one fucking thing that you know hurts your fucking relationships, she wouldn't be sitting in a hospital bed dead!" She spat out at me.
"Do not think I know that it's my fault?! I know it is! This has nothing to do with our past relationship!"
"Oh really?! I left you because of the same fucking reason you dumbass! You should've fucking learned!"
I took a deep breath and calmed down. Oli took Raven outside to talk to her. I sat there, still waiting, waiting for a doctor to come out and tell me she was okay. My eyes burned from the tears that were forming. It was my fault. All my fault...
I guess I must've fallen asleep, because when I woke up it was dark. There was a note left on my leg. 'Room 313.' It read. I got up and rushed to that room. I saw Scarlet, laying ther so pale. Bandages on her wrist. She didn't look like herself. She looked... lifeless. I was greeted by the doctor. He told me she had to stay for a couple nights. And he gave me some pills for her to take. I wasn't going to let her take depression pills. I'll be a better boyfriend. I have to be. For the sake of her, and the baby. The baby!
"Doc, the baby?" I asked worried.
He looked down at his hands and raised his head, "Son, the baby wasn't able to get enough blood. It died before she got here."
I fell to my knees. My body limp. The baby... it was, gone. There were no words to describe how upset I was. It's my fault we lost the baby, all my fault. I let out a loud cry. I walked over to her and grabbed her hand, "I'm so sorry. I'll do better. I promise." I repeated over and over, under my sniffles and tears.
"Austin?" I heard her mumble.
"Scarlet of my god. You're okay, you're okay. I'm right here baby. Right here."
"The baby Austin. How's the baby?" She questioned, her voice horse.
"The baby... It's gone." I didn't know how to word it. I just said it the easiest way.
She let out a loud cry/scream. I felt so bad, "Calm down, calm down please, go back to bed. You need your rest." I kissed her head and she sat up, not being able to sleep.
"And on my deathbed, all I'll see is you. The love may leave my lungs, but my heart won't stay with you." She sang softly. "This is not what it is only baby scars, I need your love, like a boy needs his mothers side..." I said with tears in my eyes. "Tides will bring me back to you..." She whispered before her heart stopped. The doctors came rushing in, pushing me out of the way.
"She's losing more blood!" One shouted.
"Go get me two liters of A positive blood now!" The main doctor said and a nurse went dashing out the room.
"You need to leave sir."
I walked out of the room and sat down in the waiting room. "Here in this world I'm awaked with mistakes but it's love that keeps fueling me, fueling me, to love you... pretty little lady with the swollen eyes would you show them to me? I know I'm not that perfect, But you stay a while baby then you will see.Miles away I could still feel you lay, your head down on my embrace, far away... Pretty little lady wit the swollen eyes would you show them to me? I know I'm not that perfect but you stay awhile baby then you will see. Don't give baby I know that it's shakey, just let love consume us, consume us. AhhAhh. Here in this world I'm awaked with mistakes but it's love that keeps fueling me, fueling me, to love you! Miles away I can still feel you lay your head down on my embrace. Pretty little lady with the swollen eyes would you show them to be? I know I'm not that perfect but you stay awhile baby then you will see" I sang softly to myself.
An hour or so later the doctor came back out. "She's stable, you can go see her." I dashed into the room. She was awake, she looked fairly happy.
"Austin it's not your fault. I see it in your eyes, but it's not."
"But if I wouldn't have done that last night."
"Shush, it's not your fault. I love you, okay?"
"I love you too..."
I sat down next to her and sang her softly to sleep. She was so precious sleeping. I didn't want to leave her to go on tour next month. But Raven would be here. She had to watch her. She had to. I didn't want Scarlet going on this tour, she needs her rest. Especially after all of this.

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