Wounds of Regret

I laid in my bunk, arms wrapped around myself in a failed attempt to stop the shivers running through my entire body. I don't understand why I have to keep doing this to myself, it's not like I'm going to live to see myself become skinny.

Despite everything I knew, I still couldn't bring myself to eat. It seemed to be getting worse and worse every day. Lucky for me, the guys were never around long enough to notice.

They'd basically given up on even trying to ask me to do stuff with them anymore. It was as if they'd forgotten about me, which gave me even more reassurance that what I was going to do was the right thing.

Listening in on the guys conversation's, I'd learned that in 3 days we had a week off to go home and relax. It was the perfect opportunity, maybe my only opportunity. I just had to hold on for three more days.

I heard someone rustling around in one of the bunks, I quickly pulled the sheets over my head just in case. I thought it was strange that someone was here, considering everyone told me they were leaving a half hour ago.

I heard more rustling when suddenly the curtain covering my bunk was ripped open, letting in blinding rays of light.

"Wha-?" I squeaked out, before looking up to see none other than Austin. Great.

"I thought you left with the guys." I muttered, avoiding Austin's eyes.

"Nope." He said, making a popping noise on the "p".

"Oh, okay. So.. What do you want then?" I said, still refusing to meet his eyes.

Austin stared at me for a second, a weird expression I couldn't make out plastered on his face.

"Dude you've barely left your bunk in ages, and it seems like we haven't had a proper conversation in weeks."

I didn't have an answer for that, knowing it was all true. I briefly wondered if Austin really cared, but quickly dismissed the idea from my head.

Before I knew it, I suddenly felt myself being lifted from the bunk.

"What the fu-" I yelled out before Austin sprinted into the lounge area, giggling the whole way.

"You're going to drop me, Austin I swear to god!" I yelled, I couldn't help thinking about my weight. How was he even able to pick me up right now?

"Oh please, you're a twig." I stared at him, he must have been lying to make me feel better.
Austin dropped me down on the couch, plopping himself down next to me. He turned to look at me with a huge grin on his face.

"How about we watch your favorite movie?" He laughed, the huge smile still evident on his face.
I immediately smiled as Austin got up and put 500 days of summer into the DVD player. He usually hated watching it with me. Every time I even mentioned the movie he'd groan in protest. I tried not to read into things too much.

I realized I was really going to miss this. At least Austin would never have to force himself to watch this movie for me again.

Somewhere in the middle of the movie, Austin shifted and snaked his arm around my shoulders. He probably had no idea what he was doing. I decided to enjoy it while it lasted, I deserved that much.

I slowly moved my arms around Austin's waist and buried my head into his chest. Before I knew it, the credits were rolling down the screen and my eyes were getting heavy as I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep, still locked in Austin's embrace.

Notes