“If you feel so empty
So used up, so let down
If you feel so angry
So ripped off so stepped on
You're not the only one
Refusing to back down
You're not the only one
So get up.”

Dakota pauses, letting the drum kick resound through the car.

“Let’s start a riot!” She screams, driving down the road at a slightly faster than necessary speed. Luckily, the road is rather empty so she could wind down it at whatever speed she pleases.

She breaths the now slightly salty air as she lets the voice of Adam Gontier surround her.

Alan eyes her from the passenger seat, grinning slightly. It had been weeks since her panic attack and he had finally gotten accustomed to the fact that she wasn’t going to break into a million pieces at any second.

His smile fades slightly as she reaches over to turn down the music, a sure sign that she wanted to talk.

“I was thinking-,” “That’s never a good thing,” he interrupts, grinning as he moves to grab her hand. She frowns before continuing in a whining voice, “Shut up. I’m being serious right now. I was just thinking, what are we gonna do when you and the guys start touring? What if I start my own band?”

Alan sits back in his seat slightly, stunned by the question. The thought had crossed his mind, of course, but he had tended to push it away and focus on today instead. What’s the use in dreading the future?

“Uh, I guess you would stay here at the house and we would try to meet up every so often? Come on, babe. I don’t wanna think about it.”

Lines crease her forehead as he mouth tips down. “We need to think about it. This is serious. Cole and I are thinking about starting a band. He can play guitar really well and I can play bass and drums if needed. What would we do then?”

He sighs, frustrated.

“I don’t know, Dakota. We’ll deal with it when we get there.” She rolls her eyes, still keeping her face towards the road. “Alan, we need to deal with it now. How am I supposed to know that you’re serious about this if we never talk about anything that is important?”

He leans forward in his seat, pulling his hand from where it was intertwined with hers. “So you think that I’m not serious about us? Why the hell would I spend this much time on a relationship if I wasn’t absolutely committed? Fuck, it’s been almost six months I’ve been dealing with you!”

“Dealing with me?” She echoes angrily.

“Do you know how hard it is to put up with all of your emotional shit all of the time? It’s like I’m living in a bubble. “Don’t mention my parents’ ‘don’t move so quickly around me, it scares me’ ‘wear your seatbelt all the time or I’m not even gonna change gears’ ‘I’m not going to tell you shit about my past, but get mad when you do the same’. It’s bullshit!” `

“You wanna know what’s bullshit?” She asks, glaring at him from the corner of her eye.

“The fact that you’re acting like I can help any of that! I’m sorry that I’m so fucked up! My bad!”

“You wanna know what I think? Sometimes I think you just want the attention your parents never gave you!”

She turns to glare at him, not even glancing at the road.

“Shut up! You don’t know anything about that!”

Her foot presses harder against the gas pedal without her realising it and Alan glances at the speedometer as it inches slowly up.

“Dakota, slow down.”

“No, you don’t get to tell me what to do! Just listen to me, dammit! Do you think I like crying every night? I’m so sick of crying that I could spit! You wanna know why I don’t want you to mention my parents? Alright, I’ll tell you: my mother was an abusive alcoholic. My dad was just as bad, except his drug of choice was Meth. You want to know why I want you to wear your seatbelt? My best friend died when he was thirteen years old because he wasn’t wearing one.”

“Okay, I get it! Just watch the road, alright?”

“Let me finish! I don’t want talk about my past for the same reason that you don’t want to talk about the future: because I’m scared of it! And-” Whatever Dakota Lawson was planning on saying is cut off by the sound of her cherry red VW Beetle wrapping itself around a tree.

Notes

Well, that was not where I was planning on this chapter going, but whatever, man.