Ohioisonfire

Austin's P.O.V

I no longer tried to hide the distress that surfaced whenever I discovered that some odd days or weeks had miraculously disappeared. It was evident, something was definitely wrong with me. One morning in particular, two days ago to be exact; I awoke in a bed. It was a large, cozy one with many blankets and soft pillows, one that felt unfamiliar from the one I had, this bed was something that I did not own. Turns out, I did. Somehow, I, even though I don’t recall it, had redecorated my apartment in the finest of items. New couch, new bed, new clothes and even food in the kitchen; my wallet still held a large lump sum of cash and I couldn’t only wonder how much I had worked for all of this. The same morning, I flipped on the television and realized it was December 10th, 9 days after I had last checked. I didn’t even remember how I had gotten home that night; I remembered being at the red heads, Alan’s, apartment but nothing more.

Today, December 12th, I was fiddling with the envelopes that had accumulated in my P.O box, 3 to be exact. They were all from the same person, the mysterious, -AAA who I knew nothing of other than the fact that I must, somehow, be in contact with him despite my memory vanishing. I flipped down onto the same sofa in my apartments lobby before I headed off to work so that I could read them, though they were already tore open as if I had read them before and not been bothered enough to take them into my home. Despite the fact that they were open, and that I had, apparently, read them, yet again; I didn’t remember what they said.

12/3/2010

Dear A,

Will you stop with the fluffy shit? It’s making me want to figure out who you are even more, but I respect that you want to stay anonymous…well, to a point. For someone who says they don’t get out much you sure know how to sweet talk people, I bet all the men/women fawn over you, whether you notice it or not.

So you want to know about me, huh?

Well, I'm not too exciting, really. Um, I don’t have any friends to be honest; it’s not like I like being alone all of the time but its hard for me to make friends. I guess you could say I'm a bit socially awkward, but I partially blame my parents. They were, and I suppose, still are, strict Christians who always held me to the highest standards possible. I didn’t meet their criteria, so I was the black sheep of the family. No one wanted to get to know me, I was just kind of there. Guess that’s enough, right? I'm sure you don’t want a sob story, anyways; I Can't wait to hear from you. You really don’t know how happy your letters make me C:

-AAA

I sighed outwardly as I leafed to the next piece of paper, obviously, I was trying something with these. I could only wonder why, in my elusive state of mind, I had decided to write someone as if I lived in the 18th centaury. I liked being able to text, even though I hardly had anyone to talk too, why didn’t I just ask this person for their number? Nothing was adding up with me, and to be honest, I was slightly terrified of what was happening. I wondered if I should go and check myself in somewhere, try to get some help and find out what was wrong with me, but I didn’t exactly feel like being locked in a loony bin either. Reluctantly, I brought the next letter face up and began to read it.

Dear A,

Oh god…I'm so sorry about your mom…and your dad, too. I know I don’t know you, but you deserve better; you seem like such a good person. Why aren’t there more people like you in the world? If we all took a little time to actually get to know each other, who knows where we’d be? But hey, I'm sure you knew that already (:

So uh, about your questions.

Favorite Animal? Cat =^.^=
Favorite color? Black? That counts, right?

Favorite sport? Football

Favorite television show? American Horror Story :P

Movie?

Five hundred days of summer.

Don’t judge me.

So what about you? I’d like to know some more about you too, since you’re so…mysterious.

As always, I Can't wait to hear from you C:

Xoxo
-AAA

I smiled to myself, not completely coherent of my reasoning but I deemed that whomever this person was, to be rather…appealing. At least from what I could tell. Even in his/her letters I could tell they were shy; their incessant rambling, which while adorable; was a characteristic sign of an inwardly caved personality. I could easily relate. As I cradled the last letter in my palms of my hands, I let out a guttural groan before pressing the letter to my chest. My ‘friend’, my only one I had, I didn’t know nor remember talking too. I longed to have some sort of contact with them though. Not only to ask them how we had met or whatnot, but to see if they could clue me in on my whereabouts. Perhaps I had told them what I had been up too, and I would die to know that sliver of information. This person, this stranger may hold the pieces of my life that I Can't remember, and finding him/her; and figuring out meant everything to me. Without hesitation I extended the letter out far enough away from my chest so that I could read it, a small smile toyed at the corner of my lips as I skimmed the first few words over.

Dear A,

You need to stop being so perfect.

God, A, you may possibly be the best person in the entire world and I don’t even know who you are. The irony!

Anyways, I really hope I get to meet you one day C: that is, if you want too. I could really use someone like you in my life, and I've actually never been so happy to check the mail. Or wake up. Or figure out I have something new from you. I'm sorry my responses are so vague and short, while yours are detailed and lengthy, which I love by the way. I guess I'm still trying to open myself up to you. Believe it or not, you’re the first person who has taken such an interest in me. I couldn’t begin to thank you enough for that.

So Christmas is coming up soon, and I've been working a lot lately so I have some extra cash; I’d like to get you something. Don’t say that I shouldn’t do that or whatever, I really want too <3

Can't wait to hear from you :D

Xoxo
-AAA

I found myself smiling again as I resealed the letters and stuck them inside the hidden pocket in my coat. I was feeling a lot better today, having someone I could talk too, even if I didn’t know them or what I told them, felt good. To have someone, anyone, be there for me was...astronomical. I was in a generally cheery mood as I walked the short distance to my place of work, but as my eyes traveled to the same ole News Stand I felt my stomach drop, and not in a way I would refer too as fear. I felt violently ill, my head startled to feel as if it was splintering open. My legs were slowly but surely becoming jello and I had suddenly forgotten why I had stumbled down the road this far in the first place. I fell to my knees as I tiredly punched the ground, trying desperately to regain control and composure.

“Austin! C’mon!” a low call came from behind a glass door that I found oh so familiar, and without further adieu, my aches were gone; my original purpose resurfaced and I was staring numbly into the eyes of my manager. I quickly made my way inside the packed dining hall after him, but found myself feeling slightly overwhelmed by the mass of people; my head began to spin once more. I held a finger up to Tino as I dashed into the back towards the restroom; blindly running, I was unaware that I had strayed into someone else’s path. Only when I sent us both crashing to the ground did I notice what I had done. I had knocked Alan flat on the ground, the tray of drinks and food he had been carrying shattered and splattered onto the dingy walls of the back area.

“Are you okay?” he asked in confusion as he lifted his top half off of the ground, leaving him in sitting position as he rubbed the back of his head. I furiously shook my head 'no' and flung myself into the bathroom before collapsing onto the floor. Not the most sanitary choice, but my strength was non-existent and I was too tired to do much else. The door swung open moments later as Alan entered and kneeled down in front of me, a sympathetic look in his eyes as he placed a hand on my shoulder. It was then, for the first time since this all began, that I sobbed without reserve. In a short months time, I had truly lost my mind...and I had never felt so alone.

Notes

title cred: O.C.D by Suicide Silence


Please leave me stuff ;3
xoxo
Siren