Alan:
“Let's go Al, rise and shine!” Austin called knocking on my bedroom door. I just sighed in response and rolled over. “You can't stay in bed all day and mope because you had a break up! I will drag you out of there!” Like hell you will. “You have until three!” I snuggled further into my sheets. “One,” Nope. “two,” Go to hell. My door flew open. The blankets were ripped away, exposing my naked torso to the cool afternoon air. “Three,” Austin smiled above me.

I groaned. “Why can't you just fuck off?!”

He rolled his eyes. “Because you're my best friend, Alan. I'm not going to let you sit in here depressed all day and die from malnutrition. Now, get your ass up, I'm making breakfast. If you're not in the kitchen when I'm done cooking, there'll be hell to pay.”

I grumbled at him but obliged, getting up and putting a shirt on. I padded down to the kitchen. I sat at the island and laid my head down on my arms, drifting back off to sleep.

“Oh no you don't,” Austin chuckled, shoving a fresh cup of coffee into my face.

I sighed, but drank it anyway. It was easier to just accept the coddling than try to fight Austin. The kitchen was silent as I sipped my coffee and my best friend cooked breakfast, but that lasted only a few seconds before Austin began to sing, softly. I kept my gaze at the counter top, but smiled. I loved it when Austin sang.

“There you go, bud.” A plate was placed in front of me. I lifted tired eyes to my best friend, begging him to let me just go back to bed and stay there. He sighed and took my face in his hands. “Al, you know I can't let you do that. I won't just sit around and let you destroy yourself again. It killed me to watch you drink your sorrows away to the extent you did.” He chuckled darkly and shook his head. “I thought you'd get over it, but it only got worse, and I just sat by and let it happen.” He swallowed, and when his eyes met mine, I saw they were carrying traces of tears. “I regret everyday not helping you like I should have, Alan. That's why I can't just sit on the sidelines quietly this time. Please, I'm trying everything I can think of, but I need you to want to go on. Sil and Aaron are so happy together, and you made that happen, Al. So what if she wasn't the one for you? I know it's hard, buddy, but it'll only get better if you let it. One day you'll find the right gir-, um, guy, and it'll be great. I promise.”

Silent tears had begun running down my face the second I saw Austin about to cry. I pulled in a jagged breath. He was absolutely right, but it took one short lived relationship to flip everything I knew about my life around. I was still in shock, to say the least.

Austin heaved another sigh at my silence. “Yeah, figures. Let's go, eat up.” He turned and stalked off to the other side of the kitchen. He gripped the edge of the counter until his knuckles were white and just stared out the window, his back to me.

The room was silent.

My head was at war with itself.

You useless piece of shit, even Austin can't handle you anymore.

He's just looking out for you. He wants you to get better. You should really try.

What's the point?

It's Austin, you don't want to let him down.

You already have.

I swallowed. I had let Austin down. The one person who never gave up on me, and I was pretty sure he was about to. I was a burden on him. I need to get better.

“I-” my voice cracked, “I'm sorry,” I whimpered.

Austin spun around at an inhuman speed. I saw his eyes glassed over, and his face flushed. I hadn't spoken to anyone since tour. The only time my mouth opened was when I yelled at the only person who actually gave a damn about me. The same person who stood, frozen, eyes and mouth wide.

“Aus, I'm so so sorry.” I broke. I was sorry for the way I'd treated him. I was sorry I didn't accept his help. I was sorry I was a burden. I was sorry I was letting him down. “I'm sorry,” I sobbed.

He scrambled over to me and engulfed me in his embrace. “Shh, shh, Al, I'm here. It's ok. It's ok.”

I don't know how long I stayed there, enveloped in his arms, sobbing and apologizing for basically the last year of my life with the same words over and over. “I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry.”

And he held me, and let me soak his shirt, and cry my heart out. When my eyes ran dry and began to ache, Austin pulled back slightly to look me in the eyes. “Will you please let me help you now?”

I sniffled and nodded. “I'm sorry,” I whimpered out again.

He smiled, and I realized it was the first time since tour I'd seen him smile. I was determined to fix that. “Thank you. Go pack your things, we're going to stay at my place for a while.” I nodded and went to get up, but was held in my seat. “Not before you eat something, though,” He said with a smirk.

I managed half a smile, my heart flipping with glee. I would do right by Austin. I would make him proud of me again.

He smiled wider than I'd ever seen as he wiped the last traces of tears from my face. “That's my boy.” He flushed slightly as the words left his mouth, as if he hadn't meant for them to come out, but then shrugged and pulled another lopsided grin before walking to the guest room he'd been occupying for the past three weeks to gather his things.

Austin:
It took three weeks. Three weeks of screaming. Three weeks of pleading. Three weeks of silence. Three weeks of frustration. Three weeks of exhaustion. Three weeks of tears.

It took three weeks of looking after Alan before I was ready to give up on him.

I stood in his kitchen after having just practically poured my heart out to him, gripping the counter top so I didn't punch him. I glared out the window without seeing anything as frustrated tears streamed down my cheeks.

What is the matter with you?! Can't you see that I am hopelessly in love with you?! Can't you see that it's tearing me apart inside to watch you do this?! Don't you give a damn?! I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to beat Alan to a pulp. I wanted to hold him tightly and tell him he was loved.

I wanted to do all of this, but instead I stared out the window and cried as the never ending silence settled in the room.

And even through all of my anger, I heard it. It didn't even seem real. I spun around and stood there shocked. I watched him, making sure I wasn't imagining things. I wasn't.

“I'm sorry.”

That was all it took. It took two words for all of my anger to vanish, and my hope to return.

“Aus, I'm so so sorry,” he sobbed.

I was swallowing him in a hug before my head even registered that I'd moved. “Shh, shh, Al, I'm here. It's ok. It's ok.”

Alan broke down in my arms for over an hour. When his tears finally stopped and his sobs had turned to hiccups, he finally let me in. He was going to let me help him.

When we arrived at my house, I got Alan set up in my guest room and asked what he would like to do.

It took him a moment to answer, which sent a fast panic through me. Oh god, no. He just let me in, don't let him fall back. He shrugged, pulling his sleeves down over his hands, eyes never leaving the floor. “I dunno.”

Relief washed over me. Awkward Alan was better than depressed Alan any day. “How about a movie? It's been a stressful day.”

He smiled at me. “Sounds good.”

And so, we had one of our classic movie nights where we marathoned the worst movies ever made, laughed our asses off, and ate twice our weight in junk food. I smiled at my best friend and, for the first time in nearly a year, he smiled back with no hesitation. There was no trace of sadness in that smile. My heart fluttered. Everything would be ok.

Notes

Ok, over 14k veiws and this was on the second popular page days after it was updated? You guys are the best! So I leave you with this for now. There's probably only one or two more chapters of this left. Enjoy, loves! - Anna