Strength in Numbers

I woke up on the couch in the back lounge not even remembering falling asleep. It was an ungodly hour of the morning, considering the sun wasn't even up yet. I had a blanket and a pillow that was undoubtedly from one of the guys. I sat up and cracked my neck. I wasn't even sure if they'd found Alan.

Alan. Shit. I jumped off the couch haphazardly kicking away the blanket. I peeked into my bunk to see Alan passed out. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I ran my hand through his hair and he groaned in his sleep before rolling to face the wall. I rolled my eyes and climbed in, wrapping my arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. God, I'd been worried.

I felt Alan thread his fingers through mine. "Sil?" I wasn't really sure if he was awake or not.

I pressed a kiss to his back. "I love you."

"Mm, love you too," he muttered, still mostly asleep.

I didn't remember falling asleep again, but I woke up to the smell of coffee being made. Alan was still very much unconscious in my arms. I had no idea what time he'd come home so I decided to let him sleep. After carefully detangling myself from my boyfriend, I followed the smell of coffee to the front of the bus.

"I see you successfully located my boyfriend," I yawned, entering the room.

Austin hummed a response as he poured himself a bowl of sugary cereal. He took the bowl to the table and sat across from Phil who was playing on his phone while nursing a cup of coffee. Tino sat on the couch, coffee in hand, watching TV with Aaron - who looked like he was about to fall asleep any second.

I got my coffee and sat on the counter, since Tino and Aaron had sprawled across the entire sofa. "Rough night for everyone?"

They all grunted. Austin looked up at me. "You too?"

I shrugged and sipped my coffee. "I don't even remember falling asleep. I woke up on the back couch."

"Mm, yeah found you back there passed out and shivering. Wasn't in the mood to get slapped for waking you up so I just gave you a blanket." Phil shrugged and sipped his coffee.

"Thanks, Phil," I chuckled. "I migrated to my bunk at some ungodly hour of the morning. Alan's still passed out by the way. I wasn't sure what time he got in."

Austin scrubbed his eyes with the heals of his hands. "Not until like three. I ran all over town looking for that fucker. Try to not emotionally abuse our rhythm guitarist the night before a show."

My eyes stung with the beginnings of tears at his harsh tone. I hadn't done anything. Alan was the one dealing out the emotional abuse yesterday. I dropped my eyes to my coffee.

"Hey it wasn't her fault, Aus," Tino said.

He muttered something I didn't catch. Aaron rolled his eyes. "What's up your butt this morning?"

I laughed. "The lack there of."

I heard Austin's spoon clatter into the bowl and looked up to find his wide, horrified eyes on me. The guys all stared at me confused. My best friend flushed from his hair to his chest. He looked at the guys as his panic melted into anger. He slammed his hands on the table and stormed out of the bus.

I swallowed. "He didn't tell you guys, did he?"

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"Aus is gay?" Phil asked.

I nodded. "I'm sorry, I really thought you guys knew. I'll go find him."

Tino busted out laughing. "Now I get it, 'the lack there of'," he snorted, "good one, Sil."

I threw on my vans and ran outside. I jogged around the lot. "Where did that fucker go?" I muttered. I found one of the techs and asked if he'd seen Austin.

"Yeah, he went that way. Looked pissed off or somethin', everything ok?"

I nodded and ran off in the direction he'd pointed. I found Austin in the back of the venue sitting against the wall, his head in his hands.

"Aussie?" I asked tentatively as I approached him.

"Fuck off."

"I'm sorry, Aus, I thought they knew." I sat next to him.

His hands gripped his hair. "Of course they don't know! I fucking trusted you!"

"Oh come on, the guys are your best friends, how was I supposed to know you hadn't told them?"

He sniffed. "I dunno."

I shifted to kneel in front of him, putting my hand under his chin to tilt his head up. "What's wrong, Austin?"

"They know," he muttered dropping his red eyes back to the ground.

I wiped his stubbly cheeks. "And?"

He shrugged. "What if, I dunno, they look at me different."

I laughed. "For a giant guy, you're a big softy, you know that Carlile?" He shot me a glare, but I just laughed harder. "The guys are practically family. They'll love you no matter who you sleep with."

He blushed. "I doubt that."

"How come? What are you crushing on one of your band mates?" I snorted.

He just blushed deeper.

"YOU ARE! YOU FUCKING MAN WHORE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND!" I slapped his arm repeatedly as I shouted.

He cracked a smile at my outburst. "You are my best friend."

"Then tell me who you like!"

His smile dropped and he shook his head.

"Why not?" I whined. "I won't tell them! I promise!"

He shook his head.

"You suck!"

He smirked. "Yeah generally, kinda comes with being gay."

I laughed. "Ok, ok, I walked into that one. Now will you please tell me?"

He shook his head again.

"But Aussieeeee," I whined dramatically falling into his lap, "I need to know!"

He laughed. "You'll just hate me, and if you don't, he will, and either way I know you'll thoroughly embarrass me in front of him."

"Why would I hate you? Oh! He's taken isn't he?!" Austin shrugged and muttered something noncommittal. "Is it Tino?"

He shook his head and laughed. "Definitely not Tino. I love him, but not like that."

"Phil?"

He shook his head.

I sighed. "It's Aaron isn't it?"

He laughed. "No! Oh god no! Well maybe when we first met him, he's kinda cute, but no!"

"Well we're out of band mates, Aus so you must have lied to me about one of them."

He dropped his eyes back to the ground.

It clicked in my head. "Oh my god," I gasped. "Cashby's real!"

"Say it a little louder, huh? I don't think they heard you right in Japan."

"You like Alan!" I laughed. "Aus, that's adorable!"

"Shut up," he grumbled, blushing again.

"I'm dating Alan," I remembered.

Austin sighed. "Yeah, don't remind me." I smacked him in the back of the head. "Hey! What was that for?!"

"You dumbass, why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have got with him!"

"Sil, he's loved you for years. Plus, he's not gay."

I laughed. "Minor details. You could totally change his mind." I checked the time. "C'mon big guy, you need to go get ready for a show."

Austin:

No! I swallowed and shook my head. I was not going back to the bus.

Silver sighed. "Aus, you cannot go onstage in your pajamas."

"Jack went on stage in a bra and Jaime went on stage in booty shorts."

"They didn't have me there to smack them. Your parents would kill me if I let you go onstage like that. You are going back to that tour bus and you are going to face your band like a man and tell them you're gay and if they don't like it they can fight me." She stood up and held a hand out to me.

I sighed but took it, hoisting myself off the pavement and brushing the dirt off my pants. Suddenly Silver jumped on me, hugging the shit out of me. I hugged her back and sighed again.

"Everything will be fine, Aussie. I promise." I cringed at the nickname, I loathed it. My best friend just laughed. "Let's go, Aus."

I shuffled behind Silver as we made our way back to the bus. I made her go in first and reluctantly followed behind keeping my head down the entire time.

"Christ dude, we though we were going to go on without a lead vocalist. We already had to have a man hunt for our guitarist, can we all try to not storm off for once?" Phil laughed as he walked out of the bunks, drying his hair with a towel.

I shrugged.

"Go get ready we have sound check in an hour." He turned to Silver. "Go wake up your boyfriend, we tried everything but he just keeps going back to sleep."

Silver looked to me confused. "I have no idea how to get him up. I just let the ginger princess get his beauty rest; he gets cranky and annoying if I don't. Aus?"

I shrugged. I knew exactly how to get Alan up, but they all knew. Silver made puppy eyes at me. I sighed. "Oh fine, I'll go get him up." I grabbed an ice cube from the freezer and walked to Alan's bunk.

"Al," I shook his shoulder. He grumbled at me and rolled over. "Al, c'mon we have sound check." He muttered profanities at me, still mostly asleep. I rolled my eyes. "I gave you a chance." I pulled back the waistband of his boxers and dropped in the ice cube, stepping back to get out of his reach.

It took a second, but Alan shot up, eyes wide. "FUCK!" His head cracked against the top of the bunk. "Ow!" He jumped out of bed and frantically hopped around until the ice fell out of his underwear. I was laughing when he spun on me fuming. "YOU COCK SUCKING-"

"That doesn't work as an insult anymore, Ashby! It's just a fact!" Tino laughed as he passed us on his way to the front of the bus.

I laughed as Alan's faced changed to sheer confusion. "You're gay?"

I felt my face heat up as I looked at the floor. I shrugged. "Yeah?" I felt his fist connect with my arm. For a tiny guy, he's strong. "Ow! What the hell man?"

"You fucker! I thought I was your best friend! You're supposed to tell me this shit!" He laughed.

I smiled slightly. "Sorry."

He laughed again. "I totally called it, by the way." He hugged me. "Glad you decided to fucking share with us finally."

I chuckled but I felt a knot in my gut when he hugged me.

"Who've you got your eye on then? Don't lie to me, I know you better than that."

I flushed. Shit, what do I say?

"Screw you, Ashby! I'm his best friend, only I get to know the guy Aus is crushing on!" Silver laughed as she walked in.

I thanked her silently and she winked. "Got your back," she mouthed.

Alan gasped. "Oh hell no! I'm his best friend!" The tiny ginger jumped on me. "Austin's mine!"

I laughed as Silver "aw"-ed at us. "You're cute, Ashby, but I've known him longer."

"That's not fair! I've always wanted a sassy gay friend!"

"Why? You have yourself."

Alan pouted and looked up at me from his awkward position of clinging to my torso. "Austin she's being mean!"

I laughed and patted him on the head. "Ok, ok, enough you two. Alan go get dressed, we have a show. Sil? Behave."

She stuck her tongue out at me and walked to the front of the bus as Alan jumped off me and went to shower.

"Totally have the hots for Ashby," Aaron chuckled as he passed.

"Fuck you!"

My band accepting I'm gay? Yep.

Them just letting it go? I wish.

Notes