expectations.

Once they reached the venue, she stalls for as long as possible until running to the stage to perform, putting every ounce of energy into the show, then dashing back to the van like a madman. She has no intention of seeing any of her friends at the moment - she had overheard several of the bigger bands on tour berating her for something that wasn’t even her fault. So instead of hanging in her dressing room with the rest of the guys, she was now sitting in the passenger seat of the van, her feet propped up on the dash as “I Don’t Love You” by My Chemical Romance blares through the speakers.

“Well, when you go,
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay.
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way.

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know.
So take your gloves and get out.
Better get out
While you can.”

She spins her sleek phone in her hand, debating whether or not to text Alan. He hadn’t even given her a chance to properly explain! Maybe if she -

Her thought process is cut off as she suddenly drops her phone mid rotation.

She reaches down under the seat for it, but her hand comes in contact with something else instead.

She pulls it out and smiles when she reads the words ‘Skyy Vodka’. Bren must have left it there after their last beer run.

“When you go,
Would you even turn to say
‘I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday’?”

And with those words still echoing around the empty van, she pops open the cap, taking a rather large gulp and grimacing as it burns down her throat. It was a good burn though, a warmth that spread slowly.

She had been meaning to slow down on the drinking, but special circumstances, you know? Just a swig or two to calm her nerves.

Her intentions had never been to drink half of the bottle, then ¾, and then the whole damn thing.

But that’s what happened.

She had never meant to call up Alan a sobbing mess, trying to explain what happened.

She had never meant to cuss him out when he refused to see her.

She had never meant to call Colt, crying again over Alan.

She had never meant to let Colt into the van to “talk about it”.

And she had most certainly, never ever meant to tell him all about her entire life.

But she did.

Notes

wowie.