When Life Gives You Lemons

Brandon:

The almighty sun, I hate that motherfucker. Because it’s currently tapping me on the face waking me from my somewhat peaceful sleep and dragging me into my agonizing reality. Although, I must admit that the warm sunrays felt good on my skin, everything else did not. My throat was on fire, my head was being hammered and my stomach was churning. I still felt like complete shit.

“I’m about to go wake Brandon.” I heard someone whisper followed by footsteps

“Don’t bother” I groaned. I slowly sat up swinging my legs over the bedside. “Sadly, I’m up.”

Nate came up to me with a sad smile “How you feeling boob?”

“Horrible.” I leaned into his shoulder. “I haven’t felt this bad in a long time.”

“You mean since…..” He trailed off the statement not wanting to finish it. I reluctantly nodded, he didn’t have to finish for me to know exactly what he was insinuating. “Brandon…how about if it’s happening again?” His eyes looked into mine radiating with fear “The doctor said it would be even worse.” Tears started to prick the corner of my friends eyes “Oh God it can’t be happening again. You can’t…..I can’t go through that again. Last time can’t happen again.”

“It’s not happening again.” I whispered trying desperately to hide my own fear. I pulled Nate into my lap; he simply curled into my lap and cried. “I probably just picked up something at one of the shows. ”

“Hey Brandon, Oliver told me you weren’t feeling well yesterday.” Francis voice boomed down the bus.

He appeared in front of my bunk followed by Oliver. He saw a crying Nate and his face dropped. Nate’s only cried one time since we’ve known him. He cried when he found out about that time. Francis eyes flickered from me to Nate than back to me.

“Hey, is everything all right?” He questioned

I shook my head “Fine….”

“Last time…..last time…..” Nate sobbed in my arms. “Last time…..all over…over…again.”

I saw my brother’s face go rigid with fear. The same fear that was in Nate’s eyes shined brightly in his. “Brandon….it’s….it’s not happening again…..is it?”

“No! It’s not happening…….”

I paused when my hands started to feel clammy again. My stomach was churning again. Rolling around and around, and I could feel the little food I had digested earlier creeping its way back up. Shit, not again. I lifted myself up off the bed and darted to the bathroom. I dropped to my knees in front of the console arms clutched around my stomach just as the heaving began. I could faintly hear talking in the background but could barely make it out over my continuous heaving….and crying.

“Shussh you’re okay love.” Oliver’s lips were right above my ear and just his voice itself soothed me just a little. His hands started to rub my back in the calming manner all while he placed kisses on my neck. “Let it all out babe…….you’re okay. I got you love.”

“It’s…..oh my God no!” I sobbed leaning into the older mans embrace. “Oli its happening again isn’t it.” I closed my eyes shaking my head from side to side frantically “No! No! No! Please God No!”

My chest heaved up and down as inhuman sobs staggered out of my mouth. Tear after tear fell from my eyes, so many tears for so much pain. Oli stood up bringing me up with him. He held a firm grip around my waist as I just sobbed, that’s all I could do now.

“I…..I can’t go through it again. I can’t…..I just can’t.” I snuffled. My head dug into Oli’s shoulder. “God if I get it again I swear I’ll kill myself.”

“What? Brandon don’t say something like that.” I looked down but he lifted my head up with his finger. “Don’t you ever say that……things are never that bad that you should end your life.”

“You don’t know that Oliver. You don’t know what it’s like. To go to bed in pain just to wake up feeling just as bad or worse. Taking medicine after medicine after medicine…all of them making you feel like complete utter shit.” I looked into his eyes to see tears sprinkling down his face. “You don’t know what it’s like Oliver. To not know if you were going to wake up the next day……shit to not know if you would even wake up from your next fucking treatment.” Oliver eyes furrowed in confusion and I just sighed “You don’t know what happened last time.”

I turned to walk away but was pulled back into Oli’s tight grasp. I tried to fight it to rip myself away but it only made him hold on to me tighter. I eventually collapsed into his loving embrase.

“You’re right……I have know idea what that’s like. So why don’t you enlighten me. Tell me Brandon, what happen last time?”

“I…..” I paused looking up at Oliver whose eyes gazed at me with a mixture of wonder, fear and concern. “I was sick……really sick.”

“Sick?” Oliver’s eyes furrowed in confusion but fear was creeping into his voice.“Sick as in....?”

“I had……” I pause squinting my eyes at the for some odd reason blurry Oliver. “I had….”

I touch the side of my face, I was sweating again. I blinked my eyes trying to getting a clear picture of Oliver, but the longer I stood there the more disoriented the beautiful man got. My brain felt flushed, as if all the blood in my body had decided to flood to my head. For a second I thought I was about to throw up again. I leaned forward towards the toilet but know urge to purge developed.

“I had……..”

I turned around to look him in the eyes

Then everything went black

Notes

Enjoy =)