[Alan's POV]

I was woken up by the ring of my phone. Damn! what time is it? It seems like he just closed his eyes and haven't even slept yet.

Fuck! where's my goddamn phone?!

He finally felt the phone underneath his pillow.

"H-hello?"

"Alan fucking Ashby! How are you man?" a loud response flooded the other end of the line.

"Austin?"

He just laughed.

"Fuck you Carlile. Haven't heard from you in ages."

"Miss me, lover boy?" Austin joked still laughing.

"In your dreams man!" But he was right. He missed his best friend. Austin is also part of the band he was in, Of Mice and Men. He is the lead unclean vocals of the band.

It's been a month since the last time I heard about him. A week after my accident, he immediately flew to Nevada. Only he knows why. But I doubt about it. Knowing him, for sure he was out clubbing. Their band is on hiatus right now because of what happened to him. I said they should continue going on tours without him. He doesn't want to disappoint their fans. But Austin, Phil, Aaron, and Tino insisted, they don't want to go without me. They said it wouldn't be the same without the ginger-cat princess on deck. Plus, the fans understands the situation and said that they will be waiting.

"When are you planning to go home?" I asked.

"I'm enjoying my life here. No hassle. And besides, I'm doing some charity works here. It's fun." he laughed again.

"Whatever you say Aus. Phil saw a picture of you on instagram. Is she your new girl?"

"No. I just met her here while doing some charity. I love being single Alan."

"Be serious with your life."

"Be serious like you? Nah! It will kill me. I love being like this. Less prone to heartache, less prone to accident."

I shook my head. I don't know what to say anymore. Obviously, that was meant for him. He never change. He always wants to play safe.

"So, how are you dude? Have you decided about the surgery?" Suddenly he asked.

"I don't want to talk about it Austin."

"You say so. How about...you know, your ex? Do you have any news about Samantha?"

"She's here."

"There in Cali? How did you know?"

"She is here... with me."

"Oh come on! Are you kidding me?" He was surprised.

"No, I'm not."

"Are you sure?" Austin still can't believe it. "I swear I saw her..never mind." His voice just trailed off.

"You know what? She suddenly came here two days ago. She says sorry and she wants us to be together again."

"And?"

"Things couldn't be the same again since she left me. I am not the same person that she used to know."

"That's my man! Congratulations dude. Finally you've realized your worth. Move on and enjoy your life."

"But how can I move on and enjoy my life if she is my self-appointed private nurse. I can't even do anything to avoid her. And worst, my Mom is siding with her."

I heard him chuckled. "That's a big problem Ashby. Sorry but I can't help you right now."

"Shit." that's all I can say.

I suddenly heard the door opens.

"Oh, I can see you're awake now." It was Nana.

I frowned. Where is Samantha?

"Hey, are you still there?" It was Austin.

"Y-yeah." Why am I even thinking of her. "What was that again?"

"Never mind. Anyway I got to go. Someone is expecting me."

"Someone special?"

"Nope. Someone interesting." then he laughed. "Goodluck dude. I hope you stick to your words. I love you bro, mwaaah." After that, all he heard was a beeping on the other line.

He sighed. His best friend is as crazy as he was.

"Is that Austin? I haven't seen him in a while." Before I even realized, Nana was already beside me and helping me stand up.

"I can do it Nana," I told her.

"There's nothing wrong with needing some help Alan."

I just scratched the back of my head.

"That's not what I meant Nana. I was just worried about you. You might not be able to handle my weight knowing I'm all grown up."

"Are you saying I'm weak?" he can imagine her with crossed arm at her chest.

I didn't answer.

I can't get it off my mind. It's bugging me.

Where is she?

I just finished eating when I finally had the courage to ask about her.

"Nana, where is...w-where is --" he's stuttering can't even finish his sentence.

What the hell Ashby! What's wrong with you?

"You're looking for Sam?" she asked sarcastically but without my knowledge, she in fact smiling.

Again, I didn't answer.

"Don't look for her. She just left."

"What?!" He can't help but raised his voice. "Why?"

"I don't know. She just said that she's had enough and she can't handle you anymore. And that maybe you'll get better if she's not around. You don't need her in your life."

She said that she'll never give up on me, but she lied again.

Here it is again, that familiar pain in my heart.

I just stayed quiet. I don't know what to think anymore. Damn!

Then suddenly I heard that voice again.

"Nana. I thought you're in the kitchen." It was Samantha. He knew she's already inside of his room. "What did I miss?" Maybe she was puzzled by the deafening silence in the room.

"I'll go ahead Sam." Finally Nana spoke and he can tell that she can't wait to get out of the room.

Suddenly, Sam spoke. "What did you do to her?"

"Huh?"

"Why is she acting like that? Don't tell me you're being hard on her?"

'What the --' so it's his fault now.

"Why don't you ask her?" I snapped. I have nothing to explain to her.

"You're so mean!" she said almost in whisper but he still heard it. If I could only see her, I can imagine that she's pouting right now.

Then later I heard the slam of the door. I'm pretty sure, she was cursing me right now. And that hit me.What if Samantha leave? What if she finally gives up on me, again? Am I really the problem here? or the people around me?



[Phoenix POV]

"If you could only see his reaction when I said that..." then Nana's voice trailed off. She can't stop laughing.

"Why did you say that to him, Nana?" I asked smiling. We're in the kitchen now.

"I don't know. I just thought of saying that to him when I saw his face when he realized you didn't wake him up."

"What's his reaction?" I suddenly got curious.

"Sadness filled his face. I thought he's gonna cry." Nana smiled. "Can you get him his lunch later?

"Huh? Why me?"

"Only you who can tolerate his stubbornness Phoenix. And besides, you're the girlfriend, right?"

I frowned. "Samantha IS HIS girlfriend."

"YOU are Samantha, right?"

I suddenly felt bad. It's like I lost my real identity. The real ME. Right now, I AM Samantha. Phoenix doesn't exist. But I know deep inside that I AM Phoenix. God! I wanted to cry. I missed being called by my own name.

I went outside by the garden. I miss my job. I miss my friends. I miss my night life. How I wish I am really on the road touring. I miss my Rise Family. I don't have my real family anymore. I lost my parents and my younger brother on an accident when I was 18 years old. I managed to stand on my own. I didn't need anybody else.

I also miss myself. Lately, I can't do what I want. But sometimes, my bitchiness come to surface.It's because of Alan! Knowing my temper, I can be a bitch. I doubt if I can convince him to undergo the eye surgery. We're like cats and dogs, we can't stand each other.

I sighed. What else do I need to do?

"Ms. Samantha!" it was Nikki who called her.

"Yes?"

"Sir Alan is calling for you."

"Did he say why?"

Nikki didn't answer.

"He's mad again?"

Nikki nodded.

I rolled my eyes and stood up.

---

"You called for me?" I asked when I reached his room.

He is still sitting by the window. The same spot where he was when she left him awhile ago.

"Are you ok?" I asked him when he suddenly placed his palm on his forehead. "Are you hurt?"

"Help me stand up."

I helped him even if his weight is twice as much as mine.

"I want to take a shower."

"W-what?!"

"I said I want to take a shower."

"Oh! right." Damn you Ashby! You're still calm as hell! "I'll tell Nana to prepare your things." I placed him on his bed and was about to went outisde when he grabbed my hands.

"Just take care of it. I don't want to disturb her."

She's still nervous as hell. "I-I'll ask Len or Nikki to do it."

Alan scoffed. "You'll let them see me naked?"

My eyes went wide.

"You mean, you -- me, I'll bathe you?!" I motioned a line at the space between us.

He nodded. "Do you think I'll ask for help if I can do it on my own?" he frowned.

I don't know what to say. Alan suddenly took off his shirt.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Do you want me to take a shower with this?" he said sarcastically. Then he took off his sweatpants.

Good grief! He's almost naked! My breathing suddenly became heavy.

'Shit!'

"W-wait!" I stopped him when he was about to take off his boxers.

'Damn! I never thought of this part!

"What?!" it's obvious that he's already irritated.

"Y-you can just leave that on."

"What the hell are you saying Sam?! You've seen me naked, a hundred times!" he tried again to pull down his boxers.

"Wait! Just take a shower alright?!" I helped him get inside the shower room.

'What the hell am I gotten myself into?' I can't concentrate. I think I'm blushing. My face is all red.

Shit! My hands are shaking. I can't scrub his body completely.

When my eyes went to his abs down to his--

I put his scrubbing sponge on his hands. "You can do it on your own. I'm done with your back." I said.

I'm about to go outside the shower, but to my surprise, he wrapped his arms around my hips and pulled me closer to him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked while smiling.

"What the hell do you think your doing Ashby?!" I tried to get off him but his gripped is stronger that my weakened knees.

I suddenly felt the water running down from my head. Alan had the shower hose and placed it above me.

Fuck!

"Alan!" I tried again to get off of him and get the hose from him. I wanted to hit him with it.

Alan, obviously, is trying to hide his laughter from me. He turned his back away from me.

To his surprise, I put the shower hose above him and turned on the cold water.

"Oh Shit!" Alan shouted. "Stop it!"

You deserve it Alan Ashby!

---

I went outside the shower room. 'Shit! I'm dripping wet!'

"Get me some clothes." He's still inside the shower..

I rolled my eyes.

I went to his cabinet and scourged over his clothes. I picked a shirt with the Of Mice and Men logo, a pair of new boxers, and a black sweatpants with a Slipknot writings on the left side.

"Here." I threw it on his bed. He's already standing by the edge of his bed with his towel wrapped around his hips.

Without hesitation, he took off his towel.

'SHIT!'

I immediately turned my back away from him.

I just shook my head. 'Fuck this! Ugh!'

"Are you done yet?" I asked without turning around.

I heard him chuckled. "You're acting really weird, Sam."

I immediately turned around to look at him. It's a good thing that he's done.

"You're imagining things." I went back to the shower room and I took out the laundry bin. When I turned around, Alan was by the door.

"Could you excuse me please?"

"Dry my hair." Then he bowed his head.

I rolled my eyes, again.

I took the towel from him, motioned him by his bed and dried his hair.

"Sam?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Do you love me?"

I stopped what I'm doing. I was caught by his question.

"I wouldn't be here if I don't."

"Just answer my question?" He demanded.

"O-of course I do."

He didn't answer, instead, he stood up and look straight at me. He can't see but he placed both his hands on my face.

"W-what are you d-doing?" I tried to calm myself.

He continued to walk until we reached the wall. I was pinned at the corner.

"What do you think I'm doing?" His voice was husky.

Suddenly, I was at lost of words. He's about to kiss me when...

Blag!

The door suddenly opened.

"Ms. Samantha, your phone kept on ring---". It was Len.

I pushed Alan away from me.

Len gasped. "S-sorry! I should have knocked first."

My eyes went to her hands and saw my phone.

"It keeps on ringing. I thought maybe it is an emergency."

I took it from her and went outside.

My heart is still beating fast. 'Oh my God!' What if Len didn't get in. He could have...Damn!

I looked at my phone. It was Jessica.

"H-hello?"

"Phoenix! I haven't heard from you! Enjoying the company of the new guys that you have forgotten to call me?" she can imagine her friend rolling her eyes. "Are you ok? Why are you catching your breath?"

"I just finished jogging." I reasoned out.

"So how was the touring? How are the new guys---"

I cut her off. "Jess, I'll call you later." then I pressed the end button. I can't talk to her, not now.

My heart is still beating fast. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack. 'What's happening to me?' I work a lot around guys and I have seen the worst but why? What's Alan has done to me?

"Ahm, Ms. Sam? Did you take a shower with your clothes on?" I didn't realize that Nikki was already in front of me

"I showered with Alan."

Her eyes went wide.

"I-I mean, I helped him took a shower. He wanted my help."

She smiled.

"What?"

"Sir Alan doesn't want anybody's help. Most especially when taking a shower. He said he doesn't want anybody's pity, he is blind, not paralytic." she heard her chuckled then went downstairs.

Poink!

'That impeccable jerk!'

I looked intently at his closed door and called Nikki, "Tell Nana to bring Alan his lunch."

"Okay."

I went straight to my room and took one of my pillows then I screamed as loud as I can.

"I'm going to shred you into pieces Alan Ashby!"

Notes

Thank you for reading guys! Do you think Phoenix is falling for Alan? What if suddenly Sam came back? What's going to be Austin's role in this whole plan?