Until I found Myself Inside Of You

Austin traced his fingers down her familiar silhouette leaving a trail of goose bumps running up her ribs. He spoke slowly, “You know I fucking love you right?” His question hung in the air for a minute as Eve tried to form a word. “ermm… yeah.” she paused, looking deep into Austin’s soft eyes. “I love you too.” She hummed as rolled over into his arms, her long blonde hair getting tangled around her neck and shoulders. The light dew on her skin stuck to her hair like velcro, itching her shoulders. She didn’t bother to move it, she was much too exhausted from her in bed workout to care what her hair was doing. The bed beginning to feel increasingly comfortable as her breathing began to slow back to a normal pace. “Hey babe.” Eve mumbled, her eyes starting to flutter open. “mmhmmm?” Austin hummed as he started to drift away. “We can do this more often if you want to.” A moment passed and Eve look up at Austin’s face slightly above hers. His eyes were shut and his breathing was deep. She sighed heavy, letting her chest press against his side. She let her body sink into his, desperately trying to calm her racing heart. She lied there with her eyes open, staring at the intricate detail in the great eagle tattoo on his scarred chest. As the minutes passed like hours, she tried to focus on her heart beat. Tried to draw in some kind of white noise that would hopefully drown out the itch in her arms and the burning in her veins. She took one last deep breath and shut her eyes, pressing her face into Austin’s shoulder. Maybe some of his strength would transfer to her. Maybe she could spend one night at his house without disappearing for a fix.
It felt like she hadn’t been asleep for more than five minutes when Eve jolted herself awake. It was still dark outside, but she could swear a bright light woke her up. Her unadjusted eyes paced the room frantically. Her sweaty palms dug into the sheets and her damp hair now felt like snakes around her neck. She tore through the sheets, searching frantically for her cell phone. Austin stirred beside her as she began to panic. “Wha-“ Eve felt her heart jump, she snapped her eyes over to Austin, her hair whipping around her shoulders. “Woah, calm down.” Austin mumbled, his face not leaving his pillow. “What did ya lose?” His voice was calm but groggy, coarse but soothing. His tired eyes peered up at her, innocent but damaged. “I was uh- uh- uh-,” She stammered, “I was looking for my phone, I think I heard it go off.” She spoke quickly, in short bursts. Nervous and shaky she slowly moved her hands around the bed, making sure to not break eye contact with Austin, who still laid half asleep in the middle of the bed. His eyes began to slowly shut again, “Well I hope you find it.” He hummed as he rolled himself over into the blankets. Eve starred at him for a few more seconds before jumping out of the bed and digging through the clothes that littered the bedroom for. “Aha!” She squealed as she pulled her phone out of the pocket of her canvas jacket that was crumpled on the floor. She dropped onto the light wooden floor, her knees sticking to the glossy surface. Her phone screen lit up, through the many cracks torn into the screen she saw it. The little message app had a nice red bubble with a white 3 in it. Eve pressed her thumb over the little glowing square. One text from Austin saying “Here”, one from her phone company saying she was out of data, and the last was her golden ticket. She clicked the message strand and read her favorite three words, “Come get it.” In white lettering. She quickly erased the message and stuffed her phone back into her jacket pocket. Gathering the rest of her clothes she began to dress as she made her way toward the bedroom door.
She reached for the doorknob but stopped before her fingers could feel the cool of its brass. She gripped her jacket tightly in one hand and her shoes in another. Turning over her shoulder she looked at Austin laying on the bed. He looked so peaceful, unaware he would wake up alone again. She always wished she could make it back by morning, but it never seemed to work out that way. She wondered what he thought when he woke up to an empty bed. Never given an explanation of her where abouts. Never given a reason for her absence. It’s not like he was just some one night stand that you want to be gone by morning. Half her clothes were in his closet, her cat even lived here. He never even brought it up, he never even asked. A pit started to form in Eve’s stomach. What if he didn’t care that she was gone? Maybe he liked waking up to an empty bed and no responsibility’s for anything that happened the night before. She didn’t let herself finish the thought. She grabbed the handle and pushed the door open, a slow squeaking followed by a sharp yowl. “Sh sh sh!” Eve whispered. “Nala, shhh!” Austin’s large orange cat named Nala, had been waiting outside the door, as she did almost every night. Waiting for someone to wake up, waiting for them to step outside that door so she could work her magic. Purring, wrapping herself around Eve’s legs. Opening her mouth and letting out another long yowl. “Nala. No! It’s not breakfast yet! Nala. Shhh!” Eve pleaded, wishing more than anything that Austin could sleep through his baby’s whines for attention. There was low groaning coming from behind her, she tensed her shoulders, the bed squeaked, and she heard Austin’s familiar heavy sigh. Frozen Eve stood waiting for the door behind her to open. Footsteps slowly approaching, she held her breath. The tumblers in the door knob began to turn and the door slowly creaked open, Eve shut her eyes. “Hey, babe.” I tired voice whispered behind her. “She felt Austin’s heavy, warm hands on her shoulders. Slowly grazing her arms, stopping just above her wrists. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up on end as the warmth of Austin’s tired breath came down on her shoulders. “Come back to bed won’t you.” He breathed, ignoring Nala’s yowling he gently pressed his chest against Eve’s shoulders. Eve was still ridgidly tense, wishing he would just walk away. Placing a kiss softly a top her head, he released her arms, and backed away a step. “Alright.” His voice was rough, but still soothing. It pricked at her ears, prickled down her spine, tugged at her heart strings. Austin groaned a bit and crouched to the floor. Scooping up the large orange cat into his arms. He turned and walked back into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him without a word.
Eve finally released the breath she had been holding. She felt terrible for doing tat to him, but only for a second. It only took a second for her to forget the pain she just caused him. Only a second for the burning in her wrists to send her nearly bounding down the curved regal staircase toward the dark foyer. The heels she held in her hands clicked together as she pulled open the large glass door.Cool night air flooding into the house as she slammed the door behind her. She didn’t even care about being quiet, she was late. The night was calm, but it felt like it was rush hour traffic as Eve peered down the road at the lights that seemed to stream by her like rockets. She couldn’t bare to look at the street lights as she half walked half jogged, down the empty street. Her bare feet on the cool pavement. Her heels clicking wildly in her hand.She kept up like this for about three blocks though it felt like miles. Gasping for air she leaned against a lamp pole. The galre from the street lights made her head pound, her eyes water, and her palms sweat. “Eve baby!” A deep, hoarse voice rang out ricocheting off cars parked on the street like bullets. Eve stood up straight she didn’t look for the voice, she knew it would be behind her any second.
“Boo.” The voice whispered in her ear. Sending uncomfortable shivers down her spine, causing her ears to ring and her heart to race. “I uhm-“ she stammered “I need two bumps.” Eve quaked. Her voice timid, her demands reasonable. Her neck shrunk into her shoulders as the voice behind her boomed with laughter. “Two? Two bumps? Oh that’s rich baby rich!” The laughter continued. “Hunny you don’t got enough, store credit, for two bumps!” Eve didn’t move, she didn’t dare turn to face the voice. Her arms burning, her palms sweater, her ankles shaking. She slowly brought herself to her knees. The rough pavment scratching against the fabric of her thin jeans. The voice laughed again, this time louder, meaner. “Girl, you desperate, huh?” He choked between laughs. “Mmmmm, okay I can work with this.” He growled. He moved around eve till his was standing right in front of her. The tips of his sneakers nearly touching Eve’s knees braced against the pavement. Eve didn’t look up. She kept her eyes on his shoes, she couldn’t bare to see his face. She twitched nervously as she heard his zipper drop. She shut her eyes and tilted her chin upward just a touch. Her jaw vibrated with fear as she slowly opened her mouth. With a loud clap and a stunning amount of force, Eve’s shoulder hit the pavement. Her hair tangled over her face she didn’t try to get up. “You get one, and you owe me for two.” The voice spat. Eve pressed her hand to her cheek, she could feel the small pavement stones pressed into her fingertips. Her breath shuttered out of her chest and her eyes grew hot. Tears streamed down her aching cheek, around her lips, and off her chin. Each breath like knives in her chest as she convulsed on the pavement.
Her vision blurry with tears she pushed her hair away from her face, and dragged her hand over the pavement until she found it. She pulled a small tied off balloon into her fingers and held it tightly in her hand. Still brushing hair from her face eve peered cautiously around her. The voice had since vanished, but the echo of his presence remained in the back of Eve’s mind. She took a few deep breaths and began to pull herself from the ground. She wiped the tears from her eyes and stared up the street, she couldn’t go back to Austin’s. She picked her shoes from the ground, and dug her hand into her pocket. Replacing the small rubber balloon with her cell phone. She held it tight in her hand, emergency dial open and ready. Eve crossed the street and began down “Carver Ave.” heading toward a small red neon sign. Eve paced down the tight road. Tall vacant buildings on either side of her. The ground littered with debris and garbage. Small bags, torn balloons, busted needles, bent spoons burned cans. Everything being reflected back at her from the light of that neon sign. Eve cautiously approached the large wooden door hanging below the sign. She knocked carefully, looking down at the small slit of slight escaping from under the door. She saw what she needed, on the ground lay a small hypodermic needle. Sealed in it’s original sterile packaging and all. Eve knocked on the door again. “One per person!” a small voice called from beyond the door. Eve nodded to herself and bent down to the base of the door. Picking up the small plastic package and stowing it away in her jacket pocket. She walked back up the road, this time with a giddy gate to her stride she bounded down the road as a child might on their way out to recess.

Notes

Please leave feedback. I do have more written but won't continue if I don't get much interest in the story line. Please Comment, Fav. Whatver you wanna do. <333