Another You

It had been 2 days since Austin had been discharged from hospital and it was all my fault he was hurt. The American Dream Tour still carried on but without Of Mice and I can tell they were all pretty bummed about it.

Right now I was at Austin's on the couch sipping on a cup of tea.

"Are you okay?" Austin called from behind me, startling me

"Holy crap you scared the shit out of me" He chuckled "Why are you up out of bed! Your supposed to be resting" I said as he walked around the sofa to sit next to me

"Yeah I know but I can't sleep" He groaned, I could tell he was exhausted

"Yeah me too" I laughed

"Why not?" He said

"To many things floating round my head" I said gesturing to my head

"Do you want to tell me... I have so many questions to ask" He huffed

"Eh.. not really... why do you have so many questions anyway?" I sipped on my hot drink

"Because I have been so confused the last 3 days" He sighed

"Well go ahead and ask" I smiled

"If Andy left you why did he come for you again" He shyly asked

"To be honest I have no idea.. He has always been jealous if I have a new boyfriend, somehow he has kept on track of everything I have been doing since we split, he used to send me messages saying he would get me back because he never looses what he 'owns'" I said moving the hair out of my face

"Have you not reported any of this what he has been doing to you?" Austin enquired

"I did once but he got out... he knows people, I never try any more but I need to do something about him because I can't keep living my life in fear Austin.. I am so scared to turn a corner and he will be there ready to take me back.. I don't want to go back" I cried

"We will get him" He stated

"Oh yeah? When last time he shot you? We are useless to him he will soon get me and there will be nothing you can do about it" I cried in fear "Can we please change the subject"

"Just don't think about him" He said "What else is going on in that brain? It can't just be that crazy ex" he laughed trying to lighten the mood

"Can't tell you" I laughed at the fact that I need to tell him but I physically couldn't

"Why not?" He gave me the puppy eyes

"Because I would have to kill you" I smiled

"It can't be that bad, come on.. tell me" He shuffled closer to me

"Please don't be mad at me" I cried

"I could never be mad at you... unless you have killed someone" He laughed

"No.." I laughed awkwardly "When you were rushed into hospital so was I... I had really bad stomach cramps and couldn't get rid of them" I let my self prepare for what I was about to say next "I lost a strange amount of blood so the doctors did some tests and they found out I was pregnant... with your baby Austin" I smiled at the thought of having his child "But miscarried because of the trauma that had happened.. All that time I was sat on that hospital bed I was thinking 'I was carrying your child but for the second time that heartless son of a bitch took that away from me'" I cried again. I looked at Austin's face and saw tears in his eyes.

"H..How old was she?" He whispered

"She was 1 month... I know that's not a long time and I didn't even know about her but I don't think I have ever felt so empty... so worthless in my life" I stuttered

"You're not worthless.. you are strong, you have been able to put up with so much shit and still get out of it with a smile on your face.. I'm so proud of you" He smiled

"Your not mad at me?" I whispered

"No.. Of course not" He smiled

"Okay.. I also have one more thing to tell you about" I inhaled "When the doctors found this out they also saw on my previous medical records that I had a miscarriage before this and due to how much blood I had lost and the panic I went through they told me I can't ever have kids... I'm infertile Austin" I sobbed I was sick of crying but I needed to get all of this out

"Hey don't worry about it now.. we will sort everything out and all of it will be back to normal.. I promise" He pulled me into his chest as I cried

"I was going to be a mommy.. y..you were going to be a daddy" I sniffled as the tears fell down my face

"I know baby.. I know" I felt a tear drip on my head this only made me hug him tighter

"I'm supposed to be dragging you to the shop buying baby clothes, getting angry at you because of hormones" I laughed

"And watching spongebob with her while she takes her first steps" He sniffled "God she would have been so beautiful" he cried

"I know.. God.. I can't remember the last time I cried this much" I chuckled "I just wanted this so bad.. thinking about it now"

"No matter what ever happens to you, you will always be in my heart even if you can't have children you will always have my undying and unconditional love for you, I will love you forever and always Isobel"

Notes

The feels .-.


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