Austin's pov:

The room was so silent that the thumping of my heart sounded so clear it seemed like it was pulled out of my chest and being held next to my ear.

I turn my head to the side to see the bed next to mine, squinting in the darkness. The room is dark from the night, but I can still spot a large lump on top of the bed. I almost have the urge to laugh, knowing that under the burrito of blankets is Hazel. She always needed to be wrapped up in as much blanket as she could manage, hogging them all to no extent when we slept together.

But I didn't laugh. Instead, I frown, sitting up and swinging my legs around so they dangle off the edge of the bed, letting my feet rest against the floor of the hotel room. Now, I can hear the soft noise coming from the music playing from Hazel's earphones. And if I'm hearing it, that means it's up loud. And if it's up loud, that means she's upset.

It's not hard to figure out why. I mean, I've had mine in all night too.

I stare at the lump of blankets that completely shield her from my sight (which I'm sure she did on purpose) and I think about how easy it would be to go over there. To just slide behind her and wrap my arms around her frame that's become so foreign. To maybe make things so that we both don't stay up blasting music in our ears because we're so upset.

Then when I stand up, I feel a pull towards her bed. And I almost do it, but instead of taking that step forward, I turn and move sideways, shaking my head as I break away from the urge, knowing that I was being stupid while I made the space between us grow.

But the space is already nearly at it's maximum- metaphorically, at least. Because even when we are up in each others faces, yelling, we couldn't be farther apart.

And I'll admit, there are times where I'll go over to her, coming up with some excuse to get pissy with her just so I can be close to her again. A lot of times it's just to interrupt when some of the guys come up to flirt with her.

I'm an idiot.

But at the same time, I'm glad we're so far apart. Because when I'm near her I can't control myself and it's so god damned easy to snap from the underlying anger.
Sometimes I don't know why, maybe it's because I have so much inside of me when it comes to Hazel. Maybe it's because when I'm around her I feel so much... Anger, sadness, love, hate, grief, hurt... so on. It's always been like that with Hazel because she has always made me feel so much, so strongly. She's crazy and it makes me crazy.

But it's like I'm not allowed to feel these things now, except for anger. And this anger absorbs all the other emotions, channeling them towards Hazel, growing and growing each time I see her. Especially when that's all she does, too.

And she does it so easily. Almost as easily as she moved on from me, or as easily as she lets other guys flirt with her, or as easily as she got a new boyfriend, or as easily as she said she didn't care about me.

That's what pisses me off, and watching her only makes it worse so that when she's near and does or says something, I can't help myself.

It reminds me of all my other relationships that ended either because I was cheated on or the girl just got tired of me and needed a new guy to play with. And then if it did end somewhat normally, I would be hung up on the girl, making a big deal out of it while she is already with someone the next week.

And I was determined to not let that happen with Hazel.

I thought she was different. And even though I fucked it up, I never thought she'd do the same thing they all did. It's only been a few months and I thought maybe the time would be good for her to cool down, but I was wrong. It was only heating up with her and some other guy.

But the thing is, with all my other girlfriends I would feel bad for myself and slug around like some sad, pathetic kid while the girl was partying and living her life and making an embarrassment of me. This time though... this time I wasn't and haven't been letting that happen.

So maybe that's why I can't control myself? Because I'm in this place where it seems that it's almost a subconscious thing to protect myself from that...

Fuck. It's all just a mess. We're both just messes. And putting us in the same room together like this is like dousing the walls with gasoline and then throwing a lighter inside.

Remind me to kill Alan when I get the chance.

*

Hazel's pov:

Halfway through the night my phone died, leaving me with the deafening silence of the dark room as I struggled to fall asleep. The whole time I felt this weight heavy on my shoulders that can only be truly described well by using the name of Austin Carlile.

The fact that he was only a few feet away from me was very unnerving and also very stressful. I even managed to wrap myself up in a cocoon of blankets to shield myself from him, hoping and wishing that maybe I could break out of it in the morning like a beautiful butterfly that could just fly past him without a care in the world.

But instead I wake up like a tired, grouchy, and sleep-deprived looking animal.

I shove and kick all the blankets off me, getting a little overly aggressive after I push myself to finally get out of bed and not only face the world, but more importantly, Austin.

Once free of the restricting duvet, I sit up, yawning while I look over to Austin's bed. The covers are messy and pillows are pointing in all different directions, showing signs of him sleeping there, but there was no person.

I scanned as much of the hotel room that I could see, but there was no sign of Austin anywhere. This is a good thing.

I plug my phone in to charge before sliding out of bed and quickly shuffling into the bathroom, with a handful of clothes, to shower. I take my time to relish in the hot, calming water, knowing that this will probably be the last time today I'll be relaxed and alone.

When I'm done, I get dressed, then head back out from the bathroom. Walking towards my bed, I put my dirty clothes into my backpack, nearly jumping out of my pants when I turn to see Austin sitting on the couch behind me.

He notices and rolls his eyes, looking back down to his phone while he eats a muffin. My guess is he went down to get breakfast from downstairs.

I quickly go over to my phone that is now on to see what time it is, huffing in agitation when I see it's 10:30. Breakfast ends downstairs at 10. "You could have woken me up so I could come get breakfast with you," I grumble angrily towards Austin, starting to walk past him to go to the kitchen.

"No, I couldn't have," he snarks back, making me snort.

"Of course you couldn't have," I say with sarcasm lacing my voice, my face in a scowl. I just really wanted a damn muffin and I missed breakfast and I'm cranky because I barely slept and I don't feel like dealing with Austin and I'm all a mess.

Austin stands up from the couch and walks fast past me to get into the kitchen first, throwing away the muffin wrapper. "No, I actually couldn't," he turns to look at me. "What was it? Rule number 3?" He asks, even though he knows the answer. "Maybe it was rule number two that said 'do not wake me up'.. I'm just following your rules."

My face flushed, a little embarrassed that Austin just won that one. The worst part is he knows he won and he knows he embarrassed me, so he smirks. "Whatever," I mumble. "No need to be a dick about it."

"A dick?" Austin breathes, not letting it go as he takes a step forward. "I'm just repeating what you said to me last night," he jabs a finger at me.

"Yeah, but you're saying it in a dick way," I lean forward to snap back at him, my sleep deprivation really showing through my attitude (and probably in the bags under my eyes, too).

"If the way I'm saying it makes me a dick, then what does that make you last night? Hm? Because you're sure as hell not some sweet angel!" He speaks with his hands and I reach up to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"I never said I was an angel! Jesus Christ! Give me a break!" I exclaim, staring up at him with an exasperated look, still embarrassed I was caught.

"Do you know how much of a hypocrite you're being! You could easily have given me a break as much as I could have you! God," he huffs, shaking his head.

"Whatever, Austin," I cross my arms, over this. "This is me giving you a break, so feel free to leave."

He scoffs, shaking his head once more. He doesn't say anything as he leaves, brushing up against my shoulder as he goes past me, but his actions and body language still upset me just as much as his words could.

"Ass," I mumble to myself, walking over to the counter to lean on because a wave of exhaustion hits me. But as I do this, I get a clear view of the table I was standing in front of before, spotting the extra muffin and full glass of orange juice that is sitting on the table.

In the trash was Austin's empty glass with his muffin wrapper and since he didn't eat those ones, that meant he brought them up for me..

I blushed again, but this time there was no one to see, which I'm happy about because I feel like a total bitch all of the sudden... He brought me food.

Why did he do that? He goes out of his way to piss me off but then goes and gets me a muffin?

Whatever, it's probably nothing. He hates me and I hate him. It's as simple as that.

Notes

oooooomg this chapter is so short and soo bad I'm sorry!

I was having writers block but I still wanted to get something up because I didn't this weekend because I was so busy ahhh! I hope I cleared some things up for why Austin's bein a dick?
sorry to keep you guys waiting for some good stuff to happen c:

Let me know what you think! I'll update again soon and hopefully you'll enjoy those chapters a lot moree! <3 I love you guys!!<3