Alan POV

I woke up with Austin still lying next to me and snoring. It was cute, actually. It was already Friday and Aaron texted me that he's having a party tonight so I called him and told him that I met a boy – Austin. He said to bring him with me, so they can meet him. I lent Austin some clothes and we got some breakfast and went to school before we'd be late. I hurried to class while Austin stopped at his locker. I had Algebra and as soon as I walked in, I saw Josh, sitting next to my desk. Jesus, why can't I ever get rid of him? I though Ashley was sitting next to me.
I threw my bag next to the desk and took a seat. Again, he started staring at me.
''Look, if you don't fucking stop, I swear to god I'll punch you.'' I muttered when I turned to the side to face him.
''No swearing Ashby.'' Mr. Lovering said to me.
''Sorry.'' I apologized and looked back at Josh. He did that thing again, he put his finger to his lips and raised his eyebrow.
''Shh, no swearing Ashby.'' He said.
I raised my hand. ''Yes Mr. Ashby?'' Asked Mr. Lovering.
''Can I be exused? I need to go to the bathroom.'' I replied.
''We just started.''
''Please, it's urgent.'' I was begging. I needed to get away from Josh, he was making me nervous and I could feel my panic attack starting.
''I'll make an exception this time, go.'' He said. He was one of my favorite teachers, knew I had a condition, because once I got a severe panic attack in the cafeteria and he drove me to the hospital.
I quickly walked to the bathroom and sat on the floor, breathing heavily. I did my excercise and after a minute or so, I felt better. Then I heard someone open the door and I quickly rose from the ground and went to wash my hands. I saw Josh, standing there and looking at me.
''What is with you, are you fucking insane?!'' I was getting really fucking pissed.
''Whoa, chill Ashby. I just came to check up on you.'' He calmly said.
''Uhm, I'm sorry. It's just that, I hate it when people stare at me for no fucking reason.'' I squeezed some soap on my hand and washed my hands.
''It's not for no reason.'' He replied when he leaned on the wall and put his palms into his pockets.
I dried my hands and stepped a bit closer to him.
''Then why is it?'' I asked.
''Isn't it obvious?''
''No, please enlighten me, because it's getting really fucking frustrating.''
''Oh, come on Alan, we both know what this is about.'' Did he just call me Alan? My palms were getting sweaty again, as he was getting closer and closer. He didn't stop until his face was very close to mine and there were only a few inches separating us.
''You're a total weirdo... but I like that.'' He said. His lips were getting closer and I was just standing there, unable to move.
''Everything I do or say is for a reason. I like you Ashby.'' He said and pressed his lips against mine. It felt like I was going to explode, I coudln't move, but it was like I was ticking and ticking and then... kaboom!
I pulled away. ''What are you doing? I have a boyfriend, you saw us!'' I was shocked! How could I let myself do that, I should've walked away when he was getting closer to me. Damn, how I was mad at myself.
''I saw him, yeah. That doesn't mean I can't like you.'' He said.
''Then why did you kiss me, it's not appropriate!''
''Then why did you let me?''
I was speechless. He was right, I shouldn't have let him. His eyes met mine for a few seconds and I noticed, how it changed. He didn't look at me like before. It was a disappointed look, a sad look. I can't do anything about it though, I love Austin.
''Alan...'' He said and reached his hand to grab mine, but I walked past him.
''Please, just stay away from me.'' I said and walked back to the classroom. I was hyperventilating a little and I was even more pissed than before. I have to tell Austin, I just don't know how. I felt guilty, even though he kissed me first and I didn't want it. I needed to see Austin and feel his warm embrace, his hands pulling me in for a hug, his lips kissing mine. But unfortunately I had to wait until after class, so I returned to my seat and started scribbling into my notebook, not paying any attention to algebra. I was weak, it needed to stop.

Notes

Here it is :) a new chapter, tell me what you think :P

Enjoy it, rate/comment/subscribe & thanks to all who already have <3

Much luv :*
[credit for the title goes to Silverstein]