Forgive Me- Part 2

Amelia's POV

The sun shone through a crack in the curtains and onto the bed, informing me that I had intact lain awake in bed all night. I roll over and pull the covers over my head with a sad sigh. I didn't like not sleeping in the same bed as Jaime, and knowing that he was so close, that I COULD but that he didn't want me there made it so much worse. At least when he was on tour I knew that he would come home and be with me again, this time, I didn't know if he WOULD want to be with me again. The look in his eye when he told me to leave was imprinted into my brain and all I could see was the pure hatred that was in them at that moment, the anger, and the betrayal. I knew the second he looked at me like that no words I said could have changed his mind. I so hope Vic's right though, hopefully he's sobered up, thought through the events of last night and realised that I would never do that to him. Especially with Vic!

Knowing that I wouldn't be able to get even a moment of rest I pull myself from the bed and hesitantly make my way down to the kitchen. I find Vic already there standing over the stove cooking what smelt like pancakes. The normally comforting smell made me almost queasy to the stomach. I can't even consider eating without Jaime here... I sit on a bar stool at the kitchen counter and watch Vic as he works his was almost professionally around the kitchen.

"Were you a chef in a past life?" I ask suddenly making him jump so badly the pancake almost flew from the pan.

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed placing his free hand over his heart. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know you're a good cook"

"I can only cook a couple of things..."

"Like?" I ask

"Pancakes, tacos... Simple stuff..."

"Tacos hey? You're a true Mexican" I joke

"Oh shut up" he chuckled. He plated up the pancake and pushed one to me.

"Oh no, it's okay I'm not hungry"

"Mil, I know that you don't eat when you're upset. I also know that you are more than upset about last night and I'm not going to let you starve yourself because of the stupid shit that he said."

"Do you think he'll call?" I ask quietly. Vic doesn't answer straight away but just stares at the food on his plate.

"Well, if he doesn't we can just go over and explain?"

"Didn't you see the way he looked at me though? He would never believe a word that came out of my mouth..."

"Well why don't we give him, say three hours" he said checking his watch, "it'll be 11 by then and even on his worst days he's awake by ten."

"Okay, at 11 we'll head over..."

The hours tick by slowly, almost mockingly so. After what felt like an hour I would check the clock only to find it had only been five minutes. God, please call. Please...

11 am came and went but neither Vic nor I wanted to admit it. We wanted to believe that he would call and neither wanted to take the next step in heading over. It wasn't until almost twelve thirty that we finally convinced ourselves that we had to go over there. We hopped into his car and headed over to my- well, Jaime's house.

I stood at the door for a few minutes before I worked up the courage to knock. The wait for him to come to the door was excruciating and when he did, it wasn't with welcome arms.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was cold and his eyes were hard and dark.

"Jaime I-"

"If your here to make up some bullshit excuse I don't want to hear it. Go back to Vic; I'm sure he's a great fuck."

"Jaime I've never slept with him!"

"You really think I'll believe that? That same bullshit you fed Isaac for months? No. Fuck you, fuck Vic, go live your lives away from me." I didn't know what to say. I just stood there, trying to hold back all the tears that were building in my eyes. He looked at me for a moment before going to close the door. I saw a flash of something cross his eyes before they darkened further.

"I'll pack up your stuff and drop it at Vic's" he said icily before shutting the door on me. I don't know how long I stood there, tears pouring down my face; but eventually Vic emerged from the car and led me back to the front seat. He tried talking to me, asking me what happened I think, but I can't find my voice. Jaime's gone. It wasn't just a drunk mistake. We are actually over. He doesn't want me anymore. I don't get to have him in my life anymore. I won't get to grow old with him; we'll never get to get married and have kids. I'll never have the life I wanted here. I'll never get to be with him.

I don't know how but I was now tucked into a bed but sleeping was the last thing I wanted. I pulled myself out of the bed and over to my bag. Tucked away in the back were my spare razor heads. Expertly, I pulled it apart in seconds. Three blades now resting in my hands. Despite everything that had happened, my promise to Jaime flashed through my mind and brought along a fresh wave of sobs. Somehow I manage to grab my phone and speed dial Jaime. I made a promise...

"Amelia. Don't fucking call me again. We're done. I don't want to hear from you again" the line went dead and I completely lost it. The blades no longer looked threatening but comforting. I yank down my pants exposing my now healed thighs and I hold one of the blades carefully between my fingers; it was as if I never stopped.


If he won't keep his promise than why should I?

Notes

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN :D

I love you all I swear, I don't mean to emotionally traumatize you :)

xox