Forgive Me- Part 2

Amelia's POV

The restaurant was absolutely gorgeous and the food was amazing. There was some argument when it came to the bill as both of us were insisting to pay but we ended up just splitting it because despite Jaime saying how he brought me out so it's on him, I feel as though financially, were very one sided and I hate it. I do have money, I can afford to pay but he never lets me. I get that he's being sweet but I feel bad when I take his money.

We leave the restaurant with huge smiles on out faces, I don't even know why I was so happy but for some reason I just felt that everything was going right for once. Yea I lost my dad and the thought of him tears me apart, but being with Jaime helps me, not forget the pain but live with it and not have to constantly freak out about it. I finally feel happy.

We drive back to the house, Jaime holding my hand whilst focusing on the road, his thumb tracing over mine occasionally causing the smile on my face to return again and again. As we pull up at the house I immediately notice the activity inside. Utterly confused I am pulled from the car and into the house. Everyone was inside and I mean everyone, the bands, the crews, and a heap of people I didn't even know. What the hell?

"You said you wanted to see everyone, so everyone came over" Jaime said when he took in my confusion.

"When did you plan this?" I ask dumbfounded

"Just before we headed back"

"But..." I was still confused but Jaime just smiled and dragged me into the crowd. Almost immediately I'm engulfed in arms. Shocked, I couldn't bring myself to hug them back and it really didn't help that I couldn't figure out who it was.

"I'm so sorry about your dad love" a said a man in a British accent. I smile softly and hug him.

"Thanks Oli"

"It's okay, we were worried about you, you know. No one could find you..."

"I know; I am so sorry... I just- I couldn't function I guess"

"I understand, would have been a huge shock... I'm just glad you’re okay now. You seem happy"

I can't help but glance over at Jaime who was what looked like an in depth conversation with Alan. A smile automatically forms on my lips and I hear Oli chuckle.

"You guys are a brilliant couple. He loves you a lot" he said with a smile

"I love him too... I honestly don't know where I would be right now if I hadn't met him"

"But you did so there's no reason to worry about it" he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and directed me over to a table that seemed to be acting as a bar. "Let's get you something to drink shall we?"

"No, honestly I do not feel like drinking."

"Seriously? I heard you were an amazing drinker"

"Yea but for some reason the thought of alcohol makes me feel queasy"

"But Mil!" Mike whined walking over to us "I got you vodka and red bulls"

"Thanks Mikey but I think I'll save them for another night, I'm just not feeling it"

"You're no fun" he pouted.

"Can you guys do me a favour though?" I ask them

"Sure" they say automatically

"Can you get Jaime trashed? I think he needs to let loose for a night, he's been putting up with my shit for the past two weeks and I think he really needs a night off"

"I don't think he minds Mil but yea I guess we can" Oli accepted.

"Thanks" I smile "plus, I've never seen him actually wasted. Tipsy yea but not wasted"

"Seriously? He's the funniest drunk! When you don't lose him anyway" Mike laughed

"What do you mean?" I asked

"He just disappears sometimes"

"Alrighty, any who you guys go get drunk, I'm going to get out of this dress and into something I am more willing to get ruined"

"You're getting into your pj’s aren't you" Mike laughed

"Yep!" I laugh before saying goodbye and running upstairs. I get changed and carefully put away the beautiful new necklace Jaime bought me before heading back downstairs. I move through the mass of people make small conversation with some on the way, before I find myself at the pantry. I swear I always end up here... I shrug and pull out a packet of Cheetos and sit on the bench watching everyone and taking in how they acted around different people. I love doing this, seeing how people interact. The psychologist in me is fascinated by how quickly people change from person to person. One second they'll be loud and boisterous but then they'll be with someone else having a conversation about the creation of the universe, it was fascinating!

I spot Jaime taking shots with Mike and smile. He has a huge grin on his face and seems to be struggling to hold in a laugh. It's good to see him like this, so laid back, having fun... Sometimes I feel as though I suck the fun out of his life. He's always so much more serious when he's with me and he's rarely as outgoing as he is right now. He may make me more outgoing but I make him less... I pull him back. Am I really good for him? I know how much he's helped me but have I done anything at all for him? I sigh deeply and suddenly someone shoves a block of chocolate into my hands and sits beside me on the counter. I look over to find Vic who seemed to be completely sober.

"Not drinking?" I ask him

"I need to make sure Tony doesn't climb onto the roof and Jaime doesn't disappear and I figured I could do that best sober" he answered.

"I could watch them, you can drink" I say breaking off a piece of chocolate and handing it to Vic who accepted it gratefully before I pop another into my own mouth.

"Nah it's okay, I'm not really in the mood anyway. What about you? Why aren't you joining in with the party?"

"Same I guess..."

"So what's up? You looked upset when I came over"

"Oh it's nothing" I say automatically.

"I know we're not heaps close Mil but you can talk to me about anything..."

I look at him for a long moment before letting out a sigh and giving in.

"I feel as though I'm holding him back..." I say quietly looking over at Jaime.

"How so?"

"Well look at him, he's so happy right now... I never seem him like this, he just seems better when I'm not around..."

Vic smiled softly at me. "Milly, you mean the world to him. When he's like this you're the only thing he talks about. Honestly he never shuts up about you."

"Really?" I ask and he nods.

"He's completely different since he met you, better... I don't know how to explain it because you didn't know him before but he's better now. More mature? I don't know but trust me you're good for him. You should have seen him when he couldn't get into contact with you..."

"Was it bad?" I asked worried and once again he nodded

"It was as if his whole world was crumbling around him. He couldn't sit down because he was so worried and he was so sure that something was wrong." I can't speak, I feel absolutely terrible for that. I made Alex fly all the way from Baltimore; I made Jaime miss tour and now finding out how much I hurt him...

"Milly... Jaime told us..." I look at Vic questioningly and he just looks at my thighs.

"What?" I ask my voice quivering

"He was in the middle of a break down... He thought you were dead or something and he just started going off..." Once again I can't find words. "I know how you feel Mil, but you can't let yourself turn to the blade..."

"But sometime I NEED it..." I manage to whisper.

"I know, it's a craving; but I know you can find a way around it"

"How? How could you possibly know?" I could feel tears beginning to form in my eyes.

"I've been through the same thing. Over different things I bet, but I know the longing, I know how it seems to take away the pain but trust me it doesn't, it just masks it. It's all still there and cutting will just build on it"

"It's so hard though..."

"I know. But I also know that you're strong enough to get through it. Plus, you have all of us here to help you; none of us will judge you and we'll all be here for you whenever you need us. I promise"

I lunge at him and wrap my arms around his neck hugging him tightly. "Thanks Vic"

"It's okay Mil" he says softly wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me back.

We stay like that for a while until someone clears their throat. I pull away from Vic to find the source and my eyes meet with a pair of pain filled ones. Jaime...?

Notes

I APPOLOGISE FOR ANY AND ALL GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN ALL OF MY CHAPTERS BECAUSE I HATE PROOF READING!

anyway... what do you guys think is gonna happen??

Let me know!!

xox