Forgive Me- Part 2

Amelia's POV

When I awoke in the morning I found that my mind was clearer than it had been in days, this however was not completely a good thing. My pain was sharper and more noticeable and I wanted nothing more than to go into the bathroom, pull apart a razor and tear it across my skin. However, I had already broken that promise once and Jaime is right here with me now. As if he can read my thoughts, he suddenly wraps his arm around me and drew me into his chest.

"I love you Milly. I'll always be here for you" his voice was rough as though he was still half asleep as he spoke. I rolled over to face him and found that he still had his eyes half closed and a small smile on his face. I tilt my head up and press a gentle kiss to his lips to which he draws me closer. I pull away with a small chuckle.

"I misses you Jaime" I whispered.

"I missed you too Mil."

"Why are you back so soon? I didn't think you finished your for another week"

"Yea, but then no one could get into contact with you. Then Alex came back here and found you like that... "

"So you're still meant to be on tour?!"

"Amelia calm down, you're more important right now"

"But all those people-"

"Will still get their show, just with Aaron filling in for me"

"Jaime! You shouldn't have done that!"

"Milly if I hadn't of come back when I did you'd be dead before the week was out!"

I froze at his words; the realisation of my actions of the last week finally hitting me. What if I had? What if Jaime came home to find me dead on the kitchen floor? What about my family? They just lost dad and then if they had lost me too? It would have destroyed them! I'm a horrible person! How could I have done that?

"Mil, I'm sorry" he drew me close again, whispering softly to me over and over as my body shook in his arms.

"I- I am so sorry Jaime! I didn't- I mean I-"

"Shh, shh it's okay. It's okay I understand. I was just worried, that's all" he traced his hand up and down my back. "Come on, let's get you something to eat, you haven't eaten in a week"

"Can- can I shower first? I feel disgusting..."

"Only if I can come too" he said with a sly grin. I could tell he was just trying to cheer me up. I smile and smack him playfully on the chest.

"On one condition"

"Which is?"

"You carry me"

"Seriously?" He laughed and shook his head but stood and lifted me into his arms. He walked us to the bathroom and placed me gently on the toilet seat before turning and running the bath.

"You know I wasn't really expecting you to carry me?"

"You couldn't have told me that before?" He said jokingly

"Nah, why do that when you can carry me?"

"You are so very lucky I love you"

"I know." I stand to walk to him but soon find I don't have the strength. My legs buckle beneath me and I fall to the floor. Jaime is beside me in a second.

"Mil?" He panicked "Mil? Are you alright?

"I- I'm fine I just- I don't know"

"It's because your body is running on empty..." He sighed. He turned around and turned off the water to the bath with was about to overflow. "Maybe you shouldn't have a bath just yet..."

"No! Please? I just want to be clean" he looked at me for a long moment before sighing and nodding. He helps me to undress then hold me steady as I climb into the bath tub. I breathe a relieved sigh the second I'm in the water. I really needed this.

"I'm going to grab something for you to eat while you're in there" I nod and he leaves the room.

I can't help but feel bad for all those people who paid to see him but now because of me can't. I'm a terrible person... I just took away a heap of people's dreams... Why did I have to do this? Why couldn't I be a normal person who just cries? Why did I have to become zombified and stop eating? Why does he even like me? I'm just a hassle for him? He doesn't get anything from this but here I am just taking and taking. Why? Why is he still with me? Why hasn't he kicked me out to find someone better? He could easily find someone else, someone more suited to him. But why hasn't he?

I'm still running over these things in my head when he returns with a small bowl of chopped fruit. It was a lot less than I was expecting him to bring me and he must have noticed my inquiring gaze.

"If heard that you shouldn't feed someone too much if they haven't eaten for a long time." He explained "their bodies can't handle it..."

He sits beside the tub and spikes a piece of apple and holds it out to me. I lean forward and pull it from the fork and pop it into my mouth. I almost moan at the taste. I had forgotten how much I just simply enjoyed the taste of food and Jaime just laughed and held the entire bowl out to me and I gratefully accepted it. I eat quickly but soon find that Jaime was right. My body was not used to having food. I felt a pain in my stomach and the food suddenly seemed unappetising. I stopped chewing suddenly and just stared at the bowl realising that there was no way I could eat another bite, not without getting sick anyway.

Jaime, who had been watching me very carefully, gently took the bowl from my hands and put it on the bench.

"You did better than I expected" He said looking at me proudly

"Not as well as I had hoped" I grumbled

"It will take time for your body to readjust. Just be proud that you ate as much as you did"

"Do I get a reward?"

"Depends on what you want"

"You. Naked. In this bath with me. Right now"

"I don't know; seems like a lot" he said with a sly smirk growing on his face.

I look at him pleadingly and he chuckles before standing up. He pulls his shirt over his head and I watch him very carefully, soaking in his image. Only just realising how much I had actually just missed just being able to look at him. He noticed me staring because he grinned widely and undressed slower than before, allowing me to take him in completely until finally he climbed into the bath tub and sat behind me, pulling me against his chest. We sit their together, not talking, just enjoying finally getting to be in each other’s company, Jaime fiddling with my now clean hair while I just pushed around the water in the tub and at last, my mind was completely at ease, all there was, was Jaime and the rest of the world didn't exist in that moment. There was no pain, no worry, and no fear. Not when I was with him.

Notes

GUYS!! I am so sorry it took this long to update!! I had a heap of reading I had to do for English so I didn't get the chance to write anything :'( Please don't hate me :(

love you all
xox