Forgive Me- Part 2

Jaime's POV

The guys and I were currently sitting in the Fuentes living room while Kevin our tour manager tells us he's got a tour lines up for us.

"Who with?" Tony asks

"It will be with Bring Me The Horizon and Of Mice & Men" Kevin answered

"When is it?" Asked Mike, it was easy to see that he was getting psyched up, he had a huge grin on his face and his hands were automatically tapping rhythmically on his legs.

"In three weeks"

"Is it the States or...?"

"Yea it's an American Tour for the release of your new album"

"How long?" I asked thinking of Amelia.

"It will be about two and a half months" shit, will she be okay here own her own that long? I mean that's longer than what she's been living here for...

"Please tell me we have the same crew" Vic's said

"Yep, already talked to them and they can all do it."

"Thank god"

We chatted about the tour and where we'll be playing. Honestly, even though I'm worried about Amelia I can't help but be excited. I love touring, we all do; it's a huge part of our lives. Getting to meet the fans, hearing their stories and getting to travel; it's the perfect life! Except one thing; we have to leave our loved ones behind.

“Hey Jaime?” Tony asked me when everyone else was busy chatting

“Yea?”

“Will Milly be okay?” he seemed just as worried that I am.

“Honestly I have no idea. I hope she will but she doesn’t really know San Diego that well yet because when she goes out it’s just to the beach…”

“Well at least she is going out, that’s always a plus”

“Yea I guess…”

“You’re freaking out about this aren’t you?” his voice lowered

“That obvious huh?”

“Well I can see how much you care about her, and this is your first time leaving.”

“I’ve left her before…” I grumbled

“Yea but before she was at her own place, where she had already lived on her own for years, she’s never been on her own here so it makes sense that you’re worried”

“I shouldn’t be though. She’s a grown woman and she can take care of herself”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you care about her” I sigh in defeat “Look man, you know she’ll call you if anything happens”

“She didn’t last time…” I said thinking back to when she broke up with Isaac.

“What do you mean?” he looked really confused

“Remember about four months ago when I was freaking out because she wouldn’t return any of my calls?”

“Wasn’t that because she had just broken up with Isaac and smashed her phone?”

“Not exactly…”

“What is it?”

“Before we met her, Milly had a problem with self-harm, and I made her promise to tell me if she ever felt like doing it again. After she broke up with Isaac she broke that promise. Even when she did get a new number she didn’t even call me, she called Gaskarth.” I was still angry over the fact that I wasn’t the first person that she called after all of that happened. I promised to let it go, and I did, mostly…

“Shit…”

“Yea”

“Okay, how about this. Why don’t you call Alex and ask him to tell you if Amelia calls him about something major?”

“They’re like best friends; he won’t tell me anything that she asks him not to”

“Well at least you know that someone will know. Whether it’s you or Alex, either way someone will know and be able to talk her through it and help her out” though it did upset me that I might not be the person she goes to, it does make me feel a little better than if she didn’t go to anyone. Also because I know that Alex won’t let anything happen to her, if she needs him, he’ll be there for her.

“Thanks Tone” I smile slightly at him and he smiles and pats my back before returning to the tour conversation.

Once the meeting was over I texted Amelia to see where she was and she replied that she was still at the beach. I quickly went home and got changed into some boardies, grabbed two beach towels and headed down to the beach. Even though it is winter, I have to admit that compared to where Amelia lived it does feel like it’s on the way to summer. I reached the beach and found Amelia almost immediately. She had a new found love for the rock pools at the end of the beach. She didn’t go in them or anything, she just like looking at them; apparently they give her inspiration for her art.

I walk over to where she was sitting on a rock overlooking the pools and sat next to her, careful not to scare her so that she didn’t fall off the rock and into the pools below. She smiled at me as I sat down and I couldn’t help but notice how happy and peaceful she looked. She looked like she truly belonged here.

“So are we going swimming?”

“Actually, I’m enjoying just sitting here” I could see straight through that though. I saw her eyes flicker quickly over to where there was a group of people sitting on the beach and I immediately knew that she was getting self-conscious of her scars again. It’s not that I don’t understand why she would be, I know how cruel people can be; it’s just that she shouldn’t let it rule her life, I know she can’t help it, it comes hand in hand with her anxiety so I’ll just have to try and find a way around it.

“You know once we’re in the water they won’t be able to see them”

“It’s getting to the water that I’m worried about, we’ll have to walk past them.”

“Here, take a towel, you can wear it until we get past them to the water, and then I’ll run the towels back up the beach. How does that sound?” she thought about it for a moment then agreed.

She stood up, took off her shirt and shorts, wrapped the towel around her body and walked down to the edge of the water. The people were watching her as she did so but it wasn’t because they saw anything, simply because she was in their line of vision. Amelia waited until I was there with her and tugged lightly on her towel before she unwrapped the towel and allowed me to take it. I took it off her and she walked straight into the water up to her hips where her scars were completely hidden. I smiled at her, happy that she was willing to do this before I took the towels up the beach away from the water and put them down.

When I walked back down Amelia was facing away from me, looking out over the horizon. I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. “It’s beautiful isn’t it” I said.

“It’s so different to what I’m used to…”

“Better or worse?” I asked genuinely curious

“I think I like the water here better, it’s prettier, but I definitely like the Australian sand better.”

“Good to know,” she looked up at me and smiled “What?”

“Your hair is all curly” she chuckled tugging gently on a lock of hair.

“And yours looks like it’s trying to curl and failing”

“Oh shush, it’s the salt” she pushed me gently before walking forward into the break zone. “You coming?” I grin before joining her.

We spent the next few hours just jumping and diving through the waves, laughing our heads off and just being all round idiots. We head onto the shore when we start to feel hungry. We dry off and go in search of food. We end up going to a Starbucks because Amelia misses her little coffee shop back in Australia. We buy our coffees and walk to a nearby park and sit underneath a tree. The entire time, I’m wondering how I’m going to tell her that I’m going to have to leave in three weeks. I know she’ll kill me if she finds out that I waited more than a day to tell her but I don’t know if I can do it; all I can think about is that woman back at the airport in Canberra, saying how broken Amelia had looked when I left her last time and I really don’t want to do that to her again. But I don’t really have a choice.

“Hey Mil?” I finally work up the courage to tell her.

“Yea?” she looks up from her coffee with a smile. Oh god.

“I-ah, well, you know how the new album just dropped, and well we just had a meeting, as you know.” I was struggling to force the words out “Well uh we were just talking and well Kevin-“

“You have a tour don’t you?” she lowered her cup to the round as she spoke. I couldn’t look her in the eye, I didn’t want to in case she looked upset. I don’t think I could handle seeing her look upset so I just looked at the cup in my hand and nodded. “How long?” her voice quivered slightly, but I could tell that she was trying to keep it level.

“Two and a half months” my voice was barely a whisper.

“Well we both knew this was coming and it’s not as long as I expected at least.” She said brightly. I looked up in shock. How could she sound so happy? When I looked at her she was smiling at me but all I could see was the pain hidden in her eyes. She wore her mask so well, and if I didn’t know her as well as I did I probably wouldn’t have seen it. I open my arms to her and her mask crumbles. She dives into my arms and grips me tightly. She cries into my arms and I can feel her breathing rise, and it didn’t stop. She was hyperventilating. Shit, she’s having an attack. Shit! I pull away slightly and force her to look at me. She looks me dead in the eye and all I could see was fear.

“Milly, I’m right here okay? You need to slow your breathing.” I could see her struggling to do so, so I take her hand and place it over my chest. “Feel me breathe okay? Match your breathing to mine.” She focuses all her attention to the hand that is placed on my chest, and soon her breathing, though haggard slows to a regular pace. Once she calmed down I pulled her close to me again and rub her back soothingly.

“I don’t want you to go…”

“I know, but I have to”

“I know… the fans need you” I place a kiss on the top of her head and breathe in the salty smell of the ocean that clung to her hair.

“I love you Milly…” I wasn’t expecting to say it, I didn’t want to scare her with such powerful words, but I knew as I spoke them that I had never meant anything as much as I did in that moment. I didn’t even care if she didn’t feel the same; I didn’t care if she didn’t say them back. I’m just glad that now she knows.

Notes

HE SAID IT! I wonder what Amelia will do?

xox