Meet My Dedication

It was 2 in the afternoon when I finally woke up. My liver was going to hate me in the long run, I could tell. I was laying on one of the couch in the guys's bus. My head pounding and my chest felt like it was on fire. I crawled around trying to find a water bottle or something to drink that would ease my pain a little bit, that didn't involve more alcohol.
"Ugh, I really need to find a new habit to indulge that doesn't involve me being in pain the morning after." I went into the mini fridge and found a giant water bottle calling my name. "I'm sure the guys wont mind if I have this. There's hundreds all over the place, I'm sure.
"Morning sleepy head." Alan peeped through the front door, looking down at me leaning on the fridge.
"Morning, Ginger princess. How's your day going?" I said in between gulps of water.
"Pretty alright, you look like hell." He chuckled and I looked down at myself, realizing I was not in the same clothes as I was last night. I was in a baggy Slipknot t-shirt and just my underwear, no wonder I felt so comfortable.
"Ah, hell." I sighed and banged the back of my head against the fridge. Bad idea, "ouch!" You'd think I'd know how to deal with hangovers by now. "Where is everyone?"
"Tino and Austin went out to go get lunch for everyone. Aaron and Phil are helping clean up the mess outside with everyone. I came in to check on you."
"You mean, make sure I hadn't just run off?"
"Yup," he plopped down on the couch in front of me. "So, you enjoy yourself last night?"
"I don't know, I barely remember what happened after Austin and I..." I trailed off. I remembered kissing him, after balling my eyes out talking about my friends and his mom. I remembered sitting outside and watching Jackass with him. After that, nothing.
"After you and Austin... did what?" He raised his eyebrow and leaned closer to me.
"I kissed him. I think that's all I did."
"Judging from your current attire, I'd say that wasn't all you did." He winked and laughed at my mortified look. "Don't worry, no one judges you. Except maybe your friend, Zakk. He didn't seem very happy this morning."
"Zakk is still here?" I looked up at him and continued sipping on my water.
"Yeah, he was pissed as hell last night that you were still with Austin. Guess you got yourself a secret admirer." He took the water bottle from me and stole a sip, then returning it. "I suggest you get changed. I'm sure you can keep the shirt though. Austin has a million of them."
I blushed and he helped me get up and handed me my backpack. "Don't worry about anything, I hadn't seen Austin as happy as he was when he woke up in a long time. You're fine in that department." He shoved me into the bathroom to get changed.
I took a good long look in the mirror, my makeup was smudged, but didn't look as bad as I expected and my hair was definitely a different story. I brushed it out and washed out majority of the gel, my hair was just going to be a wavy mess with a random curl here and there. I hated my hair when it wasn't straight, but today I'd have to deal with it. I put it back up into a messy bun again, and put my bra and pants back on.
One thing left my mind boggling though, Austin was happier than Alan had seen him in a long time? Did I do that? I couldn't have, I wasn't anything great, he had to have known that.
I heard the door to the bus and figured it was Aaron and Phil coming in.

"Where is she, Ashby?" That didn't sound like Aaron or any of the boys, for that matter.
"I don't know what you're talking about. No one's here but me, and the guys are out getting food and cleaning up before we leave for North Carolina tomorrow." Alan sounded irritated. I put my ear up to the bathroom door, and made sure I had locked it. "Now, please leave before Austin comes back and kicks your ass."
I heard the door slam shortly after that, and footsteps coming closer.
Alan knocked lightly on the door, "you're safe, you can come out now."
I opened the door slowly and grabbed all of my things. "You're leaving tomorrow... for North Carolina?" I knew they were, I knew they weren't staying, and that this wasn't the last stop of the tour. I knew I shouldn't have been as upset as I was, but I couldn't help it. Alan looked at me with concern.
"Mikey? You know we can't stay, even if we wanted you. We're signed to do the rest of the tour until the beginning of August. It's not even a week, and then...." Neither of us knew what was going to happen. And I wasn't going to get in the way of their tour. Besides, I wasn't anyone for the guys to be bothered with.
"I should go, let you go guys relax before you go to North Carolina. I'm sorry..." I gathered all of my stuff and headed to the door to leave when Austin came in with bags and boxes of food. "Oh, I... Uh, it was nice meeting you, Austin Carlile." I pushed past him and starting running out from where all the buses were packed and toward the main gate.
I kept running and running, even when I heard Austin calling after me.
"Mikey, wait!" Austin caught up to me, and grabbed my arm. "Please, wait. I don't understand, did I do something wrong?"
"No," I grabbed a hold of his shoulders, "you didn't do anything wrong, I just feel like I'm intruding on you guys and I'm just getting in the way. Besides, I have work in the morning and I have to get home, or my dad will get upset..." I had a million excuses to why I couldn't stay.
"Mikey... Mikey, please stop." His hands held my face to look at him in the eyes. "I want you to stay, with us. With me."
"Austin... I just can't." I let out a deep sigh and put my hands on top of his. "I can't just leave everything I have here, my job, my sister, my cat... It's unrealistic. I can't reasonably pack up everything and run away with you. It's illogical, it's ridiculous, it's...." I stopped and felt my tears dripping down on his shirt. He put his forehead against mine and kissed my nose.
"Mikey, stop, please. You don't have to come with us, I won't force you." His smile was small, but still made my heart beat pound out of my chest. "But, I do want to get to know you better. Can you give me that? I can't promise you anything, except that I care about you. I don't want to hurt you, that's the absolute last thing that I want."
I wrapped my arms around his neck and without thinking I smashed my mouth into his and let my emotions get the better of me. "I don't want to hurt you either, Austin, ever. You gave me the best day of my life, yesterday. Even if I can't remember all of it," I smile apologetically and he just chuckled as he wiped the tears from my face.
"Well, I remember getting very drunk with you and talking about each other. We were watching a movie and then we kissed and started playing truth or dare, and kissing sort of lead to other things and well..." He rubbed the back of his neck and his face turned into a deep red.
"We had sex, didn't we?" I didn't mean to sound so serious, or blunt, but I did.
"Yeah." He smiled, but didn't say anything afterwards.
It was silent for a few minutes.
"Austin, how am I getting home? I mean, I don't mind taking a taxi, but that's really fucking expensive, and I don't have that kind of money." I didn't want to mooch of him more than I already had. "I can see if Milly can pick me up." I offered, but I doubted it.
"Let's go back to the van and talk about it, you don't have to leave just yet, and we still haven't eaten! Plus, I think you might have hurt Alan's feelings by walking out like you did."
I felt terrible about that, I was just embarrassed and angry. I didn't mean to hurt Alan, he was a good guy, I just didn't want to feel like I was in the way.
"Come on," he took my hand and we started heading back towards the bus lot.

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"What happened between you and Zakk? Why do you guys all hate him?" I didn't really mean to ask, but everyone was so quiet and the question kept popping up in my mind.
Aaron just picked at his food, Tino and Phil looked at each other, Alan nearly choked on his soda, and Austin seemed like he was about to punch the wall.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I just wanted to know..." it came out as more of a whisper.
Phil put his hand on my shoulder, "Zakk isn't the nicest guy that shows up to Warped Tour. We don't understand how Matty can stand to bring him along, half the time."
"All he does is drink all our booze, talk about how he's the best damn tattoo artist out there, and be a real jerk to everyone who even tries to talk to him." Aaron finished.
"Anything else I should know about?" I didn't mentioned that I did think he was the greatest tattoo artist out there, and that basically everyone in my area worshiped the ground he walked on. Or that he was my artist, and had done all the pieces on me.
Alan looked at Austin, then back at me. "About two years ago, Zakk was on tour with all of us and he and Austin had become really close, almost bro status." Austin's fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles were turning white. "And he was dating this girl, Aubrey."
"That stupid cunt was cheating on me the whole damn tour with that god damned son of a bitch!" Austin spat. I'd never seen him angry before. I was pretty sure I never wanted to, but now I was terrified to what I had just ignited in him. "I trusted him, and I loved her, and they fucking went behind my back." He had gotten up from the table and nearly knocked over his food onto the ground.
"I'm... so sorry, I didn't know. If I had, I wouldn't have asked." I did a major face palm and got up to go over to him. the rest of the guys were silent. "Austin, I didn't mean to upset you." I tried to put my hand on his shoulder, but he nudged it off.
"I'm going for a walk." He muttered before slamming the door to the bus behind him.
I stood there dumbfounded. "Should I go after him?" I stared at the front door, waiting for him to come back right away, even if I knew he wouldn't.
"Nah," Tino said with a mouth full of his burger. "He'll cool off and then come back."
"He just needs time," Alan had said. Phil just shook his head and Aaron went back to eating his food.
"Austin didn't wait for me," I said under my breath, he had gone after me. "I'm going after him." I went out the door and started searching the lot for the, now angry, rock star. "Austin!" I called out for him, "Austin, where are you?!"

"Lose your rock star, Mikey?" Zakk was still here. He looked like he hadn't slept at all last night, or he was totally stoned.
"Hi Zakk, and no. He just went for a walk. What are you still doing here?" I crossed my arms over my chest.
"I could ask you the same thing. I didn't expect to see you still hanging around. Then again, I never knew you were a party girl. Your personality sober and drunk aren't exactly equivalent, are they?"
I wasn't getting a good vibe from him, and it was making the hairs on the back of my neck stick up. "I'm a little busy, right now, Zakk. I don't have time for this." I started to walk away and head towards the entrance of the bus lot. There wasn't really any security around except for people tearing down the tents and stages. Without all of the people, it looked like a ghost town, and it was huge.
"He doesn't care about you," Zakk called out from behind me. "If he did, he wouldn't have just walked off. You know that. He can't care about you. All you'll ever be to him is a fangirl who just wanted in his pants. So, in a way, you got what you wanted. Why still hang around?"
I had half of a mind to go back and punch him square in the face, but the other half just wanted to find Austin and apologize. "Don't let him get to you," I mumbled to myself, "he's just being an insensitive jerk, like you know him to be." I had to keep walking away from him. Besides, what he said couldn't be true, Austin had already told me that he cared about me. He could learn to love me, not that I expected him too. This was all just too confusing, I needed to find Austin. That was my objective, and I was going to make sure that I completed it.

Notes

Merry Christmas (and whatever else you celebrate) you guys! Hope you all are having a wonderful Holiday!

Mikey's "What Did I Do Last Night" outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=108070524