Time & Time Again

I sighed and leaned back on the couch, smiling as Jace played with Frank’s drumsticks, tapping the ground. I was trying to focus on him and not let my thoughts wander but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get that stupid dream, or rather, memory out of my head. It was the last thing I wanted to be thinking about and I suddenly wished I was back in California, sitting up in my tree. I turned my head as I heard the door of the bus open and the four guys shuffled in, returning from their interview. I smiled and then groaned as Fin plopped down on the couch, his head landing in my lap.

“How was the interview?” I asked as the other guys started rummaging through the cabinets, looking for food.

“Same old, same old,” Chase responded, opening a bag of chips. The others nodded in agreement and I laughed.

“Is it busy out there yet?” I asked Fin, motioning toward the outside.

“Nah not really, it’s still pretty early. Probably got a few more hours before the craziness starts,” he grinned, that was one thing Fin never got tired of, the craziness. “Why?” he asked, looking up toward me.

I shrugged. “I was probably going to go for a run, if you guys could watch Jace, I need to clear my head.”

Fin sat up, looking over at me with concern, he knew what I meant when I said I had to clear my head. It meant he was on my mind. He smiled sympathetically, “Go ahead, before it gets too hot, I got the little man,” he grinned and then reached down, picking up Jace. “Uh oh, Uncle Frank isn’t going to be too happy when he sees you playing with his drumsticks,” Fin said to Jace, looking toward the back of the bus.

I grinned as Frank shouted what, and heard him make his way to the front. I quickly got up, headed toward my bunk and changed into a sports bra and muscle tank, and a pair of yoga capris, shoving my phone into the hidden pocket on my waist band and headed back up front, sneaking past Jace and mouthing a thank you to Fin as I walked by. I grabbed my gym shoes out of the storage compartment outside, quickly slipping them on. I did a few stretches, warming up. It wasn’t too hot out yet, the sun hidden by the clouds but I knew it wouldn’t take long to warm up so I did one last stretch and took off, maneuvering through all the different tour buses, creating some type of trail as I ran.

As my feet were pounding against the pavement I couldn’t help but let my mind travel back to the dream I had. Of course as soon as I thought I had gotten over it, or at least accepted it, my past would come bubbling right back up. Talk about bad timing too. All I really wanted to do was forget, well as much as I could in a situation like this, but of course, my mind had other ideas. Why did he keep doing this to me? It wasn’t bad enough that he fucking left me but now he wouldn’t let me forget either, and not just because I had his child.

“Fuck!” I screamed and stopped suddenly, crouching down, bringing my forehead to rest against my knees, my arms wrapping around my shins as I tried to catch my breath.
I felt a vibration on my waist and jolted upright, grabbing my phone out of the pocket of my pants. I sighed looking down at the name.

“Hey Sophie,” I answered, brushing my hair out of my face.

“Hey girl!” she responded back cheerily. Sophie had surprised me, by not being pissed at me, when I told her I was leaving Chicago, though I was pretty sure it was because she knew that I needed to go, she knew I had a lot of skeletons in my closet. I guess she assumed that this is what was best for me, though I knew she was upset that I would no longer be modelling for her, claiming I was her best. “Just checking in, how are things?”

“Eh, nothing exciting yet,” I said looking around; I was standing in the middle of two tour buses, neither of which I recognized.

“Bummer, I was hoping for some juicy details,” she laughed. “No exciting bed crawls with that extremely attractive tattooed guy, what was his name…Tony?”

I laughed. “Oh God, um no, nothing yet, not that I expect anything to happen.” I sighed, suddenly remembering I forgot to call Tony this morning.

“What do you mean? I thought you said you two had a thing?” I could just picture her wiggling her eyebrows.

“Okay, I never said we had a thing, I just said that he was a good friend who I may or may not find attractive and sweet and ahhh…fuck! No, just, no, it’s nothing, besides I have a kid, who would even want to deal with that shit? Let alone someone like him?” I closed my eyes and started walking again, headed towards the back of one of the tour buses.

I stopped walking when I heard her sigh over the line. “Oh come on Scottie, cut yourself some slack. Yes, you have Jace but that doesn’t mean a guy can’t fall for you. You’d be surprised, besides I thought he was already quite fond of Jace?”

“I don’t know Soph, I guess it’s just complicated, besides I haven’t even seen him except for a couple minutes before I went and fell asleep for like a year.” I smiled, shaking my head.
“Well, just don’t sell yourself short just yet, you still have a couple weeks. Anyways, I was just calling to let you know that I’ll probably be posting a couple photos today from your shoot, just a heads-up, maybe they’ll get Tony’s attention…” she giggled and I couldn’t help but smile and shake my head again.

“Alright, if you say so.” I laughed.

“So where are you at anyways?” she asked and my eyes widened.

Oh shit, where was I? I know that we were in Chicago yesterday but Fin said I had slept through everyone’s set and the drive to the next venue, which now that I thought about it, I had no idea where that was, where I was. I looked around me, trying to picture the tour date list in my head. Fuck, I had no idea.

“Uh, where am I? That’s a good question….” I trailed off pursing my lips.

“Indianapolis!” I heard someone shout from above me, well not just someone.

I turned and looked up at one of the tour buses, noticing Tony sitting on top of the roof of one, grinning and waving down at me. I laughed and waved back, of course just my luck. My stomach dropped as I started to wonder how long he had been there, how much he had heard, I mean it wasn’t like I had said his name out loud or anything, but still.

“Scottie?” I heard Sophie ask and I suddenly remembered I was still on the phone with her.

“Oh. Uh, sorry, I guess I’m in Indianapolis,” I said with a laugh and looked back up at Tony who was still looking down at me, smiling. “But, I, I have to go, I’ll call you later, okay Sophie?”

“Alrighty, keep me updated on how things go with Tony!” she giggled again and I said a quick bye, hanging up, putting my phone back in my pocket.

I looked up at Tony. “How long have you been sitting up there you creep?” I shouted.

He laughed. “Not long. Come join me?” he asked, motioning towards the end of the bus, where I noticed a ladder.

I sighed, shaking my head, but made my way to the ladder, climbing up. I was just to the top when I saw a tattooed hand reach out and I placed my hand in Tony’s, ignoring the surge I felt when he touched me as he helped pull me up. He grinned at me again and then we made our way to the middle of the bus, both of us sitting down, looking out at the venue.

“Wow,” I breathed, it was beautiful.

“I know,” Tony said and I turned my head to find him already looking at me, a small smile on his lips. “I like coming up here, getting away from everyone.”

I smiled back at him, bringing my knees to my chest. “What do you do up here?” I asked, leaning my head down on my knees, still looking at him.

He shrugged and looked out toward the venue. “Just think mostly.”

I smiled and nodded. Tony and I were a lot alike. “In California, there was this tree in a park down the street from my Aunt’s house. I would go there almost every day and climb it, sitting in it and just looking at the world. I would spend hours there, just thinking.”

Tony turned back to look at me and smiled. I looked at him, admiring his big brown eyes, his facial hair, which I was falling more and more in love with the more I looked at it, his dermal, shining in the sun and I closed my eyes, feeling his gaze burning my skin and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing the same thing I was, admiring me, I kind of hoped he was.

“So I guess you were more tired than you thought, huh?” he said after a short silence and I laughed.

“Yeah, I guess,” I grinned. “Sorry about that.”

He laughed. “No worries, you definitely needed it. Not gonna lie, you were looking pretty zombie like yesterday.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh ha ha, well how do I look now?” I asked, sarcastically.

“Beautiful,” he said simply and I couldn’t help but blush. “But you always look that way so…I guess that’s not a fair description.” He squinted his eyes. “You are a little sweaty though,” he said with a laugh.

I laughed and reached out to smack him, he was too quick though and he slipped out of the way, causing me to lean too far forward. I lost my balance for a second and my leg slipped away from my chest and I suddenly remembered that I was sitting on top of a tour bus and I panicked as my whole body slid forward. I was falling.

I gasped as I felt Tony grab my wrist and looked up to see him staring at me, eyes wide with fear as he reached down his other hand, gripping my other arm in a strong hold as he started pulling me back up.

“Shit Scottie, I’m sorry, I forgot…I didn’t…” he trailed off in a huff as he continued to pull me up. He gave one last tug and I managed to get a good grip on the side of the bus with my foot and kicked off of it, attempting to help Tony pull me up, but failing miserably as he wasn’t prepared for the sudden weight change and when he pulled on me again I ended up nearly jumping into his arms, causing him to fall backwards, lying on his back, me sprawled across his chest, one of his hands coming to rest on the small of my back.

“Fuck, now I’m sorry,” I said with a laugh and felt him chuckle beneath me.

We laid like that for I don’t even know how long, both of us trying to catch our breath, imagining just how bad things could have gone if Tony hadn’t managed to catch me. I suddenly realized that my hand was still wrapped in Tony’s, him having tangled our fingers together at some point trying to pull me up. I was still resting on his chest, rather comfortably, one hand resting on his bicep, the other one, the one he was holding was up above his head. I gently lifted my head up, looking up to see him already staring down at me, a small smile playing on his lips. I smiled back, shyly, which was very unusual for me, I never got shy, and laughed, looking back down, positive that I was blushing.

“Well, that would have been interesting,” I muttered after a minute, looking back up at Tony.

He grunted in response. “That would have been fucking bad.” He said, shaking his head. “Fuck, I’m so stupid I wasn’t even thinking when I moved out of the way, I saw the way you were sitting, I shouldn’t-“

“Tony, really, it’s fine, I’m fine.” I cut him off, not being able to listen to him beat himself up. I gave him a small smile as he looked back down at me.

He sighed. “I know, I just, if something would have happened to you…” he trailed off and I couldn’t help but get lost in his big brown eyes, seeing something I didn’t recognize in them before he quickly looked away, shaking his head again.

“I’m fine.” I repeated in a whisper and without even thinking about it I squeezed his hand.

Almost as if he didn’t realize we were still holding hands, he looked back at me, a smile returning on his face. We continued to stare at each other, not saying anything, just taking in each other’s presence. He shifted beneath me and I felt his hand leave my lower back as he reached forward, brushing some hair out of my face and I couldn’t help but look down with another shy smile as his hand lingered on my cheek.

“I missed you Scottie,” he murmured and I looked back up, meeting his eyes.

“I missed you too Tone,” I whispered.

I saw a little twitch of a smile as he took in my words and he looked at me, biting his lip. I couldn’t help but do the same as I felt him move beneath me again, bringing his face closer to mine, more specifically bringing his lips closer to mine. I was positive we were going to kiss and I suddenly felt unsure of myself. Why would Tony want to kiss me? I mean sure, I guess there always had been a little sexually tension between us but I had always just assumed that it was just the two of us having some fun, giving the fans a little something to gossip about, because they sure did love talking about Tony and I.

When we were done talking on twitter or on the phone though, I would go and kiss my son goodnight and tuck him in and Tony would go out drink and probably sleep with some random girl he met at a club. As much as I loved to play around with the idea of Tony and I, I knew that it would never happen, not now anyways. Maybe if we had met before, when I was still just Scottie McQueen, Fin McQueen’s little sister and Searching Souls' merch girl things could have been different. Maybe if I had actually gone on tour when Searching Souls was going with Pierce the Veil, maybe, just maybe. No. I couldn’t think like that though, I just couldn’t.

The truth of the matter now was that I was Scottie McQueen, model and mother to the most adorable little boy named Jace and Tony was still Tony Perry, guitarist for Pierce the Veil. We now came from two completely different worlds.

As Tony continued to lean up towards me though I couldn’t help but try and push these thoughts to the back of my head. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want to kiss Tony. I would be lying if I hadn’t thought about being with him and letting myself love him, maybe even him loving me. It’s what every girl dreams of, finding that one boy who could change her life, make her feel things that no one else could. Tony Perry was that boy for me. I realized that after seeing him for the second time, the day we ran into each other in Chicago, he was there when I needed him, even if he wasn’t physically there, he was there.

The timing was always wrong though.

I realized this too; that Tony and I always seemed to be battling this thing with timing, just as Mike Fuentes ruined the moment that Tony and I were currently sharing, his lips inches away from mine.

“Tony? Hey, Tone are you, wait, what are you doing?” Mike asked, surprised and Tony and I quickly untangled ourselves from the other, sitting up I noticed Mike sticking his head out through the sunroof of the bus, from where I’m assuming Tony had climbed out of in the first place, squinting his eyes at us.

“Scottie?” Mike asked, his face lighting up once he realized who I was.

“Hey Mikey,” I laughed.

“Shit, what are you doing here? With Tony?” he asked and couldn’t help but roll my eyes as he looked between Tony and I, suggestively raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, I was just out jogging and Tony was being a perv, sitting up here watching me” I said playfully.

Tony laughed loudly and shook his head, sliding closer to the sunroof. Glancing back at me, he winked and my heart fluttered.

“Well get your ass in here so I can hug you,” Mike shouted with a laugh as he disappeared into the bus.

I laughed and smiled, making my way towards Tony, he gave me one more quick smile before he jumped down in the hole, leaving me alone on the roof of the bus. I shook my head as I placed my legs in the opening, letting them dangle as I took one last look around me, enjoying the view. It was one thing I could never get tired of, sitting on top of the world, forgetting about time. I sighed, as I pushed myself forward, falling into the tour bus.

Notes

*just a little warning guys, I unfortunately don't know hardly anything about how Warped Tour works so please, ignore it if things don't seem to be too believable lol I'm trying my hardest.*